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Playlist
A list of songs that go through my head when writing this book
Dandelions by Ruth BWhat do you mean by Justin BeiberCan you hold me by NF ft Britt NicoleTime by NFThat way by Tate McRaeSix feet under by Billie EillishHurt you by The weekend ft GesaffelsteinI hate you, I love you by Olivia O’Brien ft GnashEuphoria by Jungkook of BTSLove song by Rihanna ft FutureWe don’t talk anymore by Charlie Puth ft Selena GomezWait by NFMinefields by John LegendMake it right by BTS ft LauvStitches by Shawn MendesHollow by Victor RayRelated chapters
DAMAGED CHAPTER ONE: ELICIA
Class of 2015 (July 16)We threw our red caps in the air celebrating the end our high school years.“Happy end of high school babe.” My boyfriend, Jason said kissing the top of my head as we walked out of the gymnasium.“Oh please, go do your PDA somewhere else,” Jeremy spoke as he took me out of Jason’s grasp. Jeremy, Jer for short was my best friend since I could remember. “We should go to the after party,” Madison, my girl best friend said as she removed her gown. “Dinner reservations with mom and dad.” I say looking towards Jer, my best friend to back me up since I did not want to look like I was ditching some quality time with my friends.“Yeah, dinner. I almost forgot.” Jer said and I mentally facepalmed myself for Jer’s awkward back up.“You guys could join if you want, I will just text mom. “No, it’s fine. I could use the alcohol.” Maddie says looking at Jason.“Jace, are you coming?” I ask my boyfriend.“I promised the boys that I would be there with you but since you aren’
DAMAGED CHAPTER TWO: ELICIA
Day of the accident (27 July) “Hey mom, is El ready?” Jer asked mom as he took a seat near the island in our kitchen. Jer came to take me out to a party of a friend of his. “I think so, she was looking for her purse a few minutes ago.” my mom replies as she tosses an apple to Jer. “I swear you are growing taller by the day.” Mom says standing on her tip toes ruffling his hair. I walk into the kitchen in my black skinny jeans and a plain white tee paired with white Nike snickers. “You could have at least tried to look nice,” Jer says and I hit his head with my purse. “Ow, that hurts you. Dweeb!!!” he says scratching his head. “Serves you right.” I say and mom just laughs it off and kisses both of us goodbye. “Make sure you guys are home by midnight.” “Yes, mom.” Jer says saluting mom. “And make sure you drag El everywhere you go, she tends to be a loner at times.” my mom says whispering a bit at the end. “MOM!!!!!!” I say rolling my eyes. “Can you drive, I feel so out of it
DAMAGED CHAPTER THREE: ELICIA
I wonder if anyone knows that the end of a car accident is the beginning of hell, recovery and endless pain.Yet the road remains the same and people continue driving through it.Apparently a month and two weeks later, the mid September; the month I was supposed to be at UCLA (University of California and Los Angeles) with Jeremy I was seated in front of a woman named Lydia. Late thirties, slim, dirty blond hair and very beautiful. She had a welcoming aura around her at all times and she tried her best to get me to talk but she failed dismally for the past two weeks. Not that I did not want to talk because I wanted to but I could not.I do not know what was happening to me it was as if I had lost the ability to produce sound. “Your mom said you had a nightmare yesterday, what was it about?” “Did you have a dream about Jeremy?” She asks and I winced at the mention of Jeremy's name. It’s still difficult to believe that he was gone.“El, talk to me.” I just stare at her and she si
DAMAGED CHAPTER FOUR: ELICIA
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••Journal entry 101 You showed up again today. The usual routine you climb up the stairs of the same unfinished building that is right across our house and you sit on the edge of the building.I get to see you every day for an hour and a half before you take off in your black Jeep.Most times you just sit and stare into space, thinking I guess.Sometimes you come to dress your wounds, and l wonder what causes them.They are not just minor wounds, they look deep and you wince every time you dress them.Who causes them, do you get into fights? Are you one of those boys that parents tell their daughters to stay away from?This time it's not an arm wound, a head wound rather it's an abdominal wound. It looks deep and painful.You close your eyes in pain as you let the alcohol sink in to wash off the cut, avoiding infections as well. How come you are so good at dressing yourself, l know
DAMAGED CHAPTER FIVE: ELICIA
To pass the time before University as it was already October I decided to work at a nearby Café, Plaza Café; it was approximately 10 minutes from home and five minutes from my mom’s workplace Cedars Sinai Medical Centre.Sometimes my mom and her co-workers came to eat at the café. I started working at the Café to avoid staying at home alone it was becoming boring, worse without my best friend. Lydia recommended as it was something light, that would not trigger anything and she said and I quote ‘Keeping myself a bit occupied’.After Jace broke up with me I did not tell my mom because she would have ended up worrying about trivial things.I was surprised I handled the breakup well or maybe it was because I had already started noticing the distance Jace was keeping and braced myself. As l was driving home from work around 6 pm. l spotted rooftop from across the street holding a pink and purple heart-shaped balloon.A little girl probably around the age of 8 approached him with a huge c
DAMAGED CHAPTER SIX: ELICIA
I head home with a smile of victory and butterflies in my stomach.As soon as l got home, we made supper with mom and ate. “How was work?” she asked as we finished eating.“Work was okay, l came straight home after.” l said.“It usually takes 10 minutes but you took 25 today. Did you stop by somewhere?” she asks curious.“No l didn't l just came straight home.” Now that l think about it l spent more than 10 eavesdropping on his conversation, not that l heard anything.“Jason and Maddie came looking for you.” My mom informs me.“I told him not to come looking for me.” l say my voice distasteful.“You never told me what happened between you two. You and Jason were inseparable.”“l don't want to talk about it Ma.” l say and continue to eat.“How come Jason doesn’t come over anymore did you guys have a fight or something?” mom presses on.“Quit it ma, can't l have a quiet meal for once in my life? If you are not asking about my depression you are all into my business, just stop.” l say b
DAMAGED CHAPTER SEVEN: ELICIA
After he leaves the café, work goes as slow as it can get.Soon my shift is over and l head straight to Lydia’s office.“You look rather cheerful today, how about we unfold today’s events?” she asks.“I spoke to Rooftop!” I say more like yell in excitement.“Someone is excited.” She smiles and l smile as well.“This is progress, huh?” she adds.“I know right.” I say smiling to myself.“As much as l am glad seeing you happy I should not encourage this. It is good that you are speaking your mind now, being more open but investing your emotions into something or rather someone could bring you back to square one.” She says and stares at me intensely as if waiting for my reaction before she says something else.“Go on.” I urge her.“You seem to like this guy l can see that but it is not healthy. You don’t even know him well enough to feel anything for him. What if he wants nothing to do with you?”“Have you ever thought about that? This isn’t about you being involved with someone, you are
DAMAGED CHAPTER EIGHT: ELICIA
Today he was not treating any wounds, now that I think about it he had no scars when I saw him at the grocery store.His stepdad is no longer beating him up l guess or he is just on break from the beating or maybe the money he is sending is not short. As I am deep in thought l never noticed him looking in my direction.After winning my own battle in my mind I am brought back to reality to look at where he was sitting but my breath is caught in my mouth when I see him staring at me. I lose my balance and fall outside the window, lucky me the distance from my room to the ground is fair. I just scratch my knees and elbows but I do not even feel it because of the embarrassment I felt. I do not dare to go back to my room to check if he was still there instead I start watching TV eating my fudge cake and ice-cream.Embarrassment eating, if that's a thing.As I am eating I am interrupted by a knock on the door.I freeze afraid it was Treadway behind the door but to my disappointment it w
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