CHAPTER 5

The days passed slowly and lonely for Meg, inside that room. James avoided her, and this made her even more distressed, and she remained under the care of the maids, until she recovered. Every now and then she heard Angelina's irritated voice echoing through the corridors, complaining about something. And Angelina always complained. 

 While looking at the walls, Meg thought about her uncertain future in that house, and in that family. She knew that her days there were numbered, for Angelina would not allow her to stay for long. And Meg didn't want to marry William, because she didn't love him. So she had to find a solution.  She thought that maybe she could work as a piano teacher, a maid, or as a worker in a textile factory. And all of these options looked bad. 

Her reflection in the mirror told her that she was still down.  

She left her room for the first time since she had been ill. She sat down on the stool to play the piano in an empty room.  Meg played Martha's favorite tune, strumming the keys trying not to cry. Meg had known heaven and hell in a short time and at that very moment she was in purgatory. 

While Meg was playing, James appeared in the doorway. She stopped abruptly, startled by his sudden presence. He stood there, silent with his eyes fixed on her.  

 "How are you feeling?" he asked, entering the room. 

"I feel better," Meg replied, feeling the flush on her face and her heart racing. 

"That's good," James replied, smiling gently. 

Time seemed to freeze as they stared at each other in silence. The gleam in his brown eyes mesmerized her. She thought she wouldn't mind spending the rest of her life there, just admiring James' beauty.  For a moment, she had the feeling that they were the only two people in the world. 

"Are you avoiding me?" she finally asked. 

"Yes. I do." 

"Why?" 

 His almond-colored eyes fell on her, so dubious. Meg felt a tension in the air, as if something was about to happen. It was then that James took a deep breath and began to speak.

"It was my fault, all my fault. Mom died because of me," James confessed. 

Meg was shocked. She remembered clearly the night her mother passed away, they had a horrible fight, but she never imagined that James felt responsible. 

"Don't say that," she said, trying to comfort him and going to him. 

"But it's true," James continues. "You were there and saw everything. The guilt is consuming me." 

Meg felt a deep sadness for him. She knew how much James loved his mother and how that guilt must have been eating away at his heart. Before she could say anything, James continued, "Before she died, our mother made one last request." 

Meg looked at him, distressed. "What request?" she asked. 

"That you marry William Barton, and that I take care of that marriage," James replied, in a dramatic, heavy tone. 

Meg was paralyzed. She lacked air and words at that moment.  She knew Martha was obsessed with the marriage between her and William, but she thought it would be a passing schism, she never imagined it would be her last request. "And what did you answer?" asked Meg, still not believing what she was hearing. 

"I promised her that I would make sure you married William, but now I don't know what to do. I know this is hard for you, and for me too, but I promised our mother that I would honor her last request," James confessed in anguish. 

Meg felt a mixture of emotions. On the one hand, she knew Martha was worried, but on the other hand, she couldn't marry someone she didn't love.  

"I don't want to get married," she spoke with conviction. "You can't decide that for me." 

They looked at each other once more. And Meg was sure there was something more to be said, but James said nothing, he just shut up.

Angelina entered the room with a worried charged expression, removing the hat that adorned her head. "Ah, there you are. I see Meg is already feeling better," she said with a tone of relief in her voice. 

Meg replied with a weak smile, "I feel better already." 

James wasted no time and asked, "Where have you been? Did you go out alone?" 

Angelina sat down on the couch, still with a worried expression, "My dear, I am one of the organizers of the charity ball, remember?" she said in a disapproving tone. 

"You don't talk about anything else," James replied in a dismissive tone. 

With the situation cleared up, Angelina returned to the question that really plagued her, "Now that Meg is better, can we arrange for her to return to our home? I have many things to do." 

But James' response was unexpected: "I think we will stay here permanently." 

Surprised, Angelina asked, "Why?" 

"I grew up here. This house has belonged to my family for generations, I don't want to leave it locked up," James explained. 

 The news filled Meg's heart with joy, but she knew how to control her emotions in front of Angelina, she would not poke the jaguar with a short stick.  

"I like it there," his wife protested. 

"You can go there whenever you wish," James replied. 

"I'm feeling unwell, so I'm going to lie down for a while." 

In recent days, a worry about the future has consumed Meg intensely. However, she now feels that this worry is dissipating, at least for now.  

At the end of the day, Mr. Abraham paid James a visit and they both locked themselves in the office, staying there for hours on end. Meg didn't know about it, but she suspected that they were discussing her fate. Curious, she approached the office door and tried to listen to the conversation behind it. Only muffled murmurs and low words, yet one sentence was very clear: "They will get married as soon as the mourning is over."