Chp 1

Pearl POV

“Pearl… remember this. No one must ever know you’re a girl.”

My father’s voice trembled, though he tried to keep it steady. His bloodstained hand cupped my cheek, warm… but fading.

“You must live as a boy. For the rest of your life,” he whispered. “This world is cruel… and I won’t let it take you too.”

“Father, no… please don’t say that…” My voice broke as I clutched him tighter.

He lay in my lap, his other hand pressed against the wound in his chest. Blood kept slipping through his fingers no matter how hard he tried to hold it in. I pressed my cheek into his palm, desperate to keep him there.

He smiled, it was faint, fragile and brushed a lock of my hair aside.

Then his hand stilled.

“Father…?”

There was silence.“No… no, please… wake up…” My small hands shook as I held onto him, as if I could pull him back.

But his warmth was already slipping away.

I screamed, my voice tearing through the chaos around us.

The estate burned. People shouted. Something crashed in the distance. I didn’t understand anything…I only knew that my father wasn’t moving.

Someone tried to pull me away.

“No! Let go! He’ll wake upz he has to wake up!” I cried, clinging to his hand.

“Forgive me, my lady…” my maid whispered, her voice breaking as she pried me away.

Strong arms lifted me. I fought, screamed, reached for him but he grew farther and farther away.

“Mom! Dad! Don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me!” I sobbed into her shoulder as she ran.

Flames devoured everything behind us.

My home. My world.

My family.

—

The darkness never really left me and even now, it still finds me. I woke with a sharp gasp, my chest rising and falling too fast, as if I had been running. My fingers curled into the sheets, but all I could feel was the ghost of his blood still staining my hands.

“My lady… are you alright?”

Cecil’s voice pulled me back. She sat beside me, her eyes already filled with tears. I forced myself to breathe slower. The room came into focus….the walls, the window, the quiet morning light.

It was not the fire nor the screams. I reached out and gently wiped her tears away.

“I’m fine, Cecil,” I said softly. “You don’t need to worry.”

She shook her head, clutching my hand as if I might disappear. “You always say that… but you suffer alone.”

I gave her a small smile. It was easier that way.

Cecil had stayed with me when everything else was gone. After that night, after the fire, after losing my parents… she was the only one who didn’t leave.

It was my aunt who took us in. With what little we had left, we built a new life, a small house, a small business. Something fragile, but ours.

“I’m fine,” I repeated gently. “Come on. We have work to do.”

She hesitated, then nodded.

—

Steam filled the bathhouse as I sank into the warm water, letting it wrap around me. For a moment, I allowed my body to relax but my mind never did.

Cecil entered quietly, placing fresh clothes nearby.

“How is everything outside?” I asked.

“Busy,” she replied with a soft smile. “People are excited about the new delicacy.”

I nodded, closing my eyes briefly.

“Cecil… how many times must I tell you?” I murmured. “Call me ‘young master.’”

She stilled. “I know… but…” Her voice softened. “How long will you keep living like this?”

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

“As long as I have to.”

There was no hesitation in my voice.

There couldn’t be…

I stepped out of the bath, water dripping down my skin. Cecil approached with the linen strips, her movements careful… almost hesitant.

She wrapped the cloth around my chest, pulling it tight.

Each layer pressed down more than just flesh. It erased me.

I flinched.

“Tighter than yesterday,” I said quietly.

She paused. “If I go any tighter, you won’t be able to breathe.”

“Better that,” I replied, meeting her eyes, “than the world finding out who I am.”

Her hands trembled but she continued.

“I’ll be fine,” I added, looking away. “I’ve been alone since that night.”

She didn’t argue. She never did.

When she finished, she brushed my hair gently, gathering it into a tight bun. The black pin slipped into place, my mother’s.

For a moment, I couldn’t breathe.

“Do you want to keep it?” she asked softly.

I shook my head. “No… it makes things harder.”

It is harder to forget and harder to survive.

She dressed me in a white under-tunic and a dark vest—heavy, structured, meant for someone stronger, someone like him.

I looked at my reflection.

Sharp lines. Straight posture. No softness left.

“I look like him,” I whispered. “My father.”

Cecil met my gaze in the mirror. “And he would be proud.”

My chest tightened.

I wished he could see me.

“Pearl!” i heard my name

I turned as Aunt May entered, her presence warm and familiar. I rushed into her arms without thinking.

“How was your trip?” I asked, holding onto her.

“I see you missed me,” she smiled, kissing my forehead.

“I always do.”

She pulled back, studying me. “You’ve grown thinner.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” I said quickly.

“You say that too often.”

I laughed lightly. “What? I’m a man, after all.”

Her expression darkened instantly.

“Do not joke about that.”

I froze.

“You can’t afford mistakes,” she said firmly. “Not in this world. Not under his rule.”

The Alpha.

Even the name carried weight.

No one had seen him. No one knew where he stayed. Only that he was powerful… and merciless. Some said his brides never survived the wedding night and others said they fled.

Either way, women weren’t safe.

“If he finds out who you are…” she continued, her voice breaking slightly, “I won’t lose you too.”

I softened, taking her hand. “You won’t.”

But even as I said it, I knew—

I couldn’t stay like this forever, I had dreams and I wanted to study. To fight, to grow stronger. I cannot be caged like this forever, I don't want to be that helpless child again.

“What are you thinking?” she asked.

I smiled. “Nothing.”

A lie.

—

Breakfast was quiet, too quiet. I barely tasted the food, my mind already racing ahead.

I had a plan.

A dangerous one and a necessary one.

I had saved money—secretly. I learned things I wasn’t supposed to. Met people I shouldn’t have.

And tonight…I would leave.

“Are you planning something?” Aunt May asked suddenly.

I almost choked.

“Of course not,” I said quickly, forcing a smile. “Your cooking is just distracting.”

She narrowed her eyes.

She didn’t believe me.

I stood abruptly. “I’m going out for a walk.”

“No.”

The word was sharp.

I turned.

Her grip tightened around my arm. “You’re not leaving this house.”

For a moment, I considered arguing.

But that would only make it worse.

“Alright,” I said calmly.

I walked back to my room.

And waited.

—

Hours passed and the house grew quiet.

The sun disappeared and the moment finally came. The door finally creaked open.

Cecil stepped inside, holding a tray but something in her expression was… wrong.

It was not calm nor gentle, she was afraid.

“My lady…” she whispered.

My chest tightened.

“What happened?”

She hesitated.

Then said the words that made my blood run cold…

“There are guards outside.”