004- BONDING?

004

BONDING?

AURORA

I can't believe how much things have changed in just one night. I don't want to think about Brian. I don't want to think about the kiss. I don't even want to think about anything.

Because if I do, I'll lose it. And what better way to show a bunch of jocks that I'm vulnerable if I start crying just because of a boy.

So I put on my best poker expression, staring up at Jayden.

He clears his throat awkwardly beside me. “Look... about the kiss...”

“Nope.”

His eyebrows lift slightly.

I point at him immediately. “We are not talking about that.”

Because if we do? I might have to acknowledge the fact that my brain completely stopped functioning the second he kissed me. And I cheated on Brian. Which is insane. Because he cheated on me first.

The point is, until our relationship is officially over, I really don’t want to unpack that tonight.

“It meant nothing,” I say quickly. “You were helping me. That’s all.”

He watches me quietly for a second. Then he nods, glancing away. “Yeah,” he says flatly. “Obviously.”

“So,” he says, “we pretending it never happened?”

“Yes.”

“Works for me.”

“Good.”

Cold wind rushes past us again and I shiver violently. “Okay,” I mutter. “I’m freezing. Can we go inside now?”

We both move toward the door at the same time. I make a stop the same time he does. I try stepping left. So does he. Right. Again.

I stare up at him in disbelief. “Oh my God.”

He snorts. “You’re in my way.”

“I’m literally not.”

“You are.”

“We’re both moving!”

“Yeah, into me.”

I narrow my eyes.

Then he steps back suddenly and gestures dramatically toward the door.

“Ladies first, Shortie.”

“I hate that nickname.”

“You still answered to it.”

I gasp in offense before pushing past him.

The warmth inside the hockey house hits immediately. Unfortunately, so does the yelling. The second I walk back in, every guy in the living room loses his mind again.

“OOOOOOOOH...”

“SHE CAME BACK FOR HIM!”

“CAPTAIN’S GIRL...”

They've all got the narrative wrong.

My eyes dart around the room helplessly while heat crawls up my neck. I suddenly become painfully aware of every person staring at me.

This is horrible.

Why are hockey players like this?

A warm hand presses lightly against my back.

Jayden.

“Shut the fuck up,” he says to the room calmly.

Nobody listens.

One guy actually starts fake crying.

“I used to be your favorite, Captain!”

Jayden flips him off while guiding me toward the stairs.

I keep my head down the entire way upstairs because I physically cannot survive another second of eye contact.

He leads me into a quieter room at the end of the hallway before shutting the door behind us.

The room is surprisingly neat for a hockey player. A bed pushed against the wall. A desk cluttered with books and energy drinks. A gaming setup glowing softly in the corner.

Jayden tosses his duffel onto the floor.

“You hungry?” he asks.

“No.”

My stomach growls immediately after.

Jayden stares at me.

I stare back defensively.

“…Don’t,” I mumble.

His mouth twitches slightly like he’s trying not to laugh. “I’ll get you food.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah,” he says, “I kinda do.” He insists, then heads for the door before pausing. Then he looks back at me.

“Look,” he says awkwardly, “are you okay?”

Because nobody’s asked me that all night. I tear my gaze from him. Brian was too busy panicking about getting caught. The hockey guys were too entertained.

It's not as if anybody's obligated to but...

Somehow the one person actually checking on me is the giant grumpy roommate I met three hours ago.

So naturally, I lie.

“Yep.”

He just shrugs slightly. “Okay.”

Then he leaves. I wait until I can't hear the sound of his steps. That's when everything, my chest caves in. I can't stop the sob that rips out of my chest.

It hurts.

People back home see me as this tough girl that does the comforting and doesn't need to be comforted. I mean... I'm a figure skater. The sport is not as easy as it sounds.

What they don't understand is that I'm just like every other girl. I feel too. That's what Brian had failed to understand. Our relationship used to be based on him always reminding me of how tough I was.

He'd tell me I'm a figure skater and I couldn't cry. He would say always laugh in my face when I told him something emotional. He just... I thought he loved me. He influenced my choices of college. I came here because he wanted me to. Something about our relationship getting stronger.

I clamp both hands over my mouth immediately, eyes burning as tears spill down my face.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

This is so humiliating.

I sink onto the edge of the bed and cry properly then.

Not graceful crying either.

The ugly kind.

The kind where your chest aches and breathing hurts and tears just keep coming no matter how hard you wipe them away.

I came here for him.

That’s the worst part.

I left home thinking things between Brian and I were finally going to work now that we’d be at the same university.

I spent eight miserable hours on a bus imagining him being excited to see me.

And instead I walked into him with another girl in his lap.

Fresh humiliation crashes over me again.

A broken sound escapes my throat.

I quickly grab my phone with shaky hands and dial the only person I want right now.

Mama.

The call barely rings twice.

“Aurora?” my mother answers immediately.

And just hearing her voice destroys me.

“Mama...” My voice cracks. “I can’t do it.”

“What happened? Aurora? Are you hurt?”

I shake my head even though she can’t see me.

“No,” I whisper. “I just... I can’t do this.”

“Aurora,” she says gently. “Talk to me.”

Another sob leaves me. Everything spills out after that.

“The dorm situation is insane and somehow my roommate is this giant hockey player and I ended up at a hockey house and Brian...” My voice breaks completely. “Mama, Brian cheated on me.”

“He what?”

I curl tighter into myself on the bed. “I walked in and he was with another girl and everybody saw and it was so humiliating and...”

“Oh, baby.”

That’s it. I completely lose it again. Tears pour harder while I press my hand against my mouth to quiet the crying.

“I left everything to come here,” I whisper brokenly. “You worked so hard for this scholarship and now everything feels ruined.”

“No,” my mother says immediately. Firmly. “Do not say that.”

I squeeze my eyes shut.

“You did not get into Northford because of a boy.”

More tears slide down my face.

“You got there because you earned it.”

I shake my head weakly. “But I feel stupid.”

“You are not stupid for loving someone.”

God.

That one hurts.

I wipe at my face miserably.

“And this roommate?” my mother asks carefully. “Is he treating you well?”

Despite myself, I let out a watery laugh.

“He’s awful.”

“Mhm.”

“He keeps calling me Shortie.”

“That sounds like flirting.”

“Mama!”

“What?” I can practically hear her smiling now. “I’m just saying.”

Heat rises to my face instantly.

Which is ridiculous considering I was just crying over another man thirty seconds ago.

“He’s arrogant,” I mumble. “And bossy. And rude.”

“But?”

I pause. “…But he’s kinda nice underneath all the insanity,” I admit quietly.

“Mhm,” my mother hums knowingly again. "Brian doesn't deserve you. You should be thinking of ways to be a kickass figure skater and not wasting your time on him."

I sniff. "You never really liked him."

"I did not. But you wouldn't listen."

"God, I feel like a fool... Mama, are you okay? Are you taking your medications on time? Is Claudia still coming over like I asked her to?"

"Aurora, you focus on getting over this breakup okay? I'll be fine. I'll tell Claudia you asked after her."

"Mama..." She hangs up. I stare at my phone. So much for me calling first.