Chapter 1: Innocent Culprit

Sarah Codache

The prismatic ambiance around me dissolved into opaque. The busy corridor turned more chaotic and blurred. People walked everywhere inside this vast concrete building as they vanished into thin air, leaving nothing but deep traces of their footsteps. 

While I sat beside a stall full of dresses with varied necklines, I roamed my eyes around and found my mother and sister choosing some fancy outfits. I patiently waited for them to finish until I found myself tapping my feet on the ground while slouching. 

Suddenly, a man approached me with a triangular-shaped sandwich with slices of mangoes in his hands. He's wearing a leathered-powder-colored jacket and marmalade feathered deck shoes.

"Do you want some? You look hungry." Insisting on the urge to give his food, he let out a smile with his deep-set eyes looking at me, which brought comfort and trust to take the sandwich. Although I do not know what he was saying, the word 'hungry' was familiar to me. It's a term given by mom every time I felt something wandering inside my stomach. 

With crinkle eyes, I nodded and immediately grabbed the food. 

As I was eating, I heard him sighed. His mood suddenly changed. When he glanced towards the translucent window, his deep-set eyes became soothing. I looked at him with a furrowed brow for a while before focusing on what was outside that window. 

"Finally, the rain stops dropping like angry lions." He giggled. Then his consciousness went back to me. "So? Is the sandwich tasty?" He babbled while leaning forward. 

I did not reply. He bowed his head and had trouble maintaining eye contact when I looked at him. 

I continued eating while waiting for his response. At this time, I only heard my own teeth bumping with each other. I wanted him to listen to my voice saying the sandwich was delicious, but I did not feel like I need to tell him with reasons that I barely can explain. 

He let out a deep breath. "Anyway, whose with you right now? It seems like you're alone." He resumed while roaming his eyes around us. His soothing deep-set eyes turned snooty. His right hand was grabbing something sharp in between his jacket. 

What was that?

My hands were slowly shaking without noticing it in the first place. Due to that, I immediately mishandled the sandwich. 

And the last time I knew, I was screaming, causing the people to feel unsafe. Their sharp eyes were looking at me like newly sharpened arrows. I even heard the sparse of everyone's voice saying 'I was crazy' and 'uneducated' as I nervously looked around them with a disorganized mind. I can feel my heart and breathing were racing towards the peak of my consciousness. 

I ran towards the counter full of crimson fascinator hats and threw them away! Some people froze and stared with wide eyes; some narrowed their eyes while creasing their bow. I continued to scream. I even did not notice that the man a while ago was no longer here. 

Until such time, my mother and sister came with increased breathing. They both squinted their eyes shut. My mom consoled me as she tried to make me still while my sister was standing much faraway from us. 

"Sarah, honey, please calm down." My mom pleaded with teary eyes. She used her full strength to stop me from using my hands to destroy things. However, no matter what she did, I still managed to escape until she released me. 

"Mom! Can we go home now? I'm tired." My sister, Sophia, yelled. I was staring at her, hoping to help mom but, she quickly turned away until I can no longer vividly see her.

-

"Autism? You mean people with craziness?" I can hear the distant echoing the voice of my sister.

"No, I mean-autisms are not crazy." Mom stepped with her hands on her chest while her feet were pointed towards Sophia.

"Eh?" She lets out an exasperated sigh, leaned back to the wall while crossing her arms. She paused for a while before she began to speak while my mother was trying to console the rough atmosphere between them. 

I hope everything is okay.

"She's turning herself around while having a tiptoe. And the worst, she even screamed a fury in the middle of the mall without any reason. Do these characteristics considered to be what crazy people do?" Sophia hissed aggressively ran her hands through her hair.

"Sophia, what you are talking about is schizophrenia, not autism." Mom insisted, stepped towards Sophia with a smile. It seems like mom wanted to have an optimistic atmosphere. 

I can see from my room how my sister rolled her eyes in front of mom. 

But my mom looks persistent in arguing with my sister, so she breathed for a while before she faced Sophia with quivering lips. She held one of Sophia's hands before she continued. "I know what you feel, Sophia. Yes, it's hard, but I'm her mom, and she's your sister. There's nobody else who will stand for her except the both of us." My mom's eyes were teary, and so was my sister. 

I leaned towards the door of my room to clearly see what they were talking about. I saw Sophia wiped her tears away, but she still rebuked. "But she's so annoying! She's very useless! I am tired of facing all of those laughter, judgments, and bullying all because of her!" 

"Abandon Sarah, mom." Resisting the impulse to stomp her foot, she let out her breath in a huff and turned away, leaving mom speechless.

My mom carefully leaned towards the wall-gradually made herself sat down on the floor where the picture of the whole family was mounted. She was looking straight towards nowhere, and tears continued dropping all over her face. 

She was crying without noise. 

I was too distracted by what was happening. Because of this, I slowly stepped outside of my room towards my mom. As soon as I stood a few steps away from her, she faced me with a gentle smile. I was fascinated by the way her protruding caramel eyes touched mine. She immediately stood up and wiped her tears using her bare hands. 

She held my shoulders and murmured with a smile painted on her face. "Oh-ah... Do you want something?" 

I exclaimed. Definitely! 

"You want something yellow?" She hinted with extreme excitement. I quickly nodded, showing her how delighted I was.

"I knew it! You want mangoes!"

Yay!

We jumped together, and mom hugged me tightly.