The sky was clear and the clouds were like masterpieces that adorned the blue of the sky, Louise lay down next to me on the green grass and held my hand, her smile was stunning always made the best parts of me light up with so much happiness, every moment next to her gave me peace, she looks into my eyes and says "I love you so much, let's have a baby" with every word said my heart was beating in my chest and happiness dominated me completely, but suddenly the sky turned black, very dark, I couldn't see anything, I look to the side and Louise was standing, holding her hand and now what was warm has turned to ice, the smile is gone, her face is lifeless, I start screaming for help, but nobody appears, I cry desperately but she was already dead and nobody appeared to help us, tears flow, the pain invades my being, I look at Louise however she was no longer there, disappeared, disappeared, "help" I scream however I'm all alone, there's no one else to save me from the darkness that was slowly engulfing me completely.
I wake up with a jump, my breathing was labored and I was sweating with the sheet completely soaked in sweat, these nightmares tormented me every night, I no longer knew what to do, I walked to the balcony of my room and leaned there, watching the stars, they always calmed me down on my worst nights, these terrible dreams always brought me the worst memories I've ever lived in my entire life, when I was sixteen I met the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, my father King Richard had decided to give a welcome ball for the King of Russia, Louise was in a red dress with a golden mask, her hair was black and her eyes were gray like the cloudy sky, her skin glowed a darker shade of gold, every feature of that princess completely stole my heart, over time we started talking, we had so many things in common, Louise besides being beautiful was smart and very sweet, a year passed her father made a political alliance with our the small country, Atlanta was at its best, before the war started, against Russia itself, Louise and I soon started dating, the alliance would become stronger from the moment the two of us got married, two years passed , I was nineteen and Louise eighteen, it didn't take long and I asked her to marry me, our families couldn't stand it with so much happiness, the people celebrated for a week after the announcement of our engagement, she decided that she was going to return to Russia and there she would choose her wedding dress, I said I didn't need it, that I would find one here in Atlanta, but she was so insistent "you only get married once in your life" were her last words before getting on that damn plane, which took my bride to grave and my heart that was buried with it. Tears fall down my face as I remember, I spent a year in mourning, nothing was important to me, in my view life was not worth living, everything we love most is taken from us as soon as life has the opportunity to do so , I didn't eat, I started having problems with alcohol and I never left my room, my mother saw the pitiful state I was in, she was the one who saved me from death, literally, one day I was so anguished and sad that I took all the medicines in my room, I had an overdose of medicines mixed with the alcohol that I kept consuming, my mother came to my room to see how I was feeling, but the door had been locked, she screamed but I didn't answer I had passed out , she says that this was the worst moment of her life to see me about to lose my life, when I woke up the next day, she begged me to fight for myself, for her, if I loved her I would continue my life, and it was at that moment that the queen brought me to reality again, i never got over louise's death, but i learned that it's best to hide how you feel, people will never understand what it's like to lose someone you love until it happens to them, today at the age of twenty one, I'm already bigger, soon I'll assume the throne and I need to have someone by my side, I was very clear when I said that I didn't want a princess, it would be too painful to replace that post that belonged to my eternal Louise, my whole family supported me and they decided to give me one chance for the girls of our people, my mother's idea was to offer a real position to one of them, in fact the most talented, they called this competition "Diamond Crown" the most beautiful and talented young women in each sector would be obliged to enlist, my father found the idea incredible and spoke with the ministers who agreed, so starting tomorrow we will start visiting the training of these young women in their sectors, only the most qualified will come to spend a month here in the castle, even with everything what are they doing for me i am still not excited about the idea of finding another young woman, i will never be able to find what i had with Louise, my life will forever be haunted by this feeling i still have in my heart.
I wake up the next morning with the sun on my face, I groan when I hear the voice of Morris my butler, I put the pillow on my head and go back to dozing again, but I am surprised with a pull on my covers, and then they push me out of bed , I fall to the floor with a loud thud, I look at the person who did this and I see Thomas sitting on my bed laughing like crazy, I take the pillow and throw it in his face, he is startled and I am the one who starts laughing. _________ Let's go Nathan get up from that bed man .. - Complains my younger brother with a loud and firm voice. He stands up and crosses his arms looking at me seriously. _________ I was about to get up - I mutter looking at Tom who is completely different from me, his eyes are green and his blond hair shines bright under the sunlight, my appearance is totally dull, brown hair of an almost black tone and brown eyes Honey-colored, Cameron also looks like Mom as does Thomas, and I'm the only one born looking like my dad. _____
A week went by and my mum didn't bring up the subject, everything was normal, as it should be, my mum worked two jobs to support us, Luke helped me with the housework and took care of Bianca on the days I went hunting and to fight, it was hard to have a secret life my mother didn't know about these underground fights I got into, but that extra money was always very helpful, tonight I would earn 50 coins if I defeated a burly girl that everyone called "The wall ", I get ready as soon as she leaves for her second job, I throw my backpack on my back and pass all the instructions to my middle brother, Bianca complains about being alone with Luke but I ignore the complaints and go out the door, outside Blacke me waiting with a smile on his face as always. ________ Ready? - he asks and then we start walking together, I can always count on Blacke; my deepest secrets can be revealed to him and at the same time I feel like I have a pillar by my side to lean on. ________ I am always prepared.
