Done Waiting to Be Seen

Willa's POV

The girl in front of me vanished.

I gripped the acceptance letter until my knuckles ached, and pain twisted through my chest.

Working myself to the bone to prove I was worth something was never going to earn their love, so I was done wanting anything from them.

...

When I got home, Mom was in the living room packing Tessa's suitcase.

She tucked a carefully organized bag of medication inside, murmuring as she went.

"Your stomach's delicate. Don't leave the backup meds behind."

Tessa hung off Mom's arm.

"Mom, my acceptance letter hasn't even come yet. Isn't it way too early to pack?"

Mom smoothed her hair, doting.

"Too early? If we wait until move-in week, we'll forget half of it."

Dad couldn't help with the packing, so he pulled out his phone and sent money instead.

"Buy whatever you want. Don't go without anything."

Tessa opened the notification, saw the number, and nearly came out of her chair.

"Five thousand? Dad, you're the best."

Then something occurred to her, and she asked him with a conspiratorial look, "Dad, how much did you send Willa?"

She asked that every single time our parents transferred money.

With me standing right there, they always said the amounts were the same.

They hadn't noticed me yet.

So I wanted to know too. How much did Dad give me when I wasn't in the room?

Dad laughed, a little helpless.

"Same as always. This one's just for you. I'm not sending her anything."

My toe slammed into the threshold.

The dull thud turned every head in the living room toward me.

Their smiles were still there, frozen and unnatural.

I couldn't help mocking myself. I'd always known they favored Tessa, so why did it still hurt?

Cameron's brows drew together, and he did what he always did and broke the awkwardness by blaming me.

"Gone all morning, and you finally turn up right at mealtime.

"You were slacking off. You just didn't want to help Tessa pack.

"I'll give you a chance to make up for it. Memorize this."

He walked over and pushed a list into my hand.

[Tessa's skin breaks out easily. Air her bedding out once a week.]

[Tessa sleeps in. Have her breakfast bought and ready every morning.]

...

I stopped reading. The rest was more of the same, all of it about how to take care of Tessa.

I pushed the list back at him.

"I'm not memorizing it."

I said it quietly, but the room went cold.

Maybe they were just too used to me being agreeable.

It took a long moment before Evan finally looked at me, unhappy.

"Do you have any idea how long that list took me?

"Tessa has asthma. The three of us are going to the same school. Looking out for each other is the least we can do."

He said it with such conviction that I laughed.

"Every line on there is me taking care of Tessa. You call that looking out for each other?"

Before he could answer, Mom weighed in with the patient, reasonable tone she saved for correcting me.

"Willa, Evan's not wrong. You're mature, you're independent, you can handle hardship, and you're the older sister. You should be looking after her."

My nails dug into my palms.

Ever since they tracked me down and brought me home at fifteen, the line I heard most was that the older sister ought to give a little more to Tessa.

I'd grown up on a farm, so they simply assumed I was tough and could take it.

Even though I was the Carvers' biological daughter, the girl they'd raised themselves always came first.

It wasn't as though I'd never cried about it. "Tessa and I are the same age. Why do I always have to give in?"

They told me that once Tessa got into college, they'd make it up to me.

I believed them.

I wanted their approval too badly.

For three years I never competed with Tessa for anything.

The one selfish thing I let myself do came when applications were due.

Without telling a soul, I sent mine to Aldercrest.

I'd been saving it to surprise them today.

If I hadn't met the version of myself from seven days out, I'd still be sitting here hoping like an idiot.

The ache in my chest sharpened.

I looked at Mom and answered her seriously.

"If Evan cares that much about Tessa, let him take care of her."

After all, the two of them were the ones going to Maplehurst State.

I was going to Aldercrest.