Chapter 40: Tangled Feelings

Chapter 40

Leah's P.O.V 

I closed my eyes, waiting for her attack to land. An inexplicable dryness clawed at my throat. I didn't know if I was crying or not, but I didn't feel anything else until the doorbell rang.

I opened my eyes, only to find myself sitting on the couch. My book was resting on my stomach, and I was lying in an uncomfortable position.

Was that… a dream? 

It felt so… real.

I touched my stomach, and that feeling of being stabbed still lingered. Even my throat was sore. I placed my hand behind my neck to massage it, then rubbed my throat.

“Ding dong!”

The doorbell rang again. I had almost forgotten the sound that had woken me up from that nightmare.

Then I remembered…

The doorbell had rung, Nora came in and pulled out a knife from the delivery package...

"Ding dong!"

The doorbell rang again.

I pushed myself up and noticed that my legs were weak.

That strange feeling still curled in my stomach as I reached for the door handle. The delivery guy slowly came into view, and the slight smile on his face made me even more uncomfortable. Night had covered the sky, and it had me wondering exactly how many hours I had been trapped in that dream.

The image of Nora smiling in my dream flashed through my mind, and for a moment, I felt like I had been pulled back into the nightmare once again.

"I brought your package... and a surprise," he said, the smile still etched on his lips.

Hearing this, I felt my palms turn damp with cold sweat.

"Miss? Miss!"

The delivery guy's voice pulled me back to reality, and I realized I had been in a trance, daydreaming.

"W-What did you say?" I stuttered.

"Your food delivery has arrived," he said.

I was staring at him, but I wasn't actually seeing him. I was seeing Nora.

“I brought your order,” he said.

"I don't want it," I said, and Nora frowned slightly.

"Miss… Are you alright?"

I blinked and it was the delivery guy standing in front of me again. One more second outside, and I'd go crazy!

"You can have it," I said, then shut the door.

I paused, resting my back against the door, trying to calm my racing heart.

“It was just a dream. It's not real,” I chanted repeatedly.

The night was long and the same time, short. I couldn't get a proper sleepand before I knew it, it was morning.

I decided to wear light makeup today. Staring at my reflection in the mirror after finishing my makeup, I remembered when Nora and I would stare at our reflections together. 

I paused. I was alone in the room, but I was seeing two reflections. “You look ugly,” Nora said with a frown.

I blinked and snapped my neck to the side. I almost thought she was really here.

The beep of my phone brought me out of my small trance world. I picked it up and saw the messages from the class group chat.

“Today's the first exam we're writing in the university. I'm thrilled!”

“What's thrilling about exams?”

“Yeah I hate exams.”

Messages kept coming, and they were all passing the same meaning — some being excited about the exams, and others, not.

I fixed my hair once more before picking up my bag and heading to school, and the exam finished for the day very quickly. I didn't wait around to have fun and went home immediately.

Nora and I were like strangers today. I didn't approach her, and neither did she. My reason was because my nightmare was still as clear as day in my memory, and I guess her reason was just guilty conscience.

In the blink of an eye, it was already Thursday. I noticed that my sore throat had healed completely today. I had spent the last few days replaying that nightmare in my head, even when I was in school. And I hurried home after every exam, just like I was doing now.

“Hey!” someone tapped my shoulder. 

I flinched from the sudden touch, and turned around instinctively. I was heading home, but hadn't left the school premises. I turned and saw that it was Nathan.

"What's up?" he asked. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” he added.

We had just finished an exam for a joint course, so we were able to come across each other without the other being in a haste.

"Hi," I said. What was he here for? Did Nora send him to speak up for her?

"You haven't been responding to my messages or calls. I wanted to apologize for the other day," he said.

I remained silent and stared at him with an expression that said, ‘Go on.’

"I totally understand your perspective. I shouldn't have spoken to you that way. Nora is my sister and I naturally had to stand up for her, even when she was wrong,” he said.

Now I'm confused. Was he apologizing, or intentionally making me feel guilty? 

‘You should understand that I would support my sister even if she was wrong, so don't overreact next time.’ That's what he meant, even if he didn't say it outright.

