Chapter 23

I stared into the pitch of night as I lay, naked, beside my sleeping husband.  Our sex was a bit more aggressive and experimental than on our honeymoon night, but it was fulfilling and pleasurable.  He’d opened my eyes to ways to pleasure ones partner as well as positions to assume during the process that I would have never thought possible.  I found it fascinating how the same sexual acts, when performed with Lance, could seem natural and lovely when it felt so distasteful and wrong with Jason; even though I thought that he was Lance.   My subconscious must have recognized the difference even if I didn’t.

I surprised Lance by initiating some of the acts that Jason and I did.  It wasn’t that I was into wide sexual variety so much as they were things that Jason had done to me and I wanted the memory of doing them with Lance to wipe out the memories of doing anything with Jason.  I found the things that Jason had disgusted an