Broken hearts do they have a concert? Is there really a possibility of reinventing a broken soul? I asked myself as I raised the glass of water to my lips for the tenth time, this idea of pretending to be sipping wine when it's really just crystal clear water came from the queen, my clouded irises intensify when I see the female silhouette start to move on stage in front, with an indecipherable lightness, her slender body follows the melodic and dramatic music, everyone watching is impressed by the dancer's agility and balance, but what about me? What I feel? I really have no idea how I'm supposed to feel, Rowena Rascov is my brothers' choice for sector number one, a beautiful ballerina; in addition to being extremely famous, with her blonde hair she is attractive to men's eyes, and she seems genuinely interested in me when we are formally introduced, after her artistic ballet performance. However, I can't even exchange ten words with her, she smiles kindly and sounds shy; their cho
A week went by and my mum didn't bring up the subject, everything was normal, as it should be, my mum worked two jobs to support us, Luke helped me with the housework and took care of Bianca on the days I went hunting and to fight, it was hard to have a secret life my mother didn't know about these underground fights I got into, but that extra money was always very helpful, tonight I would earn 50 coins if I defeated a burly girl that everyone called "The wall ", I get ready as soon as she leaves for her second job, I throw my backpack on my back and pass all the instructions to my middle brother, Bianca complains about being alone with Luke but I ignore the complaints and go out the door, outside Blacke me waiting with a smile on his face as always. ________ Ready? - he asks and then we start walking together, I can always count on Blacke; my deepest secrets can be revealed to him and at the same time I feel like I have a pillar by my side to lean on. ________ I am always prepared.
Crowds gather at the bottom of the hill, it is mandatory to attend my performance for the royal family unless you are a "special worker", i.e. health and so to speak. Other than that, the rest of Nigrum's population should have been present. After her presentation stages I was considered the best "Daughter of Nigrum" with the necessary military skills to impress the royal family and have a chance to reach the Diamond Crown. Of course, all this I found myself doing for one reason only. My mom. After seeing her pride watching me go through the first two stages, I felt really special and something dominated in my chest the desire to give that feeling to the woman who brought me into the world, and see that smile again. The shadows around me darken as I climb the stone steps to the top of the arena. Blacke was totally against this enlistment, in fact I saw a thick black shadow pass through his irises, I wasn't sure what it was, but the brunette refused to leave me alone during this whole
Waiting sustains an unshakable expectation in my chest, Nigrum is the first sector that shows me a certain warmth and will of its population; funny because it's the second poorest in Atlanta even though it's extremely important for the country, maybe in my government I can change a lot of things around here, however right now all I can do is feel this energy that emanates from the arena that awaits the girl who will fight for the crown, I'm standing in front of the podium; my gaze remains serious as usual, my eyebrows are drawn together expressing the severity of my soul, I stare at the bottom where a floor of dry sand stretches out; the presenter enters at this moment with an extremely exaggerated outfit, in shades of fire and gold, the suit shines that blinds me, he positions himself in the corner of the arena, the microphone goes up to his lips as a wide and false smile is made on his face, he starts a brief introduction and then announces the girl's name; on a beautiful white hors
Faith is one of the most important virtues of the human being that makes you believe in a greater good in a day when everything can be better where the light of the East illuminates your paths, when corrupted it means the death of the soul and only the existence of a being without pathless identity in search of nothingness deceived by his disturbed and manipulated ego. Nathan Crowther was just a being full of the now, upset and manipulated by a flawed system. If words could describe the state of my soul, maybe I wouldn't spend my days in exile inside myself. I wouldn't even sink in the tide of pain I carry in my chest, however, it's impossible to describe how much it hurts: The pain of living what you are. Now that the first phase of the enlistment was over and I had become victorious under the daughters of Nigrum, I found myself in a leaky boat from which I would probably drown; I only hoped to save myself in time. After the presentation I returned home, the first phase was completed
There are no words, languages, gestures or even thoughts that can express the pain of loss. It is so deeply aching and soul-wrenching with inordinate care, cutting slowly and painfully with the blunt side of the knife. The pain is phenomenal, incredibly painful, extraordinarily painful, fatally painful. It's pain, pain, pain, just pain. And it doesn't give in, it doesn't calm down, it doesn't give up. And the soul writhes, revolves, cries, screams and groans in dull moans that take over the body, make the spirit stagger and stun. The pain of loss has no sound, no voice, and invades the core of being silently and cruelly, making the body hurt and sick. It massacres the soul to such an extent that everything around it loses its meaning. Everything loses the glow of life. The eyes look but see nothing, the ears hear without hearing anything, the arms fall without feeling any support, any whisper of comprehension or understanding. Only the taste of the blood of pain is perceived in the de