"I'm sorry for overreacting," I also apologized.

"I understand. You didn't overreact. Nora and I deserved it."

"Okay...?" This was getting awkward. I didn't know what else to say. 

"Can we hang out later?" he said.

"Um... I have exams tomorrow," I said.

"Then.... how about we go out now? We'll return early, so you can have time to study," he said.

I had no reason to refuse, and besides, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. 

“Alright,” I nodded.

“Let me help you,” he said, taking my bag and holding my hand.

I wanted to withdraw my hand, but on second thought, what kind of girlfriend stays angry at her boyfriend because he was protecting his sister? I'd do the same if I were in his shoes.

— — —

I had planned to return home early, but we went to the library and spent a long time there. 

When I arrived home, it was already past 8. I unlocked the door and entering the living room, I saw Sky sitting on the couch. 

"Sky," I called with a smile on my face as I approached him.

He stared at me coldly, and I couldn't help but wonder. 

"What's with that look?" I asked.

"Why are you just returning now?" he asked.

"I went to the Library to read," I said.

"Library?" he scoffed. "Then who did I see holding hands with Nathan today? You went out with him and you're lying to me that you went to the Library?"

"I really went to the Library. What's wrong with you today?" I asked, already getting pissed. I didn't like it when someone accused me of lying.

I didn't want to argue with him, so I turned around to retire to my room. However, before I could take two steps away from him, he pulled me by my hand, forcing me to face him.

“I hate seeing the two of you together. I already broke up with Nora. Why don't you do the same?" he said harshly, his grip on my hand tightening.

"Then that's your problem! So what? Do you expect me to break up for no reason?" I said, my tone higher than I'd intended.

His grip on me loosened, and he stared at me blankly.

“I don't care. Deal with it,” he said coldly with that icy stare that screamed ‘bow at my feet’. 

And… my resolve snapped. “Why are you always commanding?” I yelled. 

I hate this version of him to the core. One minute he acts like he cares, and the other he just wants control.

He remained silent, and it angered me even more. “Listen,” I pointed a finger. “I'm not that little highschool girl you can control at will, and I'll do as I please!”

Sky's P.O.V

“You!” I wanted to speak, but stopped. I was speechless, and didn't know the exact words to say.

Who gave her the idea that I was trying to control her? And what did she mean by doing as she pleased?

“Say whatever you want, I still won't break up with him,” she said.

My heart stung as I heard her say that. I had broken up with Nora, primarily because I didn't want to upset Leah. But why wouldn't she do the same?

Leah's P.O.V

"Don't we mean anything to you?" he asked.

"There's no 'we'! We were a mistake, and we always will be. We're step siblings for heaven's sake!" I said without thinking.

I was still confused about our relationship, and didn't want to think about it. Why was he bringing this up now?

"You don't mean that," he said softly, and for the first time, I was able to read his expression. It made me question if he was really playing around with me as I'd thought from the beginning.

"And what if I did?" I said, my eyes stinging like tears were forming, but I held them back.

I didn't expect us to argue today. This argument made me remember what we really were, and I was angry. Angry at myself. I saw the hurt in his eyes, and It made the guilt claw at my chest even harder.

"What else could we be if not a mistake? It was just an accidental one night stand. Step siblings shouldn't destroy their parents union, or bring them bad name. What do you think people will say if word got out?"

"I—" he wanted to speak, but I continued before he could say another word.

"Step siblings shouldn't have romantic feelings for the other..." my voice cracked at the end to my statement, and the tears I was trying to hold back rolled down my cheeks.

Why was I so unlucky? Why was my first love my step sibling? Why can't I have this feeling for Nathan instead?

"Don't be like this, Leah," he said, taking a step forward, and I took a step back. 

We can't continue like this… I had to put an end to this before we got to a point beyond redemption.

“We have to stop this,” I muttered, loud enough for him to hear.

“Leah, we can discuss—”

“There's nothing to discuss,” I said, cutting him off. “Just… leave me alone,” I said, turning away from him.

“Leah…”

“Get out!” I yelled, pointing at the door.