CHAPTER 7

The next morning, I arrived at the hospital to pick up Sarian. She was finally being discharged. As she walked toward me, I could see the relief on her face, relief to be leaving the hospital, to be coming home… to me.

We drove back in silence. I had imagined this moment so many times before Sarian beside me, just like it used to be. But now, all I could think about was the divorce papers… and Sophia's signature at the bottom of them.

It should’ve felt like freedom. Like closure.

But all I felt was this quiet, gnawing emptiness I couldn’t explain.

When we got home, Sarian made herself comfortable like she’d never left. She kicked off her shoes, curled up on the couch, and let out a long sigh. I stood for a moment, just watching her trying to convince myself this was what I wanted. What I had always wanted.

But something felt off. Like I had stepped into a life I no longer fully recognized.

Then she noticed them.

The divorce papers.

They were still sitting on the table, right where I’d left them after signing. Her eyes fell on them, and she picked them up slowly, her fingers brushing over Sophia’s signature.

“Oh, Ethan…” she murmured, her voice soft with sympathy. “I’m sorry. You and Sophia …..it must’ve been hard.”

Her words hit harder than I expected. I hadn't been prepared for the way she'd acknowledge it so bluntly, as if the marriage had been a minor inconvenience.

I forced a thin smile. “It’s fine,” I said, the lie catching in my throat. “It was coming anyway.”

She ran her fingers over the divorce papers still lying on the table, her eyes lingering a second too long on Sophia's signature. “I know it couldn’t have been easy,” she added, her voice gentler now. “But honestly, it’s better this way, right?”

I nodded automatically, even though deep down, I wasn’t sure anymore. “Yeah. It needed to happen.”

Sarian set the papers down and turned to me, her tone soft, but edged with certainty. “You gave her everything, Ethan. But she wasn’t right for you, not the way I am. You don’t have to feel bad about choosing yourself for once.”

I should have felt relieved. Gratitude, even. This was the woman I once dreamed about building a life with. She was here. She wanted me.

But her words twisted something in my chest. I’d told myself the same thing for months that Sophia and I weren’t meant to last. It was better to walk away.

But hearing it now, spoken aloud by Sarian made it more final, more real.

I looked at her, trying to find the comfort I used to feel in her presence, but all I saw was the divorce papers out of the corner of my eye. The clean break I thought I wanted didn't feel so clean anymore.

“ Yeah,” I finally muttered, though the conviction in my voice wavered. “ It's for the best.”

Sarian smiled, stepping closer to me, her hand resting gently on my arm. “ We can finally have the life we always wanted,” she said, her voice soft, coaxing. “ No more distractions, just us.”

I nodded again, but as I looked into her eyes, I couldn't help but find the weight of everything pressing down on me, the divorce , the guilt I had tried to bury.

But I couldn't show it. Not now. I needed to push it all aside, to move forward. After all, Sarian was here, and Sophia was gone. That's all that mattered.

Or at least, that's what I kept telling myself.

Sarian stepped closer, her eyes softening as she leaned in. I could feel the warmth of her breath against my skin as my hand gently rested on my chest. Slowly, she tilted her head, her lips just inches from mine. This was it, the moment I had imagined so many times she was in California.

But as her lips brushed against mine, a wave of discomfort washed over me. I kissed her back, but it felt …off. Forced even, her hands were warm, familiar, but something wasn't right. I couldn't push away the images of the divorce papers, Sophia's boldly signed, and the cold emptiness that seemed to grow inside me.

Sarian pulled back, her smile soft, eyes searching mine as if looking for reassurance. “See?” She whispered. “ It's just us now, Ethan. We can finally have what we always wanted.”

I nodded, managing a fake smile, but deep down, I wasn't sure. This was what I wanted, the life we once dreamed of but the weight of everything that had happened, everything I had sacrificed, pressed heavily on my chest.

Sophia's face wouldn’t leave my mind. The way she looked at me the last time we spoke, the pain in her eyes when I ignored her pleas, forced her to give what she didn’t have to give. I’d shut her down, shut her out. And for what? Love I wasn't sure if it had all been worth it.

“Yeah,” I muttered, the words thick in my throat. “Just us.”

Sarian leaned in again, her lips brushing against mine, but before she could close the gap, my phone buzzed in my pocket. The screen lit up: Luca .

I pulled away slightly, my heart already uneasy, and turned my back to her. “Give me a sec,” I mumbled.

I stepped toward the hallway, answering the call with a low voice. “Luca?”

“Hey, Ethan,” Luca’s voice came through the line, a little tense. “ Is Sophia with you? I can't seem to reach her. Hope she's better now?”

I clenched my jaw, running a hand through my hair. I knew this conversation was coming, but I wasn't ready for this. “ Luca , Sophia, and I…. we're divorced.

The silence on the other hand was palpable, the weight of my words sinking in. Then came Luca’s reply, sharp and full of disbelief. “ What? Don't tell me it's because of Sarian. Ever since she came back from California, you've—” he cut himself off, his voice dropping. “ Wait… where's Sophia right now ?”

I froze. My heart skipped a beat and I suddenly realised I had no idea. I hadn't even thought about where she could be since divorce papers were signed . “ l… I don't know,” I admitted, feeling a bit formed in my stomach.

“ No, this can't be,” Luca’s voice is more urgent now, his tone full of frustration. “ If anything happens to Sophia —” he paused, the silence heavy with tension. “ Fuck off, man.” His words cut deep, and then the call abruptly ended.

I stood there, the phone still in my hand, my mind spinning. Where was Sophia? And why haven't I cared enough to check? Luca’s words echoed in my head, and for the time, doubt gnawed at me. What if something had happened?

I turned, looking at Sarian, who was still seated on the couch, oblivious to the storm brewing inside me. The life I thought I wanted, the clean break I had convinced myself was right, all suddenly felt wrong.