Chapter 7

Veyra’s POV

Valen slams the door shut like he is channeling all hos anger to destroying my property and the building vibrates in response because of the force- pans rattling and whatnot.

Now that Valen has slammed the door shut on I and Alex, the chaos is over. The earlier commotion is replaced by silence as heavy as a wet thick blanket. Alex does not say anything. He doesn’t even look at me. I guess he is avoiding looking at my face because he is angry. I can see it in the way that he is panting, his chest is rising and falling like an animal after a fight. Blood drips steadily like it is coming from a small pipe in his hands. That is the place in his palm where Valen's claws caught him, but he doesn't seem to notice.

I watch him in an awkward silence as he walks to the small metallic sink at the corner behind me and turns on the tap so that cold water would run over the wound. The sound of water rushing is the only sound in the pantry. He stays at the sink for long, almost way too long for a wash. I want to help him- like I would normally- But everything is just awkward now. The adrenaline pump that I had felt before is starting to feed. Now I'm shaking. What have I done? I should not have displayed this kind of behavior. What was I thinking last night? Sex with Alpha Theo was damn good, but to what end? Grief has driven me to the brink of madness. What I said to Valen. What I admitted to Alex. I threw all that graphic details at Valen like missiles during a war, forgetting that Alex was also in the room

Oh dear moon goddess. What demon possessed me to turn against my own morals?

I instinctively wrap my arms around myself as if trying to mimic the way that shame has wrapped itself around me like an old blanket. I feel like an old cardigan, discarded under the bed for mold to breed on. I feel disgusted at myself. I feel like a loser. My body shakes as I go through different types of emotions. I try to stop how my body shakes, but it only gets worse. I no longer feel as powerful and pumped as I felt moments ago. How could I have exposed myself this way? It feels like I'm standing naked in front of my brother who raised me

Alex finishes cleaning his wound, covers it up and turns to face me. I gotta see how dark his eyes have gotten. I can see that he is trying to process everything that he has just heard. Valen's accusations, how I didn’t deny- instead, I stood proud and admitted everything. This is the ugly truth of what his little sister has become. If anything, Valen was right about how I am not so precious anymore

I open my mouth to speak. I don’t know what I am going to say, but I need to say something. I probably need to apologize or explain something. but as soon as I even breathe in to speak, he cuts me short with a raised hand.

"Why didn't you come to me first?" his voice goes soft. Not the kind of softness it assumes when there is a raging storm beneath him, but the kind that shows how vulnerable he is becoming. It is at this moment that I see his anger turn to heartbreak "After what happened at the party, after you were betrayed and humiliated before the pack by your best friend and lover, I said I wanted to be with you. Why did you reject my offer?”

The pain That I see in his eyes would not even let me answer the question. I feel so bad. I have failed him. Alex has always taught me to think before acting, but I last night and even moments ago with Valen, I did not think- I just jumped into action like a fish jumping into water, because it is deprived of oxygen

"When I told you to come home last night, you refused. Was that why you refused?” he asks. I gotta see how difficult it is for him to ask me these questions, but he needs to. “To get revenge on Valen by sleeping with his father? Is that what this was about?"

I wish it was not all about revenge. I wish it was something more. Probably if I and the Alpha were in love, Alex might have taken the news better

“Alpha Theo is notorious for sleeping around. Everybody knows that. You know that. And yet you went to sleep with him? Did you use protection?

"Alex…” this single word tells him all that he needs to know. I didn’t use any protection whatsoever

"I thought you were better than this," he says and I can feel his heart breaking. “Have you ever been listening to me all these years,” he says again, and those words destroy me completely. "I thought I raised you to be better than this. We have handled pain far worse than this. When mum and dad died, did I teach you to give yourself away?”

Before I can even say anything, hot and unstoppable tears fill my eyes. I think I am such a disappointment. How can I disappoint the only person in this world that loves me unconditionally. He has taught me so quickly as I barely listened

"I think I made the biggest mistake of my life," I whisper, my tears flowing like a broken dam

My tears make Alex soften. Whenever I am sad, my brother is sad too. It doesn’t matter what I did, or who is at fault he would always go to console me. And that is what he does now, because in two steps Alex is in front of me and as if I have been expecting him to come for me, I collapse against his chest, immediately crying, mucous drooling from my nose, But I don’t care as long as Alex wraps his big hands tightly around me to console me

"I'm sorry," I cry, soiling his shirt with mucus and tears. "I'm so sorry, Alex. I don't know why I… I you should not have…”

"Shh," he murmurs, his hand patting my back in that familiar way of his. "It's okay. "

“I am sorry,” I cry harder. I hate The fact that I have disappointed my brother this way. He is a father figure in my life, and I feel like I have failed him.

"There were a million ways to handle what happened last night. What you did was wrong," Alex says quietly- trust him to chide me no matter what. "But people make mistakes. Even the biggest kings fail. I still love you no matter what.”

I cry harder at his words, because I don't deserve this kind of love or forgiveness after everything I have done. What I have done to him it’s more like an abomination. He works closely with the alpha. How would he be able to bear this moving forward?

"I had instincts about Valen," he continues, still holding me close. "I never liked that boy. He always behaved like a spoiled brat. He never really put people first. He was always selfish and greedy. He is not a true leader and I was sure that he was not going to be a good husband to you. When I tried to tell you, you never really listened so I let you be. I didn’t want to be the older brother that ruins your love life. You seemed to be happy with him, so I let you be. Truthfully, I am relieved that the both of you have broken things off.”

"You should have ruined it all," I sob.

"No," he says firmly. "You needed to learn on your own. I just wish..." He sighs heavily. "I wish you hadn't learned it this way."

I pull back to look at him, my face streaked with tears and snot and complete misery. "Gina saw me, and she'll tell everyone. They'll think I'm a… a whore!"

"Don't," Alex says sharply. "Don't you dare call yourself what Valen called you. You made a mistake. A big one, but that is all it is. As long as it doesn’t happen again”

I want to believe him, but I feel so much shame and I feel stupid. Which is enough that Valen picked Gina over me in front of the whole pack members, now this? The whispers from last night has not does down and soon another one would be formed

"Alex," I say. I need to tell him this thing that is eating me up inside. “I need to tell you something”

He tenses slightly , "What?"

I dread what I am going to say, but I say it anyway

"I might be pregnant."

The words fall between us like stones dropping into still water. Alex goes completely still, his hands frozen on my back.

"What?"

“I don’t know who the father is,” I add like salt to injury. It could be Valen or Alpha Theo”