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Fake Dating, My Foot. I Love You!
Fake Dating, My Foot. I Love You!
Author: Vanessa Kay

The Girlfriend Problem

Author: Vanessa Kay
last update publish date: 2026-11-12 05:44:05

 "If you love me, prove it."

 I froze with a French fry halfway to my mouth.

 Excuse me?

 I slowly turned my head toward Damien Cole, the man currently holding my hand beneath a restaurant table while smiling at me like he hadn't just ruined my entire afternoon.

 "What?" I whispered.

 He didn't look at me. His eyes were fixed on the woman standing beside our table.

 Zara Mitchell.

 His ex-girlfriend.

 The woman who had apparently decided that the word breakup was a suggestion rather than a complete sentence.

 "Baby," Damien said, squeezing my hand.

 Baby?

 I nearly choked on air.

 He turned to me, his expression so ridiculously tender that I almost forgot we were in public.

 Almost.

 "Tell Zara how happy you've been making me."

 I stared at him.

 Then I stared at Zara.

 Then back at him.

 _I'm going to kill you._

 That was the message I tried to communicate with my eyes.

 Damien's smile widened.

 _Please, his eyes begged. Just play along._

 I wanted to kick him beneath the table.

 Actually, no. I wanted to kick him somewhere much more painful.

 But Zara was watching us, and apparently, I had agreed to this madness. So I swallowed my irritation, pasted on a smile, and leaned closer to Damien.

 "Oh, he's wonderful," I said sweetly. "Honestly, I don't know how I got so lucky."

 Damien's eyebrows rose.

 I pinched his thigh beneath the table.

 He flinched.

 "She's adorable when she's shy," he told Zara.

 I almost swallowed my tongue.

 Shy?

 I was going to murder him and make his funeral invitation-only.

 Zara didn't look amused.

 She stood beside our table with her arms crossed, her perfectly manicured nails tapping against her elbow. Her gaze moved from Damien's hand wrapped around mine to the way he sat close enough that our shoulders touched.

 Then she looked directly at me.

 "So you're actually dating?"

 I smiled.

 "That's generally what boyfriend and girlfriend means."

 Damien coughed into his fist.

 Zara's eyes narrowed.

 "Funny. Damien never mentioned you."

 "Really?" I tilted my head. "That's strange. He talks about me all the time."

 I felt Damien go still beside me.

 Oh, this was dangerous.

 I was enjoying myself far too much.

 Zara gave me a tight smile. "How long has this been going on?"

 I opened my mouth.

 Damien answered first.

 "A few weeks."

 I turned to him so quickly I nearly pulled a muscle.

 A few weeks?

 We'd agreed on two.

 Two weeks!

 This man was out here adding imaginary months to our imaginary relationship without consulting his imaginary girlfriend.

 I squeezed his hand hard enough to make him wince.

 "Yes," I said through my teeth. "A few weeks."

 Zara studied us.

 "And you didn't think to tell me?"

 Damien's expression hardened.

 "Zara, we're broken up. I don't owe you updates about my life."

 For the first time since she'd approached us, the smile slipped from her face.

 "I just thought what we had meant more to you than this."

 I felt Damien's fingers tighten around mine.

 There it was.

 The guilt.

 The familiar attempt to make him feel responsible for her unhappiness.

 I didn't know everything that had happened between them, but I'd seen enough to recognize when someone was trying to pull Damien back into a conversation he'd already ended.

 He took a breath.

 "It did mean something to me, Zara. But it's over."

 Her eyes flickered toward me again.

 "And she's what? Your replacement?"

 I felt Damien tense.

 Before he could answer, I put down my fry.

 "Actually, I'm not a replacement for anybody."

 Zara blinked.

 I smiled pleasantly.

 "I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about me like I'm an item he picked up at a store. It's a little insulting."

 "Ava," Damien murmured.

 "What?" I asked innocently. "I'm being polite."

 He looked like he was fighting for his life not to laugh.

 Zara's cheeks flushed.

 "You don't know anything about our relationship."

 "You're right," I replied. "And I'm not trying to."

 I slipped my hand out of Damien's for a moment and folded my arms.

 "But I do know that he said the relationship is over. Maybe you should respect that."

 The silence that followed was uncomfortable enough to make me reconsider every decision I'd made since waking up that morning.

 Zara looked at Damien.

 "Is this really what you want?"

 He didn't hesitate.

 "Yes."

 One word.

 Clear. Firm. Final.

 Something in Zara's expression changed. For a second, she looked genuinely hurt.

 Then her face hardened again.

 "Fine."

