Chapter One

“Is it another woman Simon?” My voice echoed through the silent office slicing the air thick with tension. Another silence followed as the man I was talking to barely acknowledged my presence.

“Simon answer me!...Do you hate me now? Are you tired of me? Is that what this is about? I continued, my loud voice trembling with sadness laced with anger. I felt my stomach twist and a full ache tugged at my chest.

Simon slowly raised his eyes from the laptop that sat on his desk, his expression darkening. His grey eyes glared at me. They used to be my favorite but now they made me anxious.

I shot a tearful glare back at him and he exhaled sharply before softening his gaze.

“What are you talking about Nana?” his cold clear voice finally broke out. I could sense a hint of irritation in them. “Why do you always have to do this?”

“I don’t understand you anymore Simon” my frustration spilled. “Do you still love me?” My shaky voice almost breaking into a full sob. “Did I do something?”

“You didn’t do anything Nana, why do you always have to be so difficult?” he replied as another deep sigh escaped his mouth. His eyes hardened back sending a twinge of pain through my heart.

“No Simon! You’ve been distant and cold to me, you’re doing it again!” I continued. The last few weeks, my loving husband began treating me like a stranger in our house and barely spoke to me at work too.

At first I thought it was just me being paranoid but soon I realized that wasn’t the case, something changed in Simon and I couldn’t shake off the anxiety that clung to me.

“And that’s why you think I’m seeing another woman?... Is that what you really think of me Nana… a cheat?” Simon’s voice jolted me back to the office. He no longer masked the irritation he felt by my presence or accusations.

A sharp pin of guilt pricked me and I averted his gaze for a moment. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “Look Simon, I’m sorry… I don’t want to fight. I just want to understand what’s going on with you. You’ve been so… different.”

He leaned back In his chair, a bored look in his eyes. “Nana, I told you, I’m just busy. Not everything is about you or some dramatic issue you’ve invented in your head”

His words stung, but I tried to keep my composure. “Invented? Simon, I’m your wife. I know when something’s wrong. You barely look at me anymore, barely touch me. If there’s something-”

He cut me off with a harsh laugh, rolling his eyes. “There you go again… and the first thing that came to your mind was me cheating, you must think really lowly of me I see”

“Simon I swear, it’s nothing like that, I was just scared-”

He cut me off again “… It’s always something with you, isn’t it? Maybe if you didn’t cling to me so much, I wouldn’t feel so suffocated.”

A tiny wave of anger surged inside me as the words “cling” and “suffocated” stabbed my ears. The air felt colder, his words landing like ice. My heart pounded painfully, as I fought hard to hold back from breaking into a sob.

 “Cling to you? Simon… you think me loving you is suffocating?” my voice shook even more. “I’m just trying to save our marriage, Simon. Is that too much?” my eyes started heat up.

“I see… your idea of saving our marriage is throwing these accusations at me? You don’t even trust me Nana”

“And I said I’m sorry for that, why won’t you let it go?” my voice amplified

“Because my wife thinks I’m secretly fucking another woman behind her back” his replied with a mocking tone.

“But it’s like you’re not even here with me anymore. You don’t see me, don’t talk to me…” I stopped mid sentence to catch the breath I was losing as a hard lump formed in my throat. “Simon, you’re cold to me” I continued.

“Great! Now I’m the bad guy, maybe if you weren’t so selfish and you actually supported me instead of questioning every damn thing I do, things wouldn’t be so tense!”

The blame In his words felt like a slap. I tried to blink back the tears, refusing to let him see how much he was hurting me. “Is that how you see me, Simon? Needy? After everything we’ve been through?”

“God, Nana, just stop.” He pushed himself up from his chair, towering over me with a look of utter frustration. “You make everything so difficult! All I want is some peace, but you can’t even give me that.”

My voice broke. “I’m trying, Simon. But you’re shutting me out. Why won’t you just tell me what’s wrong?” Tears streaming down my face.

He glared at me, his jaw clenched. “Maybe I’d talk to you if you weren’t always picking fights, always assuming the worst. Honestly, Nana, maybe this was a mistake.”

The words hung In the air, heavy and cruel, and my heart sank. “A mistake? That’s how you see our marriage?” a sharp pain spread through my body.

He looked away, refusing to answer, then grabbed his briefcase and headed toward the door, his face hard and cold.

“Where are you going?” I called after him, desperate, pleading.

“Away from this,” he muttered, not even sparing me a glance as he stormed out of the office, leaving me alone with the echo of his words and the shattered pieces of what we once were.

After Simon stormed out, the office was filled with sounds of my weak attempts to stifle the tears that poured out of me. My heart pounded in my ears as I continued to replay what had just happened.

“How did you mess this up Nana?” I mumbled quietly while wiping my face. It was just supposed to be a discussion.

 I knew I wasn’t Simon’s first choice in our marriage. We both reluctantly agreed to make it work after our parents insisted we marry, their expectations weighing heavily on us.

 Our arranged marriage came from their close ties and business partnership, but we also grew up together, Simon, his little step-brother Noah, and I.

Things were wonderful once. We were inseparable. I always had a crush on Simon in my childhood days but the little crush soon developed into love as we hit adulthood but I kept it to myself.

My love was only one-sided because he too had someone he loved dearly. However his parents made him break up with her so we could get married. She ended up moving away and Simon was heartbroken.

I tried to resist the marriage for his sake but I was helpless against their authority and subtle threats of disinheritance.

 Simon and I eventually gave in and promised ourselves to make each other happy which was ironic because he was already my happiness.

Even though my heart broke for him, I couldn’t deny the happiness and waves of joy that danced in my heart the day we kissed at the altar.

We kept each other’s promise for three years until recently when Simon started acting off and I wanted to let him know how I felt I but instead I made our relationship worse.

After twenty minutes of sobbing in Simon’s office, the crushing weight of my fears finally began to subside. I looked up at the clock, it was 6:45 PM. I wiped my face, still damp with unresolved emotions, and packed my handbag to go home.

The drive home felt like a blur, and I stumbled through the door an hour later, my heart still heavy. Sonya, the maid, greeted me and took my bag, but I barely registered her presence. My mind was clouded with thoughts of Simon.

I staggered past the entrance to the living room almost on autopilot.

 “Hey little birdie” a sudden deep sultry voice stopped me in my tracks. It was a familiar yet strange voice.

“Little birdie?... I haven’t heard that name in years…” My head turned sharply to the side as I stood still in the middle of the house. The face I hadn’t seen in a long while greeted me with a nostalgic yet dangerous smile. It was Noah, Simon’s brother.