FAZER LOGINOver the following days, work progressed steadily and methodically. We began excavating the first trench, uncovering Iron Age pottery sherds and burnt stone. I continued to handle recording, and my contact with Theo increased, yet his behaviour remained contradictory and confusing.
One afternoon, when the other students were working in different areas, Theo and I were alone in the shelter processing a batch of freshly excavated pottery. We needed to wash, number and carry out a preliminary classification.
“This one has clear cord decoration,” Theo said, pointing to a dark brown sherd. “Typical Iron Age style.”
I took it and carefully cleaned it with a soft brush. “There's a perforation here, possibly a repair hole.”
“Brilliant,” Theo said, his voice softer. “A lot of people miss details like that.”
We worked side by side for over an hour, the atmosphere unexpectedly relaxed. Theo even told a story from the early days of his career that made me laugh. It was the first time I had seen him truly at ease, the lines at the corners of his eyes deepening with his smile.
But when Emma and another student entered the shelter, Theo immediately withdrew into his professional, distant manner. The change was so sudden and so obvious that it stung.
That evening, something small happened in camp, yet it unexpectedly brought Linus and me closer. After dinner, I realised I had left my field notebook at the excavation area. The rain had stopped, and moonlight filtered weakly through breaks in the clouds. I took a torch and walked back towards the site.
At the edge of a trench, I saw a figure. It was Linus, alone, crouched beside the freshly excavated area.
“Professor Alder?” I called softly.
He turned, the beam of his torch lighting his face. “What are you doing here?”
“I forgot my notebook.” I walked closer and saw he was examining something. “Have you found something?”
He shifted to make space. “Look here.”
I crouched beside him. In the section face of the trench, there was a distinct layer of dark grey soil, sharply different from the surrounding natural deposits.
“This is a cultural layer,” Linus explained, his voice unusually clear in the night air. “Traces left by human activity. See the charcoal flecks and bone fragments.”
I leaned in, the torch beam moving across the soil. “What does it mean?”
“It means people once lived here, made fires, cooked, made tools.” He paused. “This is what makes archaeology fascinating. Through these tiny traces, we form a connection with people in the past.”
In the moonlight, his profile looked softer. In that moment, he was not the distant professor, but an archaeologist sharing the quiet joy of discovery.
“Why did you choose archaeology?” I asked before I could stop myself.
He was silent for a while, and I thought he would not answer. Then he said quietly, “Because truth is buried underground, waiting to be uncovered. History is not only what's written in books. It has more layers, more secrets.”
We crouched there together, silence settling between us, but not in the uncomfortable way it usually did. It felt shared, a mutual calm, rooted in curiosity and respect for the past.
“I need your help,” Linus suddenly said, breaking the silence. “From tomorrow, I want you to take responsibility for integrating all the spatial data. Drone imagery, radar scans, excavation records, someone needs to bring them together into a single GIS model.”
I felt a rush of surprise. “I'd be happy to.”
He nodded and stood up. “Let's head back. It'll get colder.”
We walked back to camp together. His torch beam lit the path ahead of me. It was a small gesture, but it warmed me.
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The next day, Linus announced the change in duties. I spent more time in the equipment tent handling digital data, while Theo continued to oversee excavation. This meant more contact with Linus, and less with Theo.
One afternoon, Theo came into the equipment tent. I was processing a new batch of drone orthophotos, while Linus stood beside me, guiding me through image correction.
“We need to adjust tomorrow's excavation plan,” Theo said to Linus, his eyes flicking briefly towards me before shifting away. “Trench 3 has a possible hoard feature and needs more people.”
Linus nodded. “Move the team from Trench 4.”
Theo hesitated. “Actually, I'd like her to help. She's very strong on recording.”
“Her work here is critical,” Linus said calmly. “The GIS model needs to be finished quickly.”
There was a subtle tension between them, like two taut strings. Watching them, I suddenly realised this was about more than task allocation.
“I can do both,” I offered. “Mornings here, afternoons on site.”
Theo looked at me, his expression hard to read. “Alright.”
After he left, Linus turned to me. “You don't have to agree to every request.”
“I want to help,” I said honestly. “The excavation work matters too.”
