Trying Harder

Abe's pov

There came a point when regret stopped being enough.

I'd spent weeks replaying memories.

Weeks wondering what would've happened if I'd loved Diane better.

Weeks apologizing to myself instead of doing something about it.

I was done.

If there was even the smallest chance of getting her back...

I was going to take it.

Not by forcing her.

Not by manipulating her.

But by showing her the man I should've been all along.

I was late arriving at the joint office that Monday morning.

The lobby was filled with employees rushing to meetings, coffee cups in hand.

As I stepped out of the elevator, I saw her.

Diane.

She stood near the reception desk speaking with one of her managers.

She wore a cream blouse tucked into charcoal trousers, her curls pulled into a high ponytail that bounced every time she laughed.

Laughed.

It was becoming my favorite sound again.

I walked over before I could lose my nerve.

"Morning."

She turned.

The smile she wore disappeared almost immediately.

"Morning."

Professional.

Polite.

Distant.

I deserved that.

"Busy day?"

"Aren't they always?"

I chuckled.

"Fair."

There was an awkward silence.

I hated awkward silence.

We'd never had awkward silence before.

"Diane..."

She looked at me expectantly.

"I was thinking..."

Dangerous words.

"...we're both free around noon."

She folded her arms.

"So?"

"I know a little Italian place a few blocks away."

One eyebrow slowly rose.

"I thought we could have lunch."

She stared at me.

Not angry.

Just...confused.

"Lunch?"

"Just lunch."

"As coworkers?"

"If that's what makes you comfortable."

She studied me for several long seconds.

Long enough for me to realize how much I wanted her to say yes.

Finally...

"No."

The word wasn't cruel.

It wasn't harsh.

It was simply final.

"I already have plans."

I nodded once.

"With Zephyr?"

The question escaped before I could stop it.

Immediately I regretted it.

Her expression hardened.

"My personal life isn't your business."

"You're right."

She adjusted the strap of her handbag.

"I should get upstairs."

"Diane."

She paused.

"I'm not trying to make things difficult."

Her shoulders relaxed just a little.

"I know."

Then she walked away.

I watched until the elevator doors closed behind her.

Strike one.

"Well..."

Marcus appeared beside me seemingly out of nowhere.

"...that went terribly."

I didn't even look at him.

"Thanks."

"I'm serious."

"I noticed."

He laughed.

"You asked too soon."

I rubbed the back of my neck.

"I know."

"You barely apologized."

"I know."

"You haven't earned lunch."

"I know."

He patted my shoulder.

"At least you're self aware."

"I hate you."

"I know."

—

By lunchtime I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation.

She hadn't yelled.

She hadn't mocked me.

She hadn't told me to leave her alone.

She'd simply said no.

It wasn't progress.

But it wasn't failure either.

At least that's what I told myself.

As I walked back from grabbing coffee, I passed a small boutique tucked between two office buildings.

A display in the window caught my eye.

Sunflowers.

Fresh.

Bright.

Beautiful.

I stopped walking.

A memory surfaced instantly.

"Daisies are pretty," Diane had once told me during college.

"But sunflowers always look happy."

I'd laughed.

"So you're choosing flowers based on personality now?"

"They remind me that even when the sky is gray, something still turns toward the sun."

I'd teased her relentlessly.

She'd bought a single sunflower anyway.

It had sat in a mason jar on her dorm room desk until it wilted.

I smiled to myself.

Without thinking, I walked inside.

The florist greeted me warmly.

"Can I help you?"

"I need..." I hesitated.

"...one bouquet."

"Special occasion?"

I smiled faintly.

"I'm hoping for one."

A few minutes later, I left carrying a bouquet of sunflowers mixed with white lilies.

Simple.

Elegant.

Just like she'd always liked.

I didn't include my name.

She'd know.

—

An hour later, I casually walked past the reception desk.

The flowers had already been delivered.

I slowed my pace just enough to glance toward Diane's office.

The bouquet sat proudly on her desk.

She was standing beside it.

Sarah and Sophie were with her.

Even from a distance I could hear them laughing.

"Oh my God," Sarah squealed.

"Diane has an admirer."

"I know exactly who this is from," Sophie said with a grin.

Diane sighed dramatically.

"You two are impossible."

Sarah leaned closer to smell the flowers.

"They're gorgeous."

"You should thank him."

"I'm not thanking anyone."

"You smiled."

"I did not."

"You absolutely smiled."

"I was being polite."

The three of them burst into laughter.

A small smile found its way onto my face.

She hadn't thrown them away.

It wasn't much.

But it was something.

Marcus appeared beside me carrying another coffee.

"You are literally hiding behind a plant."

"I'm observing."

"You're spying."

"I prefer observing."

He followed my line of sight.

"Oh."

His grin spread immediately.

"The flowers."

I nodded.

"You romantic idiot."

"I know."

"You realize she knows they're from you."

"I hope so."

He laughed.

"You've got it bad."

I didn't bother denying it.

Because I did.

Bad enough that seeing her smile even from across the office felt like winning something.