A Billionaire Walked Into A Bar

The bar had Ralph's bar boldly written at the front, just above the door. I walked in and was immediately greeted by the smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and vomit. There was loud music coming from the large speakers placed in the four corners of the room. I walked to the bar and one of the bartenders asked me what I wanted to drink.

"Whisky, please," I replied.

He stared weirdly as he provided me with the drink. I thought he would have recognized me if he was at the funeral a week ago. A large bearded man sat to my left, "he must be the bouncer," I thought to myself.

"Hey, I would like to meet the owner," I referred to the bartender after sipping my drink for a while.

"The owner? I am the owner," he replied.

"We both know that's a lie, buddy. Now we can do this the easy way, and believe me the easy way is the best way for you." 

"What are you talking about, man? I am the owner here, and I don't think you're welcome any longer," he signaled to the bouncer who immediately moved closer to me and placed his large hand on my shoulder.

"Well, I just want you to know I warned you. I am getting into that back-office one way or another," I said staring directly into his eyes.

The bouncer tried to drag me by my arm but I swiftly slipped off his grip, and in the same chained move kicked at his right knee. He fell down onto his left knee, giving out a loud cry. I grabbed him by the neck and hit his head against the bar. He fell violently on the ground and lost consciousness.

The bartender reached under the bar and brought out a double-barrel sawed-off shotgun, I  quickly ducked before he could fire the two shots, not minding the crowd. The whole place descended into chaos as everyone in sight started running towards the door, trying to escape. The bartender threw the empty gun at me as a final gesture of frustrated resistance, he made for the back door and I ran after him.

"Pascal! Pascal!" he screamed as he ran through the narrow space leading to the kitchen and then the back office. All the people who worked in the kitchen fled as they saw him running, and me behind him.

I finally caught up to him just before he could get to the back office door. I grabbed and shoved him against the wall and he fell to the ground.

"Please, don't kill me!" he cried loudly.

I pulled him up and then shoved him through the office door, the door flung open and he fell violently into the office still screaming, "please don't kill me!"

I walked into the room and the man I was really looking for sat on a sofa sandwiched by two hefty men, brandishing Ak 47 assault rifles. His name was Afeez Bakar, he was a contractor,  the kind that collected contracts on people's lives.

"Hello, Mr. Danjuma. To what do I owe the honor, he murmured as he sipped the drink out of the glass he was holding," looking unburdened by my presence.

"Perhaps you really didn't think this through before coming into this place without like a crazed bull," I was gripped by doubt.

"Never let your emotions get the best of you. Your emotions can be a strong weapon but, when misused, it would easily get you destroyed," Choji's voice went through my mind.

"Hello, Afeez. I just wanna find out who paid you to attack my father's funeral... And oh, I'm gonna need the name of the guy that shot Khalid as well," I finally said after a moment of awkward silence.

"And you thought you could just stroll in here and make demands, you spoilt brat?" he said with a sudden stern stare and serious voice.

"Well, see Afeez, you and whoever hired you shouldn't have messed with my family."

"You and your father have so much in common, kid. You both have a largemouth on you. You are just dumber... I mean even your father had to be sought out but you're here, serving yourself up as a goat to be slaughtered at the altar of a god," he laughed scornfully.

His words got me thinking and I began to see beyond my own nose. I was already getting my answer without Afeez knowing it.

"My father was sick and dying, but could his death not have been as a result of the sickness?" I pondered as he continued to talk and laugh.

"The weakest of men are the ones with too many words to say, and boasting is perhaps the most revealing peculiarity of a weak man, Afeez."

"What the hell is he saying now?" he said as he tried to balance his breath.

"You are more vulnerable when you think you've won," I whispered as all the light bulbs in the room flickered and suddenly went off.

The two goons were blinded and started firing their weapons but it was too late. I quickly charged at the one closest to me, grabbed the gun, and twisted it downward with such force that his finger broke in the process. He screamed in pain and just like I had calculated, I fell to the ground as Afeez and the other man shot in his direction, showering him with bullets. They both continued to shoot until their guns were empty. As they struggled to reload their weapons, I rose up and shot the second goon through the head, he fell to the ground, and before Afeez could make any move I shot him in the leg.

"Please, stop!" he screamed like a child as the gun fell from his hand and started wriggling around in a final attempt to escape. I slowly walked towards him and grabbed him by his coat. I then dragged him out of the room through the back into the alley.

"Are you ready to tell me who ordered you to attack my father's funeral, Azeez," I asked?

"You don't know what you're playing with, kid. This city isn't for you anymore, you'll get swallowed up whole," he cried painfully.

"For the last time, Azeez I want names!"

"They'll kill me if I say anything! Please don't make me say anything. If you know what is good for you, just get out of this town and forget about this place."

I aimed at his second leg and shot him, he screamed for a moment and suddenly he started laughing.

"Talk, Azeez! I won't stop until you do!"

"I know you won't stop, kid. I know. I could see the darkness in your eyes, you're a killer like me. I guess when you live by the sword, you die by the sword. The man you're looking for is..."

As Azeez was about to say the name, he was interrupted by the whistling sound of a bullet. A sniper, the bullet caught him right in the throat, and right before I could take cover, another bullet was fired, and I was hit. I did even feel the pain until I was on the ground bleeding out.