Oh, hell.She drew in a sharp breath at my words.My true words. We both knew it. The more we used to argue, the more desperate and rough our inevitable make-up sex was. The angrier we were, the tighter we were wound, the more we needed the release.Sex wasn’t a problem solver, but it always paved the way for us to settle things. They were always settled naked and cuddling, but they were still settled.The issue with now was that there was so much tension and so many unspoken words that both of us were wounded tightly all the time. At least I was. There wasn’t a second where I didn’t want to grab her and kiss her, just because I needed some of that frustration to disintegrate against her sweet mouth.But that ends tonight. The unspoken words will no longer be unspoken. We had a thousand things we needed to say that will only end explosively if we talked in private. I knew us so well.Despite Milka, despite the time passed, we were still us.We were just buried beneath a bunch of bulls
Her voice trailed off, getting smaller until I could barely hear her over the sound of the restaurant. I reached forward and slid my fingers through hers. I brushed my thumb across the inside of her wrist, and her fingers squeezed around mine.“I was afraid I wouldn’t be enough for you anymore,” she whispered, looking at our hands. “You had this whole other world opening up to you. There would be concerts and recording sessions. Video shoots and events. None of those I would have been able to do heavily pregnant or with a young baby. I was afraid that you’d find someone else who was thin and beautiful. That you would want Milka but you wouldn’t want me anymore. I was too selfish to deal with that.”Her words cut through me, and I took a deep breath. Shit, they stung, they burnt. They fucking shattered my heart.“It was easier to run. Easier to hide. It was easier to push you aside than open myself to the possibility of you doing the same thing to me.”I exhaled, but it was shuddery, a
“And where do you think you’re going to get a tour bus in nine days?”“It might have to be a smaller RV,” he acquiesced. “But still. I want you there, Chloe. And Milka, too.”He pushed some hair from my face, then trailed his thumbs down to my eyes. He pulled a baby wipe from the packet on the cushion next to us and wiped under my eyes, then softly scrubbed off all my mascara. Another, and he wiped all traces of makeup from my face.“I want my girls with me. Always,” he said roughly. “I want to hear Milka’s giggles and see her smile, and I want to watch her learn new things.” His hands slid up my back. “I want to hold you whenever I want, and kiss you whenever the mood strikes me, and dammit, Chloe, I want to fuck you until neither of us can speak whenever we’re alone. I just fucking want you, girl. All the time.”I lowered my lips to his. “Then have me. Now. That’s all I’m promising. Now, until you leave.”“It’s not good enough.”“It’s all I can give you. You can’t expect me to make
I shuffled out of bed quietly and opened one of my drawers. I pulled out his T-shirt, one I kept when I left, and pulled it over my head. I didn’t know how he missed it when he put all my clothes in the drawers. Maybe he didn’t miss it—maybe he noticed it and decided to just ignore it.Tying my hair up, I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. The kettle was empty, so I filled it and set it to boil, then threw four slices of bread into the toaster. My laptop was on the counter and I opened it, bringing up Spotify. I set the radio playing and hummed along to the song—Dirty J.’s latest. My lips curved.Damn. They were everywhere.I twirled across the kitchen, still humming, and grabbed the butter and milk from the fridge. I buttered the toast when it popped and stir two coffees.“I wondered what was dying down here.” Conor’s hands settled on either side of my body on the counter, and he dipped his face into the side of my neck.“Ha, ha.” I knocked his elbow with mine. “Good morning to
“I have no idea where we’re goin’, man, so if she says she’s happier with you comin’ along, then get in your car and follow us.”I leaned out of the window and whispered to Ajay, “Records Office.”“Ahhh.” He smiled, looking at Conor knowingly.“The fuck? You’ll tell him but not me?”I smiled sweetly, flipped the car around, and drove out of Santa Monica. Conor grumbled the whole way, presumably to coerce me into telling him. I wouldn’t, though. Not until we get there.My surprises were definitely better than his.Still he moaned, muttering to himself, and when a Dirty J. song came on the radio he shut it off. I laughed, making the turn onto the road that’ll take us to the records office.Conor sat up straight when I pulled into the lot. Ajay pulled up beside us, and so did a bunch of media.“We’re—what?”My lips curled hesitantly, and I got out without responding.Ajay got out of his car. “Conor, move your ass before they jump on you.”Conor joined me and wrapped his arm around my wai
I reached out and took her hands in mine, even though we’re walking through the door.I had to find a way to get rid of them. A way that meant they won’t be the first to get Milka’s photo. A way that meant we can take Milka out and do anything we want to with her, that meant we wouldn’t have to sneak her through the damn woods to get between our houses.Milka looked up as soon as we walked in the room. “Mama! Dadda!” She scampered up and ran to us, arms wide.I scooped her up, holding her to my chest, smiling. “Hey, little girl.”“My lub Dadda.” She squeezed my neck as tightly as only a two-year-old can.“I love you, too, baby.”“My lub Mama.” She reached for Chloe.She placed her hand on Milka’s back and kissed her cheek. “Mama lub you, too,” she whispered.I turned my face and kissed Chloe’s temple, letting my lips linger there.Mom walked in and smiled. “Done?” she asked Chloe.Chloe turned and nodded.“Great! Now, Conor.” She faced me. “Aiden’s in the garage whining like a little
“No, it’s completely normal.” I grined. “What did you do today?” Chloe sighed. “Let’s see. We baked cookies, drew approximately fifteen hundred pictures of Peppa Pig, napped, helped your mom make meat loaf for dinner, then had a big splashy bath. I also discovered I will burn cookies if your mom doesn’t remind me they’re in there and I can’t draw for shit.” “Sounds busy.” “Busy and a little tedious. For Milka, too,” she added, tracing her finger over my tattoo. The casual movement sent shivers through me. “Really? It sounds like a toddler’s dream.” “I think she’s bored, Con,” she said softly. “Even of the beach. She’s been doin’ the same stuff for over a week now. She started getting really naughty earlier.” I felt so damn bad she was kept practically captive because of who I was. “We’ll figure it out this weekend, okay? Another day or two in the house won’t hurt her. We’ll go to the toy store in the morning and buy her a bunch of stuff to amaze her.” Chloe smiled sadly. “It’s
I frowned at him. “I don’t get it.”“Facebook.” He sat down next to me triumphantly. “You post a picture of her and Conor on the Dirty J. fan page. We have like twenty million likers on that thing. It’ll go viral from there, and none of the media will get their famed shot of the ‘Dirty J. secret baby.’ ”I placed my phone down on the table and stared at him, my mouth dropping. “Aiden! That’s brilliant!”He sat back smugly. “It’s been known to happen now and then.”I looked at Conor. “Do you think it’ll work?”He nodded. “We have a lot of messages and posts asking to see her. It’s like they don’t really believe it. We can post it there, then go out straight after.”“They’ll all think they’re getting the pictures, but there’ll already be one online.” Aiden tapped his fist against the table. “Hey, Milka.”“Yeah, Aid?”“You want a picture with Daddy?”“Picker?” she gasped, her eyes lighting up.“Yeah. Picker.” Aiden leaned forward. “You want Mommy in it?”“Mama picker, too.” She gasped ag