CHAPTER ONE-> RESURRECTION

So you made it past the introduction.  I’m impressed.  Since you are here,  you might as well take a seat. This is the day He brought me back to life

HELL IS EMPTY

AND ALL THE DEVILS ARE HERE

- WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

It was a harsh stormy night, perfect weather for being dead. There I was resting in my grave peacefully, when some douche bags thought it would be a brilliant idea to come rob me.

Maybe because I died a rich man they thought my riches were buried with me, but just like Saint Mathew said,  “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon Earth,  where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.”

I bet these idiots don’t read shit.

Funny enough neither did I back then. 

After realizing this was an epic fail, they started arguing amongst themselves. Their bickering alerted the sexton who chased them away.

They left my coffin open exposing my elegant body to the rain and cold.

This was a defining moment for me. 

Just like Lazárus I came out of my grave but naked and disoriented with my dick out dangling.

I was butt naked walking in the rain, when the sexton saw me walking towards him, he flashed his flashlight on my face, he fainted upon recognizing me. 

I couldn’t blame him though. 

I left him on the ground and made my way to the church. The weather was so cold that I got frostbites and barely made it to the doors of the church where I fainted, knocking them wide open. 

Three days later I woke up,  clothed and feeling alive in a room that smelled heavily of antiseptic. Next to me was a tray of freshly baked bread.  Without waiting for some kind of invitation, I ate it all in a flash

“Did you enjoy it? “ came the voice of a nun who from the look of things has been sitting in the room watching me eat like an animal. I nodded then went on to ask her where I was and how I got here. 

Truthfully the only thing I remembered was my name and that I have a family – well had. 

She answered with a calm soothing voice. 

“You are in St Claire’s Parish.” Her voice was that of a chorister of the Heavenly sort. I was sorely tempted to ask her to sing a verse of Amazing Grace for me. 

She came close to me and her scent breached my nostrils. Her scent was that of a beautiful garden with varieties of rose flowers. She smelled nice to say the least. 

Her voice and scent gave me an erection before I knew it. At least my down part is in good condition. 

“Who are you?” I asked her

“My name is Sister Alexandra. Is there anything you remember about yourself?” she asked me while placing her soft palms on my hand

“My name is Mason Woods.  How long have I been here? “

“You’ve been here for three days,  Mr Woods”

“Does my wife know I’m here? She will kill me.  I need to go home.  Fuck I missed my daughter’s birthday.  I need to apologize to her and possibly make it up to her. “ I spoke in rapid fire

“Calm down.  Your body is still too weak to move.  She placed her hand on me to stop me from getting out of bed.

“How did I get here? “

“We found you unconscious at the door of the church.  You should rest.  I will come back to answer the rest of your questions. “

                                              x x x x x x

She left the room and went straight to the Father’s chambers to give a report.  She knocked on the door and was ushered inside. 

“How are you Sister Alexandra?"

“I am fine,  Father. I hope you are in good health?"

“The Lord is good”

“All the time” she responded. 

“To what do I owe this visit? “

“Mason Woods. He’s awake”

“That’s brilliant. Is there anything he remember? “

“He knows his name but he still think his family is alive.  Apparently, he has no memory of their death. He is supposed to be dead. We conducted his and his family’s requiem. 

“John eleven verse one to forty-four, Sister Alexandra​.  Have you no faith that He has done it again? The miracle lays there. The miracle you are taking care of. Where is your faith? “

“I’m sorry Father.  Should I tell him about his family?"

“I will do that when I see him in the afternoon. Go and pray for forgiveness Sister Alexandra.”

                                               x x x x x x

I was dreaming about the morning before the accident. 

"Happy birthday sweetie. Daddy loves you so much." I said

"Thank you Daddy. I hope you will come back early for my birthday party?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for anything in this world. Come on give me a kiss. Muah!"

"Hey, stop kissing my husband" my wife joked.

They laughed...

“And you need to be out of this house. You got a meeting remember​?" She reminded me

"I love you Daddy."

"I love you more cupcake"

"Come on, let me walk you to the car" my wife offered.

Standing at the car, she wrapped her arms round my neck. She kissed me softly on the lips. Who knew that was the last day I will ever kiss her?

"Thanks baby for staying back from work to throw a party for Leslie" I said.

"Bitch shut the fuck up and get going."

Man I loved it when she cussed.

"If this meeting works out, our net worth will be bigger than the president's" she said

"We are already multimillionaires, baby."

"So what? Because we are good today, we should stop working for tomorrow? No sex."

" What?"

"If you don't pull this off, forget about having sex with me. I will get myself a fucking vibrator"

I narrowed my eyes and stared her down.

"You wouldn't."

"You wanna take that chance?"

"No ma'am."

"Good boy. Now get your stupid ass in the car and get outta here."

                               

                                       x x x x x x x

“Hello Mr Woods. “

My eyes open to a man wearing long white veil with button closure and long sleeves, probably a Reverend Father

“Hi Reverend Father… “

“George. Call me Father George. “

“Nice to meet you Father George. ”

“The pleasure is all mine. You have met Sister Alexandra​, yes? “

“Yeah. She’s very pretty. “

“Yes, she is.”

“Careful there Father before you break some rules. ”

“I’m glad you are in a good mood. You mentioned a name in your sleep Victoria was it? I assume you were having a dream about her.”

“Yes. She is my wife. Has anyone called her to come pick me yet? “

“No.”

“Why not? “

He took a deep breath before he answered 

“Mr Woods your wife is dead…”

He paused

“What do you mean my wife is dead? “

“You and your family had an accident and your wife and kids died on the spot. You died on your way to the hospital. You’ve been dead for three months. “

“What sort of prank is this? If I’m dead, how are you still talking with me? “

“He brought you back"

“He as in God?" I burst out laughing but that ended when he retrieved and handed over an old newspaper with the Headline ‘The Woods Family Dead In Car Accident. ‘

The first paragraph ‘Today marks a tragedy as multimillionaire philanthropist Mason Woods and family died in a motor accident… ‘

My whole world come crushing down.  I felt lost.  I wished this to be a prank or some stupid dream but then flashback of the accident came to my head all at once giving me a massive headache.  I passed out. 

 *****

So that’s it.  The beginning of my weird story.  I hope to see you during the next confession

Author's Note: First chapter done and dusted. What do y'all think? 

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