We Need To Talk

I feel used. Completely used. That’s been the way I’ve felt since the first time River came into my room. He didn’t even acknowledge it before he just took what he wanted.

There was one thing I thought would change. I thought if I let him have my body, my virginity, he would like me back, but I guess not. I had tried to be what he wanted. Tried to watch p**n in order to perform well for him but still the same result. We have fucked 14 times in the last three months of starting this forbidden thing, and each time, he always leaves immediately after sex. At least on Saturday he said good job, and I received a kiss on my forehead. I guess I satisfied him this time.

But he hasn’t reached out.

I’ve checked my phone for the hundredth time—still no messages, no calls.

My eyes land on my last message to him after I cried.

Did you get home safe?

Delivered. Three days ago.

My stomach twists every time I see it sitting there unanswered.

My fingers hover over the keyboard. Maybe I should text again.

Are you busy?

I stare at the words for a moment before quickly deleting them.

God. That sounds desperate.

I type again. Did I do something wrong?

My thumb hovers over the send button.

No. Delete.

I toss the phone onto the bed and press my hands to my face. Why am I acting like this? He already told me what this was. No labels. No drama.

Still… my hand reaches for the phone again.

Just one more message.

Are we still meeting again?

The words sit there for a long moment before my chest tightens.

Delete.

The message box is empty again. Just like the rest of our conversation.

With a sigh, I lock my phone and push my glasses up, straightening my uniform before turning away from the mirror. Then I leave my room.

“Good morning, Mom.” I rush toward the door. Breakfast is already set, but I can’t eat. Cortney is waiting a little ways down the street to drive me to school since I missed the bus.

“No breakfast?” Mom calls after me.

I pause, meeting her gaze. Her face… it’s full of hope and care. I know she was happy to cook, especially since I skipped dinner last night too.

“Cortney’s waiting. I’m sorry,” I say softly.

“Is everything alright? You can talk to your sister if you don’t want to talk to me.”

My phone buzzes. I look down at it. Cortney texts, asking where I am.

I look back at Mom. “I’m fine. I’ll see you later.” Before she can reply, I slip out the door.

I sprint through the neighborhood, even taking a shortcut. I only stop when I see Cortney’s car. I catch my breath then she lifts her shades and unlock the door.

Cortney doesn’t mind picking me up right at the door, but I don’t want Mom or the neighbors hovering—she’s Alice and Drake Dawson’s daughter, after all.

She looks at me when I climb in. “Are you okay?” she asks.

I glance at her, surprised. “Why do you ask? I’m perfectly fine.” I shrug.

She points to my glasses. “Your eyes… they look swollen. Did you cry?”

I force my gaze to the road. “No. I just didn’t sleep enough.”

She laughs. “We had the whole Sunday to do nothing, and you didn’t sleep? Were you up texting a boy or something?”

“Of course not!” I snap, then see the look on her face and soften. “I mean… no boy. I didn’t sleep because my sister and her kids were around, so…”

Guilt twists in my chest. If only she knows I am like this because of River. My heart aches, sitting here and lying to my best friend’s face.

Cortney changes the subject. “Let’s grab breakfast first, then head to school.” She pulls into the road.

During the drive, I check my phone more than five times.

Still nothing from River.

~~~

“We’re back in time for first period,” Cortney says as she pulls into the school parking lot.

We ate at one of the restaurants her mom reserved for her. It was supposed to be a family breakfast, but they called to say they couldn’t make it because of an emergency. They always seem to have those.

I can tell Cort is upset, even though she hides it well. River didn’t show up either. So we both ate the food, and I even took pictures for my private I*******m account.

As we approach our lockers—right beside each other—we hear Cortney’s name being yelled from down the hallway. We both stop and look at each other. I’m shocked. Cortney hates attention, hates drama. So why does this feel like trouble is coming straight for her?

We wait until the girl finally comes into view.

My stomach drops. It’s the girl River was kissing in the locker room Saturday night. Hazel.

I could never forget her face. I even cursed her before I went to bed after I cried.

My fists clench, but I force myself to keep the anger inside.

She’s walking toward us quickly, fury written all over her face. Two girls follow behind her. Then she stops. Her eyes meet mine for a second. She looks away just as quickly and focuses on Cortney instead.

“How dare you?” she yells.

I stand there, stunned. Curious.

Cortney folds her arms. “What do you want? You know I don’t like attention on me.”

Hazel suddenly shoves her against the locker, pressing her elbow against Cortney’s chest. “Then you shouldn’t have done what you did.”

Cortney’s face shows the same confusion I feel. Why would Hazel think Cortney caused a problem? She’s the last person who looks for trouble.

Hazel leans closer, her voice sharp with anger. “My daddy saw the picture you sent.”

Cortney finally pushes Hazel’s hand away. “What are you talking about? I didn’t send any pictures.” She adjusts her uniform.

A crowd has already started forming around us. I can hear whispers spreading through the hallway.

I want to shove Hazel away from Cort, but her two minions step in front of me like they’re ready to fight if I interfere. And I can’t fight. I’m as fragile as I look.

“You and your little minion were the only ones who saw River and me making out in the locker room,” Hazel whispers, careful not to let the others hear.

“I did no such thing.” Cortney takes her books, slams her locker shut, and looks at me. “Let’s go to class, Chancé.”

She’s about to walk away when Hazel suddenly grabs her by the hair and shoves her back into the locker. Cortney’s books scatter across the floor.

“What the hell?” Cortney snaps.

“You’re out to get me, aren’t you? Because of what happened between River and me?” Hazel hisses. “Get over it, Cortney! The world doesn’t revolve around you!”

The way Hazel talks to her makes me curious about what really happened between them.

Were they once friends? Cortney has never told me about any old friends. And of course River was the cause.

I roll my eyes.

Cortney bends down to pick up her books, and I crouch beside her to help. When she stands again, she looks straight at Hazel. “I’ve stayed away from your life for years now. You and Rue. Don’t you think it’s time you stayed out of mine too?” She steps forward, then adds sharply, “And stay away from my brother.”

She pauses.

“And I didn’t send the picture,” she says coldly. “I don’t care enough about you to get involved in your life anymore.”

Then she pushes through the crowd. I hurry after her. “Cortney, wait!”

She slows down and turns to me. “I know you’re confused. Hazel and I go way back.”

“That explains the yelling in the locker room.”

She sighs. “You don’t understand. Hazel was my best friend. She and Rue. Until I found out they’d been sleeping with my twin brother.”

My heart jumps.

“They hid it from me and still smiled to my face. I hate them so much.”

My heart is pounding loudly in my chest as I take a big gulp.

“River always takes everything from me,” she continues bitterly. “He took them too. That’s why I didn’t want you getting involved with him.” She looks at me seriously. “I wanted to believe there was at least one girl who was immune to his charm.” She smiles faintly. “And I’m glad it’s you, Chancé.”

I stagger slightly, but I’m careful not to let her see. Shock rushes through my entire body, but I force myself to keep the expression on my face believable.

Cortney will hate me too if she ever finds out River has access to me too.

“Cortney!”

My heart leaps at the voice. We both turn. It’s River Dawson.

He’s walking toward us in his hockey uniform. Normally he would greet me with a casual Hey, Chan. But this time he doesn’t even glance my way. It’s like I’m not even standing there.

Like I’m invisible.

My chest tightens at the realization.

He stops in front of Cortney.

“We need to talk,” he says, his brows drawn into a frown. “Now.”

My stomach twists. Did he come all the way here because of Hazel?