Chapter 3: Sariah: Misery Loves Company

My stomach drops, tearing the envelope open too quickly, the paper slicing across my thumb.

“Shit,” I hiss under my breath.

My hands are shaking as I pull the card out of the envelope because there is only one reason Darkthorne sends black envelopes sealed with the silver crest.

Mating ceremonies.

My pulse pounds violently in my ears as I read the contents of the card. 

My breath hitches and the acid in my stomach rises to my throat and I feel like I’m physically going to be sick. 

The ceremony isn’t mine. 

It’s Brock’s. And for some reason that hurts worse. 

A faint knock sounds against my bedroom door before I can process the thought fully. I panic and shove the envelope beneath my thigh just as the door creaks softly.

“Ri?”

My chest tightens immediately because I knew it was him even before he spoke. 

Brock.

The same Brock who never bothered mentioning that he apparently had a mating ceremony in three weeks as well. The same Brock who never told me he was being paired at all. Or with who. The betrayal hits me like an eighteen wheeler and I feel like I can’t breathe. But I have to compose myself, already knowing he’s going to invite himself in. 

I stare down at my hands without answering. Part of me hopes he’ll leave.

The other part already knows he won’t.

And another part is glad for that.

The door opens wider and I don’t turn to face him or look in his direction. 

I drag my thumb slowly along the sharp edge of the envelope hidden beneath my leg, welcoming the sting of it. The tiny pain helps distract from the much bigger one currently trying to cave my chest in.

“Ri,” Brock says carefully. “I didn’t know.” He looks at the envelope I'm holding, a sudden look of surprise catching me off guard.

I laugh quietly. Not because anything is funny. Because if I don’t laugh, I might cry again.

“I didn’t know my dad was arranging yours either,” he continues. “I just…” He exhales heavily. “I assumed eventually it would happen.”

Eventually.

Like it’s normal. Like being decided every single thing in your life by someone else is just absolutely normal and shouldn’t destroy me. 

“You don’t get it,” I whisper.

Brock steps farther into my room, shutting the door behind him softly. 

“Ri,” he says again, gentler this time. “You’re not going to end up alone.”

But I will be. Because even if I stayed and married Garner- someone I don’t love and barely know- I’ll still feel alone every single day beside him, in this place where I don’t fit in. 

Brock sits on the edge of my bed and I finally turn my head in his direction. “You know I don’t want to stay here.” My voice cracks despite how hard I try to stop it. “And now because of this, leaving is going to be even harder.”

Brock’s jaw tightens.

“But that’s the thing.” He runs a hand through his dark, curly black hair in frustration. “I know you have all these plans to leave the pack and go to med school and pretend none of this ever existed, but running away isn’t going to fix anything either.”

I stare at him. 

“Running away?” I repeat quietly. “Is that really what you think this is?”

“Sariah—”

“No.” I stand up too fast, anger finally burning hotter than hurt. “You don’t know what this place feels like for me, Brock. Nobody even fucking wants me here! I’m a walking pity party every single day of my life.” I catch a tear that threatens to fall. “You’re the golden boy of Darkthorne,” I snap. “You would never understand what it’s like to be me.” 

The second the words leave my mouth, regret hits me.

I look in his direction, a hurt expression on his face. 

“You know that isn’t true.” He says, sympathy in his tone. 

I went too far, I hit him where I knew it was going to hurt because the truth is I know he knows. At least partially. Being the son of the alpha he was expected for greatness but when his wolf didn’t possess alpha qualities his father deemed him an omega. And even though Alpha Axton never admitted it, everyone could tell he loved Brock a little less. 

And before his hockey skills became what they are, people used to sneer at him too. The weak omega-born son of an alpha. He was a disappointment. And it was one of the reasons why he became my best friend. 

Because I finally found someone who understood me. 

“You know I know what that feels like, Ri. You know that if I had the chance to leave, too, I would. But I can’t. And regardless of the mating ceremonies we’re always going to be friends. You’re always going to have me and you're always going to have Lydia and Malcolm. Why can’t that be enough?” 

Friends. The word hits me harder than it should knowing that’s all we will ever be. In a world where marriages are arranged for political power and no one gives a fuck about the human girl they’ve had to take care of her whole life, Brock will never be mine. Not the way I secretly want him to be.  

I’ll still be the human girl that the pack pitied enough to keep alive. Nothing more.

A tear falls from my lashes and I catch it before it falls. Brock notices. Because he always notices. And every time I cry it makes him uncomfortable. He stands up and pats his hands down his jeans. “There’s a home game tomorrow night. Last one before finals. Please come.” He says, before heading out the bedroom door. 

Brock lingers near the doorway for another second before leaving. I gaze out of the corner of my eye and see him look back before rounding the corner and walking down the stairs. I hear the front door close and I bury my face in my pillow and cry. 

I cry until exhaustion eventually drags me under. When I wake hours later, the room is dark except the moonlight spilling inside my sheer curtains and into my bedroom. 

The black envelope makes a crinkling noise as I get up trying to position myself in a more comfortable position. I grab the card and run my fingers over the embossed lettering. 

Brock Axton is mating someone in three weeks. The same week that I'm being forced to mate with Garner.

He will mark her in front of this entire pack. I’m not sure who he’s spending forever with but I know one thing- I’m not sticking around long enough to find out.