Onze

Leah Monroe

I drank in the silence of the kitchen as I filled my cereal bowl with milk. I needed it, especially with the dreadful day I had today and yesterday, mostly because I hid from Xander the entire day. Feeling self conscious wasn't a great feeling. There was this constant sinking feeling that I wasn't good enough for him.

I didn't know where I got the courage from as I got on my knees yesterday. But it felt good to just let go and do something that I wanted to do for once. But when have I ever made a decision for me and it didn't backfire?

Shit. A sick feeling washed over me every time I thought about it, followed by a chilling realization. That night was like a broken record, playing over and over again in my head. How I fell on my knees, practically begging to suck him off. The striking look in his eyes as he rejected me.

I felt horrible, I thought crying would've helped but it didn't. I guess that's what happens when you get rejected for the first time by a man, and that ma