6. The Rules Of The Game

A bright ray of sunlight filtered through the window and into the room. The shadows of the window frame made the morning look more cheerful than it was. Andrea looked outside and the green lawn and colourful flowers in the garden could not keep her cheerful. They made her feel more depressed. They made her more aware of where she was.

She had just agreed to the open marriage and then had sat there as her husband had laid out the rules of their so-called open marriage. No taking their lovers to their home, no taking their lovers where reporters could see. His What would people think if the marriage between the two great families was less than loving? What Would the directors and shareholders of their respective companies think?

His family already though the worst of her thanks to his brother, but her family needed to not know about her failing marriage. They were waiting for the slightest chance to take what her father left for her. They were waiting for a chance to pin her under their control and clip her wings.

‘I guess I have to thank the respect Rafael had for my father,’ Andrea thought with a dour smile.

And she did. If he let her to their mercy, they would leave her with nothing. She knew it. There was a reason why, in the last days of her father’s live, he had made amendments to the trust he had put together for her. He had seen the vultures circling. He had not had enough time to completely shield her, so he had ensured Rafael would be there for her.

He had been. Until Felix had ruined it.

And now here she was, listening to her husband talk about keeping their affairs discreet and wondering how far he was willing to take this. Was there truly no going back?

It seemed not. Andrea sat still with her fingers curled into her lap. Rafael continued speaking. His tone was clinical, detached, as if he were outlining a business strategy rather than rewriting the rules of their marriage. Her eyes still hurt from all the crying she had done the previous night. She was accepting that this was happening, but it felt like it wasn’t her life. How could this be her life?

“We would both be available for social events and they must be communicated in advance,” Rafael was saying his voice curt, “Again, the image of unity is important. I will keep the promise Imade to your father.”

‘The image,’ Adrea thought with a great deal of sorrow, was that all her marriage had been reduced to? The image?

She looked down at her lap because she thought that if she looked at him for a second longer, she would burst into tears.

“Avoid partners who will try to exploit you,” she heard Rafael say and she prayed for him to stop.

She prayed to be deaf. He was hurting her. She wondered if he knew that. Every word was like a knife piercing through her skin as deeply as it would go and then being twisted… slowly.

“They should know and respect that you are married,” his voice carried through, clear and composed.

She wondered how he could be so clear about this. So, controlled. She wondered if their marriage was so easy for him to sweep aside and just step over it. She still wanted it to be a test. But she felt like a dark cloud was overhead and if it released its load, it’s torrents would wash her illusions away.

“For the sake of both our safety,” Rafael’s voice called her attention back to his voice, “Let your partners know that you are married. Don’t hurt them with unrealistic expectations.”

She looked at him. A question building up in her mind and coming to the forefront.

“Is this what you really want?” she asked.

He looked back at her. Something flickered in his eyes and on his face before it shuttered.

“I’m giving you what you want,” he said simply, “You can be with Felix all you want.”

If that was meant to hurt her, it did.

‘I was never with Felix,’ she thought, ‘I had never been with Felix. I had never wanted him nor will I ever want him.’

She would have said the words aloud had she not been afraid that they would anger him. They would not do her any good. After all, prison was full of people who did not do it and the evidence was against her.

“Are there any rules you want to add?” he asked her.

Adrea looked at him with surprise. He wanted her to add to this madness?

She was not going to contribute. She had made vows to him and had never broken them. She would never break them so why should she add to this madness. Realising that he was waiting for a response, she shook her head.

“No,” her voice was a low rasp.

That lump in her throat came back. She felt the ache in her chest. Despite the warmth in the air, she felt like she had been stripped naked and buried in a pile of snow.

Rafael nodded his head and then walked out of the room. She sat there staring into nothingness. She could not say she was digesting what as happening. Her mind was actively trying to reject what she was going through. She took a breath and it went in as a hiccup. She tried again but she felt like someone was actively constricting her throat.

Her once silent mind became a whirlwind of chaos. Everything that had happened from the night Felix had slipped into her bead coming back to her. Everything up now when her husband was giving her permission to be with his brother.

She felt her breaths became quick and shallow. She felt it when her chest tightened. The room around her seemed to close in. The bright sunlight mocked her as it provided no warmth. She felt like her clothes were but an oppressive force, pressing on her skin. Her hands shook in her lap, and she gripped them harder, trying to steady herself. The air felt thick, as if she were suffocating, and her heart began to race, beating a cruel beat against her chest.

She tried to focus on her breathing, but it felt like the very act of breathing was betraying her, each inhale too quick and too shallow. Her vision blurred and the room became hazy. For a split second, she thought she might faint. She clenched her jaw and forced her eyes to open.

‘No, no, no,’ she thought, shaking her head slightly. ‘I can't pass out. I need to breathe. Breathe, Rea. Breathe.’

But the pressure in her chest wouldn't relent. The words Rafael had spoken kept swirling in her head like they were on a turn table, the sound of his voice cold and indifferent, each word causing the same amount of hurt as when it had been said. You can be with Felix all you want. The words repeated over and over, a cruel mantra.

Her breaths grew more frantic. She felt herself teetering on the edge, the room spinning.

‘Please stop,’ she thought desperately, ‘Please just make it stop.’

She bent forward and put her head between her knees. Her eyes where shut and she could hear a sharp pitch ringing in her ears right over the beat her heart was playing for her veins.