Every Night He Said He Loved Me in My Dreams

Tonight, in the dream, I forgave Jack.

The next morning, that black profile picture that hadn't lit up in ages messaged me, asking me out to dinner.

The last time Jack texted me, it had been this:

"Sorry, but it was truth or dare and I drew 'confess to the dorkiest, dumbest girl in class and date her for a day,' so I picked you. Don't take it seriously. Vivian's the one I've always wanted."

I'd just stared at it.

Before I could even hand over the gift I'd bought for our date, Vivian's message had come popping in too.

"You actually thought Jack would want you? The girl at the very bottom of the class? Go look in a mirror."

"Jack and I are leaving for New York together for school. Someone like you would be lucky to get into a community college. From now on, do us a favor and don't tell people we're from the same town. It's humiliating."

But the only reason I was at the bottom of the class was that, the year we were in high school, she got leukemia.

Her mother went weeping from one end of town to the other, dropping to her knees in front of anyone she met, begging people to save her daughter.

The whole town got tested. I was the only match.

To save this so-called best friend of mine, I took half a year off school. There was marrow drawn from my bones, medication, test after test. I lay in a hospital bed enduring suffering I never should have had to bear.

I finally pulled her through it, and my own grades fell off a cliff. I couldn't keep up with the coursework.

Her parents spent every cent they had on private tutors from elite schools. For me, they dropped off two cartons of eggs at my house, called the matter settled, and never set foot on our doorstep again.

Maybe that was the moment I should have understood.

In their eyes, my life was worth two cartons of eggs. The kind about to go bad.

The thought made my nails dig into the flesh of my palm until I could barely breathe.

I composed myself, put on a red slip dress I never would have worn back in my school days, had my hair done in big waves, and went to meet him with my makeup immaculate.

He'd booked the restaurant right near our old high school.

Jack wore a black suit, tall and lean, barely changed from his younger self. If he hadn't told me, I never would have guessed he'd been married a year.

The first instant he saw me, he froze, and then jealousy and resentment flickered through his eyes.

"Nora, looks like he treats you pretty well."

I let a mocking smile pull at my lips and said, deliberately, "He's all right. If I can't have love, money's not a bad trade."

At dinner, Jack had never once been this attentive to me. He kept asking which dish I wanted, and the second I so much as coughed he'd hand me water.

I looked at him and said, in a joking tone, "Mr. Harris, all this kindness for no reason. Are you after my kidney, or my liver?"

His chopsticks jerked. He seemed to steady his nerves before he spoke slowly.

"Nora, I regret it. I regret not cherishing you back then."

"Watching you with someone else now, it really tears me up."

"It was all Vivian deceiving me back then. I see her clearly now. So let me ask you, in all seriousness, can we start over?"

I forced down the churning in my stomach, stared into those earnest eyes of his, and curved my lips. "And how would you prove to me that you're sincere?"

He hesitated, then said, as if it were obvious, "I brought you out to dinner today. Isn't that enough?"

How funny.

Did he still think I was the fool he could win back by tossing down a bowl of cold leftovers from on high?

I shook my head. "Jack, there's nothing I lack now. Are you treating me like an idiot?"

"If that's all the sincerity you've got, then let's just forget it."

I turned to leave, and a hand suddenly seized my wrist.