Linus studied me, those grey eyes seeming to look straight through me. “Theo is an excellent field archaeologist, but sometimes he becomes too invested.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
But he had already turned back to the screen. “Carry on with the corrections. We need to keep the error under half a pixel.”
That night, an unexpected storm hit the camp. Violent winds nearly tore the dining tent loose. Everyone was mobilised to secure tents and rescue equipment.
In the chaos, I was tasked with moving some delicate instruments. Rain poured down, visibility was poor. I was carrying a total station through the mud when my foot slipped and I lost my balance.
A strong arm caught me just in time.
It was Theo. One hand steadied me, the other caught the instrument before it hit the ground. We stood there in the downpour, soaked, close enough for me to see the worry in his eyes.
“Careful,” he said, his voice barely audible over the rain.
“Thank you,” I said, breathless.
He did not let go immediately. In that moment, in the storm, something seemed to break open. His gaze no longer avoided mine, but met it directly, intensely. Rain ran from his hair, down his face.
“I…” he began, but did not finish, as Linus's voice called out nearby.
“Theo, I need you to help secure the equipment tent.”
Theo stepped back. “Coming,” he shouted, then ran into the rain.
I stood there, the instrument suddenly heavy in my arms. What had that look meant? Had I imagined it, or had it been real?
The storm lasted all night. By morning, the camp was in disarray, but thankfully nothing major was lost. Work continued, yet the atmosphere had changed. Theo grew quieter and more distant, while Linus became more focused, almost severe.
By the second week, we made a major discovery. In Trench 3, we uncovered an intact Roman pot filled with coins.
“This is a major find,” Theo announced, excitement spreading through the team. “We need to record the position of every single coin carefully.”
Everyone threw themselves into the work. I handled photography and documentation, Theo carefully cleared the soil around the vessel, and Linus used the total station to record the three dimensional coordinates of each coin.
We worked until dusk. When the last coin had been lifted, numbered and packed, we realised how dark it had become. The other students had already returned to camp, leaving just Linus, Theo and me in the shelter to finish the final records.
“This is a coin hoard,” Linus said, updating the GIS model on his tablet. “The dates span from Claudius I to Hadrian.”
“Which suggests long term occupation,” Theo added, turning a coin over in his hand. “Look at the wear on this one. It circulated for a long time.”
As I organised the photographs, I felt a deep sense of satisfaction. This was the appeal of archaeology, touching history, understanding how people in the past lived, thought and endured.
“You've done well today,” Linus said, standing up. “Get some rest.”
Theo stood too, stretching his stiff shoulders. “You two go ahead. I'll double check the equipment.”
Linus nodded and gestured for me to leave with him. As we stepped outside, the night sky was clear, stars scattered above us. The English countryside felt profoundly quiet, a stark contrast to London's light pollution.
“You've done very well,” Linus said suddenly. “Not just today, but throughout the project.”
I looked at him in surprise. It was the first time he had offered such direct praise.
“Thank you,” I replied softly. “I've learned a lot.”
“Not just technically,” he continued, his voice gentler than usual. “You have the most important qualities of an archaeologist, patience and curiosity.”
We walked back towards camp under the moonlight. In that moment, I felt closer to Linus than ever before. Perhaps, just perhaps, the feelings I had carried for so long were not entirely hopeless.
But when I glanced back towards the shelter, I saw Theo standing in the doorway, watching our retreating figures. In the light behind him, his silhouette looked lonely and heavy.
