Chapter 3 — I Was Never Enough

Serena’s POV

I looked at Marcus, waiting for him to scold or correct her, but he didn’t do any of that.

Instead, he patted Lucy lightly on her head. “You should get some sleep. It's late already.”

“Oh, Dad!” Lucy dragged, but Marcus didn't give her room for complaints. He signalled one of the maids to take her to bed.

“Goodnight, Mom,” Lucy said, waving at Alicia.

My chest tightened.

I blinked several times just to make sure I didn't let the tears out, but they still came out anyways.

“It's late already; you should get going as well,” Marcus said to Alicia.

She nodded, giving him a light kiss on his cheek before heading out.

Marcus handed his bag and suit jacket to me as he walked past.

“Meet me in my study.”

That was all he said.

I knew it was time.

And for some reason, I wasn't as furious as I thought I would be when I first heard the news.

He didn't waste time; the moment I got into the study, he went straight to the point.

“As I have mentioned countless times before, I want us to have a son.” He started.

My heart was already banging so hard as I wished that what he had said over text was a lie.

‘Mom thinks it's best we get a surrogate if we're still considering getting a male child.’ The text read.

I was never considering that; this is all about you, Marcus.

“And since the doctor said you can no longer have children,” he continued. “I decided that Alicia would be our surrogate.”

The news felt as though a rock had been dropped in my chest.

I tried, but the tears pushed past my efforts and fell out anyway.

I shook my head in disapproval.

“Why does it have to be Alicia?”

“Can't it be someone else?” I questioned.

Marcus' expression turned cold.

"Oh, please, Serena. Can you stop overthinking things!" He snapped.

"Alicia and I have been over for a long time now. She's only here to be our surrogate. After I have my son, she's gone."

A dark chuckle escaped my lips. Followed by tears.

“Really?”

He didn't reply, just gave me a hard stare that was enough to weaken my knees.

“And have you ever thought about the reason why I'm unable to bear you another child? Did you ever bother to ask the doctor what is wrong with your wife?”

He paused for a moment, and in that moment I thought I saw something I had waited years to see.

Pity?

Realisation?

Care?

But every illusion in my head shattered the moment he opened his mouth.

“I don’t care what the reason is, Serena. All I know is that you failed in your responsibility as a wife, and now I have to cover for you.”

Those words broke something inside of me that I don't think could ever be fixed again.

I stared into those light grey eyes of his, and for the first time, I didn't see my husband. I didn't see Marcus Vale.

I saw a ruthless man without a heart and with no single empathy.

“Alicia never wanted to do this because she was worried about how badly it would hurt you. But here you are thinking for yourself and you alone.”

Of course, to everyone Alicia was the saint and I, Serena, am the devil myself.

“Haven’t you seen how sad and lonely Lucy is without siblings? Do you really want your daughter to grow up and hate you because you deprived her of a chance to have a sibling to keep her company and share her toys with?”

Lucy already hates me, so what's the need?

I can’t believe he's using Lucy to cover up for his infidelity.

Bravo Marcus.

In that moment, I found myself recalling every single moment since Alicia returned and how she took over my place at every family dinner. At every function. And basically everywhere.

At first, I fought back; I tried to retain my spot.

But soon enough, I came to understand that you don’t fight for a spot in the life of someone who could easily give that spot to anyone else.

For the first time in a long time, I stared Marcus in the eyes.

I took in his features.

Brown hair, light grey eyes, fair skin, and that strikingly handsome face of his.

​

The man I had fallen in love with.

​

My stomach clenched, but I let out a smile like something had finally clicked in my head.

“I understand everything now,” I muttered the words without humour.

“I’m sorry for being a selfish woman all these years.” My voice sounded hoarse.

His expression shifted from that controlled and authoritative look to a confused gaze.

I didn’t wait for him to say another word before slipping out of the room.

The moment the door shut, I rested against the nearest wall for support.

A cough escaped my lips.

I put my hand over my mouth as I coughed, and by the time I looked back down at my hands, I could see the thick coat of blood on my palm.

I looked up to make sure no one had seen that and quickly made my way into my room to wash it off.

As I stared at my reflection in the washroom mirror, I began to recall every word.

“You failed in your responsibility as a wife.”

“Alicia will be our surrogate.”

“Your daughter will hate you.”

“Mom wants us to get a surrogate.”

“Mom, Alicia, please can you be my real mummy?”

And suddenly, all I could hear was.

“I want Alicia!”

“I choose Alicia!”

“You will never be able to meet the standards Alicia has set for my son.”

“Alicia!”

“Alicia!”

“Alicia!”

How did I even end up here?