Mag-log inThe rest of the night felt wrong. That was the simplest way to put it. The haunted house spat us back out into the cold carnival air with all its noise and lights and sugar sick chaos, and Clair immediately started complaining about how bad it had been, how one of the actors had smelled like cigarettes, how the mirror room had been “cheap in an insulting way.”
I nodded in the right places. Answered when she paused long enough to need a response. Walked beside her with one handThe hallway was dim and crowded with noise. A couple stumbled past, laughing too loudly. Someone leaned against the wall scrolling their phone. Nobody looked at me twice. Of course they didn’t. Clifford Hayes was calm. Clifford Hayes was sensible. Clifford Hayes did not come apart at parties. I stepped into the hall. Tyler followed. “Don’t,” I said without looking back. He stopped. For a second, that was worse than if he’d argued. I made it halfway down the stairs before I saw Clair. She was in the living room near the sliding doors, hair fixed, lipstick reapplied, one hand wrapped around a red cup. Brad stood a few feet away with his soccer friends, laughing like he hadn’t just detonated my life upstairs. Clair saw me and her smile flickered, just for a second. Then she recovered. Clair Bennett could probably recover from a house fire with perfect posture. “There you are,” she called, bright a
For a while, neither of us moved. The closet felt smaller than before, smaller than physics should’ve allowed. Like the shelves had shifted inward and the hanging coats were trying to suffocate me. My skin was too hot. My hands were trembling. My lungs couldn’t work out how to process air. Tyler’s breathing was rough behind me, uneven enough that some distant, insane part of my brain registered it with satisfaction. Then the rest of my brain remembered Clair. Clair laughing, saying my name, saying I was safe, stable and smart. How she mentioned my families money, my goal of a high paying finance job, her options on the side and how oblivious I was to almost everything. My stomach turned so sharply I thought I might be sick. Tyler’s hand left me carefully, like he’d suddenly realised I wasn't there. The absence of it made me feel exposed. Cold, wrong in a way I couldn’t explain without wanting to punch a hole through the nearest wall.
I should have left the closet. I was acutely aware of how small the closet was. There was barely enough room to stand without our chests brushing. Shelves pressed in on both sides, cardboard boxes stacked high overhead, and hanging clothes dragged across my shoulders every time I breathed too deep. The door had barely clicked shut before Tyler had me backed against the wall, one hand planted beside my head, the other already sliding low on my hip like he owned the space between us.And fuck, he did. I was already breathing hard, pulse hammering in my throat. Not from the stairs, or from the party downstairs. From him. From the week of constant teasing, the locker room brushes, the library table stares, the way he’d smirk like he could see straight through every lie I told myself about Clair. From the fight still burning under my skin and the sudden, humiliating certainty that I’d followed him up here anyway.Tyler looked down at me, blue eyes dark in the thin strip
I left the bedroom before I said something I couldn’t take back. The hallway outside felt cooler, darker, easier to breathe in than the room I’d just walked out of. Behind me, I could still hear the tail end of Clair’s voice sharp, offended, furious that I wouldn’t just do what she wanted and stop making everything difficult. I didn’t look back. My jaw was tight enough to hurt. The whole argument was still burning through me in ugly fragments. I hit the stairs too fast, one hand brushing the wall as I took them, and nearly walked straight into someone at the bottom. A hand caught my shoulder before we collided properly. “Easy, Hayes.” Of course it was Tyler. I looked up too quickly and found him standing right there in the half light of the hall, one hand still on my shoulder, expression already halfway amused. “You trying to break your neck?” he asked. “I’m fine.” He gave me one
By Friday, I had made the mistake of thinking I understood how bad things were. That was on me. I had my grades pulling back into line, or at least wobbling in the right direction. Leonard had stopped looking at me like I was one badly formatted spreadsheet away from collapse. Tara had gone from calling me haunted to calling me “annoyingly mysterious.". Even Clair had been easier with me for a couple of days. Less sharp, less suspicious and more openly affectionate in the hallways like she was reclaiming territory she thought had started slipping. It should have felt like relief.Instead it felt like standing on thin ice and hearing cracks under the surface every time Tyler came too close.Which was often enough to be a problem. He’d brushed his hand against my back near the lockers that morning when a crowd of juniors jammed the corridor, and my body had reacted so stupidly fast that I’d had to pretend I was coughing just to cover the hitch in my breathing. Later,
For all the damage Tyler had done to my internal stability, he’d also done one deeply inconvenient thing. He’d made me laugh. Not once, either. Repeatedly. In the library, in passing, in those stupid little moments where he’d look at one of my colour coded revision sheets like I’d handed him evidence from a crime scene and then say something just sharp enough to get through my mood before I could defend against it.I hated that. I hated it because it felt good. And I hated it even more because Leonard and Tara noticed almost immediately.“You look less haunted,” Tara said on Thursday at lunch, dropping into the seat beside me with the kind of energy that suggested she’d either had too much sugar or slept a full eight hours, both of which I found suspicious.“That’s a rude thing to say to someone before he’s finished eating,” I replied.“It’s true,” she said. “Last week you looked like the ghost of a Victorian schoolboy who died under mysterious ac
The car ride home should’ve been easy. Clair was in a good mood, half turned toward me in the passenger seat with one leg tucked under herself, talking about who had worn what, who had embarrassed themselves and who was definitely hooking up with who by the look of it. She was bright and animated
I should’ve left the second I saw the bottle. That’s the easiest version of the story to tell now. The clean one. The one where I stand up, laugh it off, drag Clair out with me, and spend the rest of the night making fun of Tara for having the emotional maturity of a fourteen year old with a ligh
By Friday afternoon, I had already said no to Tara three times.The first no happened before homeroom, when she cornered me at my locker and informed me that “attendance was mandatory” in the tone of someone announcing military service.The second happened at lunch, when she sat on the edge of our
If you’d asked me then, I would’ve told you my life made sense. Not perfect, because nobody’s life at eighteen is perfect, no matter how polished it looks from the outside. But it made sense. I had grades good enough to keep my parents off my back most of the time, a clear plan for university, two






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