The international archaeology conference was held in Vienna, and the scale was impressive. Linus and I attended together. I was presenting a short paper on digital archaeology methods, while Linus was one of the chairs of the Digital Humanities and Archaeology panel. I expected a purely academic trip. Then, in the crowded lobby of the conference centre, I saw a figure that almost stopped my heartbeat.Theo.He had grown leaner. The polar wind had carved his face into sharper lines. His skin carried a healthy bronze tone, yet his eyes were calmer than I remembered, like a deep glacial lake. He wore a rough Greenland wool jumper and was speaking with several Scandinavian archaeologists. His laughter was open, touched by a kind of wild confidence I didn't recognise.He saw us too. His smile froze for a second, then shifted into a restrained nod. Linus returned the gesture and placed his arm naturally around my shoulder, a quiet declaration of possession.Throughout the conference, the th
For a while my thesis pressure was intense, my sleep was poor, and my moods shifted like London weather, bright one hour and grey the next. Linus had just finished a complex simulation, something involving settlement distribution modelling and predictive site location, and he seemed quietly pleased. We had a bit of wine. Slightly tipsy, we drifted closer without really thinking about it. At first, everything unfolded as usual, gentle, gradual, familiar.But whether it was exhaustion, stress, or some hidden corner of me still comparing without admitting it, my body would not fully relax. I could not let go. Linus was patient. He tried different rhythms, different ways of touching, attentive as ever. Yet I felt as if there were frosted glass between us. I could sense his warmth and his effort, but I could not reach that point where everything dissolves. In the end, we stopped in a dull, unfinished fatigue.In the dark, we lay side by side, listening to each other breathe. I could feel th
For the three days after that, the three of us were caught in a strange deadlock. No one suggested leaving Amman, and no one tried to mention that night. During the day, we behaved like ordinary colleagues. We went to the hospital for Theo's follow up checks, stood in silence at the edge of the site, and discussed minor archaeological finds that didn't matter. At night, we returned to our own rooms, the boundaries clear. Yet the shadow of that night was everywhere, so any normal conversation felt false and almost absurd.Theo grew more withdrawn with each passing day. The wound on his arm was healing, but something in his eyes had fractured. He no longer tried to approach me in private, and when he looked at me, there was a complicated pain in his gaze.On the third evening, we found ourselves sitting together on the hotel's bare rooftop. Below us, the old city of Amman lit up slowly in the dusk. Theo took a long drink of the local beer, foam resting on his upper lip, and did not both
The night air in Amman was dry and rough, carrying the scent of distant desert. By the time Linus found the cheap hotel on the basis of vague leads, it was already late. The receptionist was half asleep and responded to his unclear English by pointing upstairs.He climbed the narrow stairs, the old floorboards groaning underfoot. The corridor was dim, with only a faint light spilling from a door at the far end. The closer he got, the clearer the sounds became. Not voices, but a suppressed mixture of breath, whimpering, and the sounds of bodies colliding.All the blood rushed to his head in an instant, then froze into ice the next second. Linus stopped outside the door, his hand on the rough wooden surface, feeling the faint vibration from inside. Sylvia's face, London's rain, Cambridge's dusk, all his reason, principles, and painfully maintained discipline were crushed to dust by the raw images and sounds leaking through the crack.He did not shout. He did not rage. Cold and heat expl
A few days earlier, Linus had mentioned that there was an important interdisciplinary seminar at the department on Friday afternoon, and that he would be back late. I hadn't thought much of it. That Friday afternoon, I needed to use the computer in his study that was connected to the departmental server to look up some material. When I turned it on, an email notification popped up. The sender was “Sylvia”, the subject line read “Additional data and model adjustments following today's seminar”, and it had been sent an hour earlier.“Following today's seminar”. Had they attended the same seminar? Or had they made separate plans afterwards?Without thinking, I clicked on the email. It was long, full of technical language and attached figures, clearly serious academic discussion. But in the final paragraph, Sylvia wrote, “Thank you again for your support at the seminar today and for the in depth discussion afterwards. Your insights into dynamic visibility threshold models were incredibly
I was in Linus's study looking for an old file when I pulled out a thick volume called Integrated GIS Approaches in Mediterranean Archaeology. Inside was a sticky note with Linus's handwriting, listing a few questions and a website. That meant nothing. But on the back of the note was another line of writing, neat and careful, in German. “To Professor Alder, thank you for your guidance. This ocean of intellect has gained its lighthouse because of you. S.”S, Sylvia.The note was new, the ink clear. This was a book Linus had been consulting recently. That meant Sylvia's note was kept in a book he touched almost every day.I held that thin piece of paper and started shaking. It was more lethal than any flirtatious message. Because it lived in the very centre of Linus's inner world, the place that symbolised his reason and intellect. Sylvia's thanks were so refined, so perfectly aligned with his values. This was something I had never given him. What I brought him were emotional storms, ph







