Chapter 2: Darkness

I walked across the parking lot. My eyes locked on to the street corner. As my heart beat faster, the thoughts of the surrounding darkness pressed in. I held on to my anger. What did I have to lose? A crappy flip phone? Half a college education? Or even a one bedroom apartment I shared with a roommate. There wasn't much here to hold on to.

Well, my roommate wasn't so bad. My anger lessened a little as I thought of the spunky little Mila. In a fucked up world, she somehow made everything a little brighter. Sometimes her bubbling over happiness was a bit annoying, but she had a heart of gold and was the only reason I managed to pay the bills. Without her, I'd never be able to afford the apartment on my own. It was nice having someone with a rich daddy.

I got excited for a moment. Maybe I would catch up with her. She could be out here waiting for me and I wouldn't have to walk home in the dark. But, probably not. She should be home by now. Maybe she was even making dinner and she always shared. She was kind like that, ever sweet, ever thoughtful. She made me want to be a kinder person. She seemed to be the only one that distracted me from this loneliness I felt. Not that I didn't like being alone, just that some part of me seemed like it was missing.

I hastened towards the corner. I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I reached the safety of the puddle of light. I panted while I waited for the walk signal. I had to get a grip. Nobody was even out here. What was I so afraid of?

Once the walk signal flashed, I scurried across the road to the next light. I pinched my purse tighter to my side.I took one more deep breath as I exited the safety of the street lamp. I had to be brave. Fuck, Mila did this every night and she was just fine. She wasn't raped or mugged. She was even down right happy. Maybe I needed a little bit of darkness in my life. Maybe that was the trade-off for being happy.

But fear was irrational. It wasn't something you could choose. For me darkness was two-fold. Not only did it conjure panic, but because of my vertigo, it also made me incredibly uncoordinated. It was like walking when you were plastered. But at least drunks could self-correct. My inner ears were so fucked up I had to crawl down the hallway wall just to take a piss at night. It was fucking terrible.

As I left the lights behind, the buildings grew tall enough to block any moonlight. The darkness closed in. My eyes darted from every nook and cranny expecting... well I don't know what, to jump out, but something scary. It could be a bad guy or a vampire, or hell a wendiego. An image of a slender white body with a mouthful of pointed teeth plagued my mind. My throat tightened. I could feel that fear surging through me again.

I was being stupid. None of that was real. I watched too many movies and read too many books. There was nothing there. I knew it, but why did it feel like there was? I clutched my purse. If I looked, I knew there would be nothing. I could do this. I quickly swung a look back while I continued walking. Nothing followed me. See? I was just being stupid.

I whipped my head back around, but now it was worse. Why did I have to look? I knew nothing was there but my throat clenched so tightly I felt like I was choking. There's nothing there. There's nothing there. One more look.

I swung around again. Nothing. See? It's nothing. My heart raced faster. I spun forward. More teeth flashed through my mind. And eyes, and claws. Oh my god, why? I couldn't handle it. I started to jog. Why'd I have to do that? That just made it worse. I was moving so slow, I had to move faster. To get away. My mind blanked. The street darkened and my feet flew faster.

In a few moments I was fleeing at a sprint. I couldn't see where I was going because the vertigo was bouncing my vision. I started to careen sideways into the road. I tried to correct as my heart threatened to explode from my chest. As I over adjusted, I ended up winging around the corner of a building. I had no idea where I was, but I couldn't stop. The darkness was still there, like it was chasing me, but I knew it was just irrational fear.

I had to find light. Somewhere, anywhere. I had to get a grip. My feet pounded the pavement. My balance threatened to topple me over. I darted around another corner, then another. I was running out of stamina. I couldn't sprint like this forever, but my terror wouldn't let me stop. I flew around the next corner.

Something tripped up my foot. I flew with my hands outstretched in front of me. As I hit the pavement, the asphalt tore me up again. Suddenly everything screamed in pain. I had ripped holes in pants. My hands, knees, and chin all stung. They started to burn, I assumed, with blood. Only then did I realize someone was shouting at me.

"What the fuck! What is wrong with you? You came out of fucking nowhere. Don't you have any respect? What..."

My vision swam, but the streetlight overhead illuminated the area. I blinked and concentrated on the ground in front of me beneath my hands. My breath came in ragged gasps. I flipped over and sat staring at the jerking blob that was yelling at me. My vision settled on the object of my flight. It was a body. It was familiar. Oh. My. God.

"Mila!" I screamed frantically.