Hollow marriage

SASHA’S POV

"How long has it been again, Sasha?" Nina, my best friend, asked, taking a sip from her hot coffee as the steam rose and dispersed into the air. “You’ve been married for three years, but sorry to say, you look happier when you were single.”

A sad smile stretched on my lips as I wrapped my fingers around the coffee mug, letting the hotness burn through the palm of my hand.

“Has it been that long?” I raised a brow, bringing the mug to my lips and took a sip.

“Roland does not love you. You should know that by now.” Nina said, her voice trailing off in vulnerability.

Was she right? Totally, yes. But why do I still cling onto a glimmer of hope that a day would come when my husband, Roland, would acknowledge me and love me the way I love him?

“I do know that, Nina. But I love him.” My voice strained as tears wet my eyes, threatening to fall.

I pinched myself to stop the tears because we were in a public cafe and eyes were on me.

Being a wife of a billionaire made me the target for the public and shedding tears would definitely get me to the top of news headlines and blogs.

‘Why was Mrs. Conrad crying in a public space? Is she really suffering in her marriage?’

Such headlines would cause a lot of problems for Roland and that was the last thing I wanted.

He is my husband and I want the best for him, despite it being one-sided.

“At this rate, Sasha, your love can’t save your marriage, just take a look at this,” Nina’s expression was filled with worry as she stretched her phone across the table, showing me a photo which I’ve come to dread so much.

‘Roland Conrad with his childhood crush. Doesn’t this call for an impending doom on his marriage with his wife!’

My throat bobbled up and down and my eyes stay glued to the photo below the headlines.

In the photo, stood my husband with his childhood crush, Anastasia, making their way into a five star hotel. His large hands held her waist in a protective manner, while she flashed him a sweet smile.

“See? Your husband doesn’t regard you, because if he does, he wouldn’t openly disgrace and drag your name through the mud.”

Nina wasn’t making it any easier. Her words cut through my chest like a dagger and the urge to release those tears became almost unbearable.

The hold on Nina’s phone tightened as I scrolled through the comment section.

Everyone was gushing over how good they looked together and it made jealousy rise up my throat, that it became almost impossible to brush off.

I raised my gaze towards Nina whose brows arched in worry. “This doesn’t matter, Nina. They might be having an important meeting at the hotel.”

I knew it was a total lie. I was lying and fooling myself, but that was the best defense I could put on.

“Divorce him, Sasha, before he makes a mockery of your name by openly announcing her as his girlfriend.”

Any woman in her right state of mind would do as Nina had suggested, but I was far too gone in love to divorce Roland.

I had chased him during college days and even begged my grandfather to get us married.

I just couldn’t throw three years, six months and five days into the mud just because my husband’s childhood crush returned to Boston.

“I will handle it, Nina. Don’t worry.” I forced a smile as I placed the phone on the table and rose to my feet. “Let’s leave. I need to prepare dinner for my husband.”

Nina sighed but I was glad she didn’t drag the matter any further.

During the drive back home, I couldn’t stop thinking of the photo from earlier.

The hold on the steering tightened at the slightest thought of Roland cheating on me with his childhood crush.

I was the one who stood by him through thick and thin. We both worked hard to build his company into one of the best in Boston.

When we were struggling, where was his childhood crush? She was busy gallivanting in California with different actors from one club to another.

But now that she has arrived, she wants to ruin the marriage I worked hard to build. I would never let her take Roland from me.

A sudden determination to win my husband’s love overwhelmed me and a plan to have him all to myself concocted in my head.

With the help of the house help, I was able to prepare dinner, take a scented bath and wore one of my numerous lingeries, which I bought over the past three years, trying to win my husband’s love.

I sat in the sitting room, watching my favorite show, while waiting for him to return home.

Hours flew by before his arrival and once he did, I led him towards the dining area.

“I’m not hungry, Sasha. I already ate with some business partners.”

Jealousy filled my chest, but I managed to push it down with a smile.

I knew the business partner he was speaking about was Anastasia, his childhood crush.

I folded my fists, digging it into the palm of my hands, almost drawing out blood.

“Oh, I didn’t know.” A tight smile stretched on my lips as I followed closely behind him to our bedroom upstairs.

Pain flashed in my eyes at the realization that he never looked at me to even notice how I dressed sexy just for him.

I watched closely from the bed as he took off his tie and ripped off his shirt before disappearing into the bathroom for a cold shower.

While he was gone, I stripped myself naked and laid on the bed with my legs wide open.

Other than the first time, Roland has never had sex with me in three years. And that first time was a drunken mistake.

Soon, he returned and paused upon seeing me laying naked on the bed.

Pain clawed at my chest due to the way he stared at me……like a slut, but I swallowed down the shame of being regarded as a slut.

With a slurry voice, I said. “Come have sex with me, Roland. I missed your touch.”

He stood still, not reacting and when he eventually did, irritation coated his features for a second before returning back to coldness.

“I’m too tired to please you, Sasha, maybe next time.”

Tears welled up in my eyes at his words.

“You’ve not touched me in two years, Roland. I’m barely holding out.” My voice trailed off as tears fell down my flushed cheeks.

Roland looked at me for a second before taking off his boxers.

Without warning or whatsoever, he positioned himself and thrusted deep into me, leaving me with no time to adjust to his size.

Despite his rough thrusts, a moan filled with pain and pleasure tore off my lips as I arched my back.

If only we could be this intimate always. I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to have sex with Roland, while he growls out my name from his pretty lips.

But unfortunately, I don’t see that happening any time soon because his next words tore through my determination to win him back. Broke through my facade and destroyed the last glimmer of hope I had left.

“Fuck… Anastasia, you’re so tight.”