登入My advice is always ruin the friendship better than regret it for all time.Taylor Swift said that in her song like it’s the easiest thing in the world.It’s not.I can’t do that.I won’t.I’m tempted to. God, I’m tempted to throw every professional boundary we agreed on straight out the window and just not care about the consequences for once. But I can’t. I know I can’t.He is not making it easy though.River sits across from me, completely unbothered, completely unaware of the internal war happening on my side of this table. His eyes are low and focused on the test paper I gave him earlier. One hand props up his jaw. The other moves his pen slowly across the page. I bite my bottom lip. My eyes travel against my better judgment from his rolled up sleeves, to his half-unbuttoned shirt, to his gorgeous hair falling just slightly out of place.Stop loo
After our emotional talk, Cortney decided we needed air.There was no ice cream left in the fridge, so we walked to the supermarket that is just a few minutes from the Dawson mansion, picked up a cup each, and grabbed a few more to store for later.I feel a quiet sadness knowing I didn’t get to see River. Didn’t even get a minute to slip away and check on him. But I wouldn’t bring it up. I couldn’t. Not without Cortney’s eyes narrowing in that way they do when she’s piecing something together.So I keep it where it belongs — tucked away, in my secretive mind.Cortney inhales the evening air as we step out of the supermarket, her cup of ice cream in one hand, her face tipped slightly upward. “I missed this,” she says. Then she turns to me. “And I cannot wait for midterm break.”“That’s still a few weeks away, Cort. Tests are next week. Exams are two weeks after that. Before we know it—”She links her hand through mine and throws her free arm into the air. “Midterm break!” she squeaks.
Maybe my mind made a very rash decision when I decided to speak out and object Sasha’s offer in front of everyone.Our little pretend friendship has been peaceful and good so far. But Sasha will always be Sasha — controlling, arrogant, beaming with pride. And if I hadn’t done it today, the day would have definitely ended with me joining her squad. Becoming part of her minions. Losing whatever little ground I’ve managed to stand on.I shake my head at the thought as Cleo drives us home. Imagine having to dye my hair blonde or red and doing Sasha’s bidding. Imagine that being my life.A quiet sigh pulls me out of my thoughts. I turn my head.Cleo’s eyes are still on the road. “I wish we could have stayed.” Her voice is soft. Not accusatory, just honest. “I wanted to see what games would come next. It would have been so much fun to be on Sasha’s Instagram.” She glances at me briefly before her eyes return to the road. “But I’m very proud of you for standing up to her. That takes real bal
The door to Sasha’s closet is already open from the girls before me, and I step inside and stop.It’s enormous.Racks and racks of pink — every shade imaginable. Blush. Fuchsia. Dusty rose. Hot pink. Barely-there pink that almost looks white. The shoes are arranged on shelves along the far wall, lined up like a display. Bags hang from hooks. Jewelry sits under a glass case near the vanity mirror. I think she just set this up because of girls time. I stand in the middle of it and feel completely lost.My eyes move across the racks. I pull out a structured blazer, but it’s too similar to Pristina’s. I push it back. I find a ruffled midi skirt, but it has too much volume. I find a sequined mini dress and immediately put it backI pull out a slip dress and pause.What would Cortney pick?The thought lands quietly and stays there. I look around the closet again, but this time with different eyes. Cortney doesn’t chase trends like Sasha. She doesn’t pile things on. She finds the thing tha
Seven minutes ago, Sasha started the first activity.The rules were simple — and I say simple loosely, because nothing about this felt simple when she announced it.Go into my closet. Pick anything pink. Style it. Jewelry allowed. Belts allowed. Boots, heels, bags — all fair game. Then walk back out and own it.The girls had screamed like she just announced a giveaway.I had blinked.Cleo had grabbed my arm so hard I felt it in my bones.Now in the living room, everyone had taken their spot. Some girls sunk into the plush pink couches, legs crossed, drinks in hand. Others settled on the floor like it’s the most genuine thing, which, in a house like this, maybe it is. A few leaned against the window ledge, the afternoon light catching the shimmer of their outfits.Pristina drags one of the dining chairs from across the room and positions it a little further from everyone else. Like she needs distance to properly observe. Or maybe she just doesn’t want to be touched.I get that. She is
*** ~~~CHANCÉ~~~ *** Saturday finally came. I've been dreading it because of Sasha's party. I've been expecting calls or texts about cancellations—but none came. Only a reminder from the stupid group chat she added me to. I walk back into my room after breakfast with my mom. Dad left for work early and slipped me some cash—"for fun," he said, while I'm at Sasha's. I lied about who she was. If I told them the truth, they'd start lecturing me about how deceptive rich people can be. Well. Cortney is the exception. She's the only rich girl my mother can vouch for. I guess because she's a fan of Cortney's mother. Anyway, I pick up my phone and call her—a reminder about the party. I really need my guardian angel with me if I want to survive at Sasha's. It dials once. Twice. On the third ring—right as I'm about to cut the call—it picks up. Cortney's voice comes through. Tired. Maybe sleepy. Maybe my call woke her up. "Hey, Chancé." "Uh… still sleeping?" "Actually, no." "Shocking.
Ricky loves attention. No—he is attention.There’s something about him. An aura that pulls people in without effort. Everywhere he goes, people notice him. He’s the complete opposite of me.Bright. Dirty blond hair. Always laughing. Always surrounded by people—especially girls. He feeds off it. Liv
***~~~ RIVER~~~***I notice her. I’ve always noticed her, and Chan has always been… naive. Quiet. Too soft for someone like me.I’ve been watching her for four years. Even before all these forbidden escapades. Before the lake. Before she saved my life.My jaw tightens slightly at the memory. If s
I feel used. Completely used. That’s been the way I’ve felt since the first time River came into my room. He didn’t even acknowledge it before he just took what he wanted.There was one thing I thought would change. I thought if I let him have my body, my virginity, he would like me back, but I gue
I toss and turn until I finally stop. With my hand on my stomach, I stare at the ceiling, letting out a long breath. Cortney dropped me home thirty minutes ago, and River hasn’t shown up yet.Maybe it is for the best.I sigh, running my hand through my hair.What exactly am I doing? I know he will