 She straightened her shoulders and gave me one last look.

 "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into."

 I smiled.

 "Honestly? I'm still figuring that out."

 She turned and walked away.

 I watched her disappear through the restaurant doors before slowly turning toward the man beside me.

 Damien was grinning.

 Actually grinning.

 I stared at him in disbelief.

 "Don't."

 His grin widened.

 "Don't what?"

 "Whatever stupid thing you're about to say, don't."

 "You were amazing."

 I snatched my hand away from his.

 "You told her we've been dating for weeks!"

 "I panicked."

 "You panicked? You looked like you were auditioning for a romantic movie!"

 He laughed.

 "And what was that about me talking about you all the time?"

 "Improvisation."

 "You called me adorable."

 "You called me shy!"

 He opened his mouth, then closed it.

 I pointed at him triumphantly.

 "Exactly."

 He leaned back in his chair, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

 "Still, we make a pretty convincing couple."

 I stared at him.

 Then I picked up a fry and threw it at his forehead.

 He burst out laughing.

 "You're insane," I muttered.

 "And yet, you're my girlfriend."

 "Fake girlfriend."

 "Details."

 "Important details, Damien!"

 He was still laughing when I grabbed my drink.

 I took a long sip, hoping the cold liquid would calm the murderous thoughts gathering in my head.

 It didn't.

 Because the worst part wasn't Zara's visit.

 It wasn't the public performance, the ridiculous pet names, or the fact that Damien had apparently forgotten how to tell the truth when under pressure.

 The worst part was that this was only our third day of fake dating.

 THREE DAYS.

 And I was already questioning my sanity.

 I'd agreed to pretend to be Damien Cole's girlfriend to help him get his possessive ex off his back.

 That was all.

 No feelings. No romance. No complications.

 Just two best friends playing a harmless little game until Zara finally moved on.

 Simple.

 Manageable.

 Completely under control.

 At least, that was what I'd told myself when Damien made his ridiculous proposal.

 I had no idea that three days into the arrangement, I'd already threatened to murder him twice.

 And I certainly had no idea that the real trouble hadn't even started.

 Because as Damien reached across the table to steal another fry, his phone lit up beside his plate.

 A message appeared on the screen.

 *ZARA: We need to talk. Alone. There's something you don't know about Ava.*

 My smile disappeared.

 Slowly, I looked up at Damien.

 He'd seen the message too.

 And for the first time that afternoon, he wasn't smiling anymore.

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    By Monday morning, I had decided I was done thinking about Natalie.It was a temporary decision, obviously. I wasn't delusional enough to believe a woman connected to Damien's mysterious past would simply disappear from my thoughts because I wanted her to.But I could try.I had work to do, chapters to write, and a life that didn't revolve around investigating my best friend's questionable history.At least, that was the plan.My phone rang while I was making breakfast.Damien.I answered without looking at the screen.“Before you say anything, I'm not investigating your past today.”He laughed.“Good morning to you too.”“I'm setting boundaries.”“Congratulations.”“What do you want?”“Lunch.”I stopped spreading butter on my toast.“Excuse me?”“I was asking if you'd have lunch with me.”“That's a very dramatic way to invite someone to eat.”“Would you prefer a formal invitation?”“With flowers.”“I'll consider it.”I smiled.“Fine. Where?”“I'll pick you up at one.”“Don't be late.

  • Fake Dating, My Foot. I Love You!   A Friend's Warning

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  • Fake Dating, My Foot. I Love You!   Coffee And Complications

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  • Fake Dating, My Foot. I Love You!   The Things We Don't Say

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  • Fake Dating, My Foot. I Love You!   A Little Too Comfortable

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  • Fake Dating, My Foot. I Love You!   The Man Who Got Me Coffee

    I had a problem.Actually, I had several problems, but one of them was currently sitting on my couch while I stared at my phone like it had personally betrayed me.Unknown: Someone who knows what happened that night.I read the message again.Then I locked my phone.Then I unlocked it.Then I considered throwing it out the window.Unfortunately, my phone was expensive, and I wasn't financially stable enough to let mysterious strangers ruin my investment.So I did the next best thing.I called Damien.He answered on the second ring."Miss me already?""Don't flatter yourself.""Ouch. Good afternoon to you too.""It's afternoon.""That's what I said."I rolled my eyes."Damien, did you tell anyone we were meeting at the diner?""No. Why?"I swallowed."Someone knew."The teasing disappeared from his voice."What do you mean?"I explained the messages, reading each one aloud.By the time I finished, Damien had gone completely silent."Damien?""I'm here.""Say something.""Take screensho

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