Necessary Change

Karen

I had no idea how long I had been sprawled on the couch, still wearing the same clothes I had worn to leave the hospital and go to Max's apartment, something that seemed to have happened centuries ago. The pain of betrayal cuts deeper than I could imagine. The tears had dried up, but I still hadn't fully processed the scene in that damned traitor's living room.

At that moment, the annoying sound of the doorbell began to echo through the apartment. Initially, I ignored it, hoping that the person on the other side would understand that I wasn't willing to receive visitors. However, the insistence only grew, and the doorbell continued to ring, tirelessly. I glanced at the clock on the wall, hoping that time had passed faster than I realized, but each second seemed like an eternity.

With no notification from the front desk about visitors, I finally realized it could only be one person: Camila, my best friend and apartment neighbor. The thought of facing someone in the sorry state I was in now terrified me, but Camila's persistence outweighed any resistance I might have.

Summoning all the remaining willpower within me, I rose from the couch with a deep sigh and dragged my feet to the door. As I opened the door, I wasn't surprised to see Camila standing there, ready to ring the doorbell once more.

She looked at me with concern in her eyes, instantly recognizing the emotional turmoil I was facing. Her face expressed compassion, and I knew I didn't need to say a word.

"I already know what happened," she said softly, offering a hug that I gladly accepted. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to, but I couldn't leave you alone."

As she stepped into my apartment, I realized that I truly needed someone to confide in. Keeping it all to myself could only cause even greater harm.

As Camila prepared something in the kitchen for what would be our late dinner, I poured my heart out to her about the whole misadventure that had happened that day. The words flowed without filter, laden with pain and anger. Camila listened attentively, offering words of comfort when needed and maintaining a sympathetic gaze.

The kitchen wafted with the comforting smell of the food being prepared, but my stomach was too tight to even consider the idea of eating. Still, Camila insisted, showing care in a way only she knew how. I accepted the meal more out of not wanting to oppose her than out of real appetite.

As we sat down at the table, I thanked her for her kindness. It was at that moment that something Camila said when she arrived at my apartment began to echo in my mind. I looked up at her and asked, almost casually, how she found out about what happened.

Camila hesitated for a moment before admitting:

"It was Max. He called me, asking for help."

Those words hit me like a bomb in my chest. Max, the traitor, dared to intrude on my pain, seeking help from my best friend. Anger grew inside me, mixed with pain and betrayal.

"He... he called you?" My voice came out in a whisper full of disbelief.

Camila nodded, concern etched on her face.

"He was so distraught, Karen. He feared you might do something to yourself. He said he would never forgive himself if anything happened."

Those words were like knives being plunged into my wounded heart. At no point had the idea of doing anything so drastic crossed my mind, and the fact that Max had considered it made me hate him even more.

********

I did not doubt that the night ahead would be long, and filled with tumultuous thoughts. Camila, despite all her concerns, had already left, leaving me alone to ponder Max's words.

Lying in my bed, I couldn't stop thinking about how self-centered Max was. The whole situation was about him and his petty justifications, without caring about the impact his actions had on me. I felt like I had been robbed of years of my life, years I had dedicated to building a future with someone who didn't deserve my time.

I tossed and turned until dawn, reflecting on my life and everything I had sacrificed over the past few years in the name of a relationship that was now unraveling before my eyes. The hope of a future with Max had turned to ashes, and I felt lost.

As the day began to break, I managed to sleep a little, but upon waking up, I felt even more tired than before. I silently thanked myself for not having to work in the next few days, as the doctor had given me medical leave and recommended rest.

It was then, amidst these reflections, that the idea of a trip emerged. Leaving Curitiba, leaving behind the painful memories and the certainty that I wouldn't encounter Max, Lilian, or any other unpleasant person would be very appropriate for the moment.

I remembered Camila's proposal: the planned vacation in Fernando de Noronha with a group of friends. At the time when I was immersed in plans with Max, I declined the invitation. However, now everything was different. The trip not only seemed like a great option but also an urgent necessity to reconnect with myself.

I immediately texted Camila.

"Of course, you are very welcome, friend!" Camila replied, expressing excitement. "We have exactly two days, but I'll help you organize everything."

"Thank you, friend. You have no idea how much I need this trip."

"But of course I do! You're being very sensible in deciding to take a break from everything. I must admit I'm surprised, but also very happy."

Even as I faced the pain and exhaustion, a spark of excitement ignited at the prospect of a change of scenery. The idea of starting the emotional healing process away from familiar places brought me a comforting relief.

The two days passed before me in the blink of an eye, with Camila and me immersed in last-minute preparations for the trip. Between packing our bags, ensuring documents were in order, and making a list of what we needed to bring, I managed to keep my mind occupied, easing some of the burdens I carried.

As we boarded the plane bound for Fernando de Noronha, a mixture of nervousness and excitement coursed through my body. Camila, with a huge smile, commented on the cost of the trip.

"I can't believe we spent so much money on a five-day trip!" she complained, but her smile betrayed her excitement.

"Me neither!" We chuckled together conspiratorially. "But I promise I'll make it worth it. Believe me!"