Chp 1

Chapter 1 – Pearl

"Pearl, remember, no one should know you're a girl. You need to live as a boy for the rest of your life. I know it’s going to be very difficult for you, but this world is cruel, my loving daughter. I don't want anyone to harm you," my father whispered in a soft voice. I could hear the pain in his voice, caressing my cheek with his bloodstained hand of his own blood.

He laid in my lap, clutching the wound on his chest. I rested my cheek against his hand as he gave me a faint smile and gently tugged a lock of my hair. Then he slowly closed his eyes.

I couldn't stop crying. I held his cold hand tightly while my maid tried to free me from his grasp. I was only six at the time.

The male servants carried away my father's lifeless body and she scooped me up and ran toward the forest. The entire estate was in chaos.

"Mom! Dad! Please don’t leave me! How can I live without you? Please don’t do this to me!" I sobbed, tears streaming down my cheeks as I buried my head into the servant’s shoulder.

Without them, I was all alone. This world is ruthless, cold, and selfish. Anyone could take advantage of an orphaned girl like me.

Everything began to blur before my eyes. I dreamed of my parents and I tried to run toward them, but they vanished like smoke, and everything around me turned pitch black.

Where am I?

It felt like I was falling into a void, being consumed whole. Suddenly, I heard a faint voice calling out to me, and my head began to spin.

My vision was still blurry as I rubbed my eyes and sat up in bed. It was all a dream.

"My lady, are you okay?"

Cecil sat beside me, her eyes brimming with tears. I reached out and wiped them from her cheeks.

"I’m fine, Cecil. You don’t need to worry about me," I said in a soft voice, placing my hand on her cheek

She caught my hand and kissed it. "I was so worried, my lady. You always have these nightmares. I can’t bear to see you suffer."

Cecil was the one who stayed by my side through the hardest times. After losing my parents, I had nowhere to go. Our house had been burned down that fateful night. It was my aunt who rescued me.

With the few pieces of gold that we managed to recover, We purchased a small house. Now, she and I run a little business to make a living.

"I’m fine, Cecil. Let’s get back to work. We have a lot of customers waiting to try our new delicacy," I said, rising from the bed and walking toward the bathhouse.

Cecil had already prepared a warm bath for me.

I undressed and stepped into the tub, resting my arms on its edge. She entered the room, placing fresh clothes on the table. I looked at her and smiled.

"How’s everything going outside?" I asked.

"Everything is going well, my lady," she replied with a smile.

"Cecil, how many times must I tell you!, please call me ‘young master’?"

She hesitated. "I’m used to calling you ‘young lady.’ I know you’ve hidden your identity, but for how long will this go on?"

I opened my eyes and met her concerned gaze. I had to continue living like this. I had made a promise to my parents.

I got out of the tub. Cecil approached me with quiet care, as though I might shatter under her touch. She picked up the strip of linen and began to wrap it firmly around my chest. With each pass, I felt a little more of myself being pulled away, layer by layer, my softness was erased, replaced by the illusion I had to wear.

I flinched slightly as the cloth pressed tighter than before. “Tighter than yesterday,” I murmured, trying to keep my voice steady. It wasn’t a complaint. It was a necessity.

She paused. “If I go any tighter, you might not be able to breathe.”

I met her eyes. “Better than the world finding out who I am.”

Her fingers trembled briefly before continuing. I saw the hesitation in her eyes, the ache of wanting to protect me but knowing she couldn’t stop this. Not now. Not after everything.

“I’ll be alright,” I lied, looking away. “I’ve been alone since the night they died.”

Cecil said nothing to that. She never tried to soothe my grief with empty words. She just worked, silent and steady.

Once the binding was secure, she gently gathered my hair and brushed it through, smoothing the strands with care. Her hands were so warm. She twisted my hair into a tight bun, securing it with the black pin that had once belonged to my mother. My breath caught when I saw it in the mirror. My lips parted, but no words came.

“Do you want to keep the pin with you?” she asked gently.

I shook my head. “No. It’s better if I don’t carry anything sentimental. It makes it harder to let go.”

She nodded without question. Then, she helped me into a white under-tunic and layered the dark vest over it. It was stiff, heavy, meant for someone larger, stronger. Someone like my father. The embroidered threads glinted faintly in the light, but even that softness felt like it belonged to someone else.

When she knelt to lace my boots, I caught my reflection again. The lines of my face looked sharper now. My posture straighter. I barely recognized the person staring back.

“I look like him,” I whispered, voice catching. “My father.”

Cecil stood slowly, meeting my gaze in the mirror. “Yes,” she said, her voice calm and sure. “And he would be proud.”

Yes he would be very proud of me, he would have a daughter who would be just like a son to him, i wish he was alive. I would have learnt so much from him and most importantly the father's love that I crave for!!.

