Chapter One

Jennifer Sawyer stared out the window at the children playing in the park across the street. She’d sat in this exact spot often enough that the sight was as familiar as the view out of her own windows at home. She even recognized a few of the kids; she noted idly that the girl in the green hat was toddling now, and that her older brother had a new winter coat.

Lori Donovan watched Jenny quietly. She knew that the woman was at a critical place right at the moment, and Lori wanted to give Jenny the time that she needed to make her decision. These things couldn’t be rushed, Lori knew, and so she sat and waited.

Jenny turned to Lori now. “OK, I’m ready to talk about it.”

Lori nodded. “So. Tell me about touching Dallas.”

Jenny sighed. “I – I can’t explain what happened. He was just so upset about Liv being so badly hurt, and the fact is that Dallas had just killed someone. I know that he had no choice at all in the matter, and it’s not like it was the first time he’d done that… but it still wasn’t easy for him to pick up that rifle and do what he did.” She bit her lip. “And he’s just such a big guy, you know? Strong, and a trained killer, and when I saw him sitting there like that, hurting and all alone, I just – I don’t know. I just wanted to help him.”

“And you thought that touch was the best way?”

“I thought it was the only way.” Jenny tucked her long blonde hair behind her ears. “It seemed like the only way to really offer him any comfort.”

“And how did it feel to make physical contact with him? Were you frightened?”

“No.” Jenny breathed out. “No. I felt… connected to him. Like, emotionally. I knew it helped him for me to hold his hand, and I was happy to be able to do that for him.”

“Did it help you? Did it make you feel better?”

“Yes.” Jenny looked down at her hands, remembering Dallas’ touch on them. “I was so afraid for Liv, you know. And when Dallas was right there next to me, it calmed me down a bit.”

Lori leaned back. Jenny had been coming to her once a week for almost six years now, and this was the first time that Jenny had made a connection between male touch and positive emotions.

My God. I think it’s time.

“Jenny.”

Jenny looked up at Lori; her blue eyes met the therapist’s green ones.

“Can we talk again about surrogacy?”

Jenny sighed again. “Yes… yes. I think – I think I’m ready to explore that.”

Lori smiled. “I think you are, too.”

“And you’re right, what you said a few weeks ago when we last talked about it.” Jenny looked back out the window at the children. “I don’t think a professional is the best option for me. I think it needs to be him.”

“Good.” Lori leaned forward, her long black hair falling around her serious face. “Let’s discuss how you can broach the subject with him, OK? How to answer his questions, and how to deal with it if he says no.”

Jenny nodded. “OK.”