Chapter 5: Shut up and get out.

The hospital smells like antiseptic and sterilized surfaces

I'm sitting on a metal chair outside Damien's room, my soaked clothes dripping water onto the floor as I stare at the wall in front of me.

The nurses word's from a moment ago still ring in my head, "We can't let you in to see him yet, Luna Sabrina. Alpha Damien is still stabilizing and.... Only family can come in to see him in this state."

I should have fought that. 

I should have screamed at the nurse, reminding her one important thing they all seem to forget in this pack, "I AM HIS FAMILY. I'M HIS WIFE!"

Damien being in the wardroom is the only thing that stopped me. The noise would probably disturb him and that's the last thing I want right now. 

It's been some time since then and my phone has died. I didn't charge it…. I don't want to get another message. 

The door to the ward room opens again and I sit up, a shiver of cold running down my spine as the cold air from an air conditioner hits me.

The head healer of the pack, a member of the council, Elder Mira steps out and her eyes meet mine.

They take in my form seated in the chair and something in her gaze softens, "The Alpha is stable now."

A breath of relief leaves my lips and I slouch into the seat.

Elder Mira sighs and leans against the door as she continues, "He might not be stable for long, but we're sure he is for now. The injury to his spine was severe though.

We've stopped the bleeding and set his broken bones as best as we can but,"

This time my tongue feels like it’s swelling in my throat when she takes a pause. 

She hesitates to say this part, and each second longer it takes scares me. When she finally drops the news, it’s worser than I imagined. 

"Alpha Damien may never walk again. He has no sensation below the waist at the moment."

Even though I'm seated, the floor seems to tilt under me. I take deep, heavy breaths for a long while before I finally find my words. 

"Can I see him?"

The elderly woman watches me for a moment, her eyes inspecting and searching, before she nods.

I get up, tuck my drying hair out of my face and step into the ward room.

Damien is strewn out on the bed in a long hospital dress. It still manages to fall short because of his height. 

The wounds on his face are stark on his skin, red and angry even after they’ve been cleaned. 

There are tubes and wires, the sound of machines working to keep him alive everywhere…. My eyes roam around, and I find a chair close to him. 

Even though my hands shake, I take his hand in mine "I'm sorry, Damien.” My voice trembles with every word I say, “I'm so sorry."

His hand is warmer now, but it's still limp. 

Tears slide down my face as I hold it tighter, "I should have tried harder to stop you. I'm so sorry I couldn't."

Damien's eyes open slowly, steadily. 

His face creases in pain but in his eyes, there's still that look of open disappointment he had earlier this evening. His voice is hoarse and condescending when he speaks.

"There's nothing you could have done to stop me. Don't be foolish."

I swallow the pain building in my throat and place his hand back on the bed, taking mine away.

There's a silence in the room now and as always when it's just us, the silence is suffocating.  

I try to break it, "The… the healers say,"

"I heard what the healers said." Damien's voice cracks as he cuts me off and my heart shudders.

He knows he might never walk again. That's... That's not what I wanted to bring up right now but since he knows,

"Stand up and get out."

My eyes snap up to meet Damien's and there's a crackling anger in them. I immediately try to explain.

"Damien, I never wanted to talk about that. I was only going to..."

"I said GET OUT!"

His words are a low growl, not because he doesn't want to shout but because he can't go any louder without hurting himself. That's how much he doesn't want me here.

My body shivers again from the freezing draft of the air conditioner, and all at once I feel stupid. He never would have wanted me here so what am I even doing here? 

I stand, my legs numb and hurting as I head to the door. 

As I grab the handle, I pause and struggle to find a steady voice, "A few hours ago, you asked me to call Lucius and Thorne. I don't know who those men are so I haven't been able to. 

Do you still want me to do that?"

There's a long silence. One that makes me feel shame running down my spine and makes me feel even more of a fool. He doesn't want me here. I should leave.

"Call them." He says finally.  

"Tell them... Tell them their Alpha needs them. That should get them to come."

I nod and leave before he smells anything i'm feeling.

Once I'm outside the hall, I lean against the door and slide down until I'm sitting on the cold floor.

I don't know who Lucius and Thorne are, but those names... those names belong to two people in my past. 

Two people who hate me and make my heart beat in fear, but what are the odds it’s them?

Maybe this Thorne and Lucius are different. 

Maybe they can take care of him better than I can because he doesn't seem to want my help. 

Once I'm back at the packhouse, I change my clothes and run a fresh bath.

In nothing but my robes, I make my way to Damien's office and pull the phone book he always keeps in his drawer. A candle's light helps me navigate through the names and when I find them, there's no first name to the contacts.

It's just Lucuis and Thorne.

I dial the first number and it answers on the second ring.

"Speak quickly." 

The voice on the other end of the line is deep and raspy. I can't tell anything from it so I just go ahead.

"I'm calling on behalf of Alpha Damien Silver. This is his Luna.

There was an accident. He's currently hospitalized, and he's asking for you both. Lucius and Thorne."

A bit of silence stretches before I get a response, "We're on our way. We'll be at the packhouse by dawn."