Aunt May entered the room with a warm smile. I rushed to her and hugged her tightly.

"How was your trip, Aunt May?" I asked, resting my head on her shoulder.

I had missed her terribly. The house felt empty without her. Her love helped me forget my pain.

She caressed my hair and kissed my forehead.

"I know you missed me, but I had important matters to attend to out of town," she said, sitting on the couch.

"You know, I could go on your behalf. I’m a guy, after all," I joked.

Disguised as a male, I could roam freely. Sometimes I even snuck out to meet friends. But Aunt May was always worried that I’d accidentally reveal my identity. That would be high treason—punishable by death.

The Alpha ruled our land—he was the strongest of them all, and no one dared challenge him. No one had seen him; he never stayed in one place and was constantly traveling. Rumor had it he hadn’t chosen a mate, and his parents were pressuring him to do so. Some said he killed his brides on their wedding night, while others said they fled.

The thought gave me chills. Even though he protected our pack, he was terrifying. And he definitely hated women.

I noticed Aunt May’s expression had changed. She looked as if I’d just committed a crime.

"How many times must I tell you, Pearl—you can’t wander the streets carelessly. It’s dangerous. Didn’t you hear the rumors about the Alpha’s past brides? If he finds out your identity, he won’t spare you."

She stood and cupped my cheeks, her eyes brimming with tears.

"I can’t lose you like I lost my sister. You’re the only precious thing I have left in this ruthless world."

I kissed her palm. I knew how worried she was. But I couldn’t stay trapped here. I wanted freedom.

I have dreams. First, I want to complete my education at the prestigious school I've heard about. Then, I would serve the pack as a soldier. I would train hard and become strong. That fateful night, I had been weak and helpless. But I would change. I would avenge my parents.

"What are you thinking, Pearl?" she asked, concerned.

I smiled faintly. "I’ll do as you say, Aunt May."

I knew I was lying. I had already made up my mind.

"That’s my good child. Now come, let’s have breakfast. It’s already noon. You woke up late again, next time, I won’t tolerate it," she scolded, heading to the kitchen.

I followed her, tugging gently at the hem of her dress like a child.

"Why do you always sound like Mom? You two are so much alike."

“She was my sister, Pearl. Everyone used to say we were so much alike. I wish she were here,” my aunt said as she poured soup into a bowl.

I loved listening to the stories she told me about my mom and dad. I didn’t get to spend much time with them, but hearing her stories helped me feel closer to them—like I was getting to know them through her words.

I walked toward my aunt and gently took the tray from her hands. “Let me help you.”

I placed the tray on the dining table. My aunt took a seat, and I sat across from her.

We said our prayers and began to eat. I stayed quiet throughout the meal, lost in my thoughts. I knew what I was going to do next. Aunt May would be furious, but she had to understand, she couldn’t keep me caged inside these four walls forever. I needed to find the true meaning of my life. To do that, I had to leave and explore the world outside.

I knew it wouldn’t be easy but I believed in myself. Luckily, behind my aunt’s back, I managed to earn some money gambling. My male friends had taught me a few tricks, and they turned out to be very useful. Unfortunately, they weren’t from our pack, and if they were ever discovered here, they could be killed. They had to leave.

I was so deep in thought that I didn’t realize my aunt was staring at me. I gave her an awkward smile. I was never good at hiding things, she could always read my face.

“Um… Aunt May, this soup is really good. I have to say, you’re an amazing chef,” I said, trying to change the subject.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Are you planning something, Pearl?”

Oh moon goddess!, How did she know I was up to something? Is my face really that easy to read? I seriously need to work on that, or I’m going to get caught one day.

“Why would I do anything stupid, Aunt? You already warned me about the consequences, so you don’t need to worry,” I said quickly.

I hoped she believed me. But I could tell she wasn’t convinced. Oh no… how am I going to sneak out now? She’ll definitely be watching me like a hawk. If I get caught, I’m doomed.

“I’m done with my meal, so I’m just going to walk the streets for a bit. I feel suffocated in here,” I said casually. I needed to get out before she grew more suspicious.

I reached the door, but just as I grabbed the handle, I felt someone grip my arm tightly. I turned—and it was Aunt May, her expression stern.

“You’re not going anywhere, Pearl. Go back to your room. Now,” she said sharply.

Her voice was serious. If I argued now, I’d just bring more trouble on myself.

I gave her a small smile. “Okay, Aunt. I’ll do as you say,” I replied, then hurried to my room.

Cecil followed me. I hadn’t told her about my plan yet but once I started putting it into action, I would tell her everything.

It had been six hours since I’d been locked in my room. Then, the door opened, and Cecil entered with a tray in her hands.