Twist

The shame I felt as I sneaked out of the penthouse was palpable. It crawled into my skin, creeping up to my face.

I’m a grown woman who can’t get ahold of her urges. How pathetic is that?

If I’m going to let go of everything, I need a plan.

I can’t feel anything anymore. The craving for booze and pills waned but my sexual appetite reached another level. A scary one because I only felt that. Other than lust, carnal and primal at its core, I felt nothing else.

I need to feel something else. Something better.

I need to fix myself.

I don’t want to use Austin like that. Not anymore. We enjoyed it, oh god we did. But enough is enough. I respect the man and I don’t want to just use his body. Our relationship is worth more than that.

His face this morning was the thing that propelled me to get up. There’s nothing more motivating than self-loathing. The shame, the complete humiliation of watching his gorgeous face as he realized I’d hit rock bottom, that’s something else.

It made me get