019

Astrid’s POV

The words on the page stopped making sense after the third time I read the same paragraph.

“Focus,” I muttered under my breath but it only got even worse.

Biting my lower lip, I was staring hard at the book in my hands, trying to force my brain to focus but it didn’t.

Instead, my eyes drifted again to my phone which was lying beside me on the bed.

The screen was still dark and silent.

Propping myself up, I exhaled quietly and dragged my gaze back to the book.

“Focus,” I said to myself for the hundredth time but the sentence blurred.

After several minutes of trying to focus without fruition, I picked up my phone, still nothing.

There was no message, no missed call, no notification either.

I dropped it back onto the bed with a soft thud and rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling.

This was completely ridiculous.

Why was I even checking?

Ocean and I weren’t anything. It was a fake arrangement so why did the silence feel so loud?

Snapping my eyes shut, I groaned softly, pressing the book over my face.

“Okay, what is wrong with you?” Dawn asked, her voice cutting through my thoughts.

Groaning slightly, I lowered the book just enough to peek at her.

She was lying on her stomach across her bed, chin propped on her hands and watching me with narrowed eyes.

“Nothing,” I said quickly.

“That’s a lie.” She replied, raising a brow.

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“I’m just reading,” I said, hoping she dropped it but Dawn was just getting started.

“You’ve been on the same page for like ten minutes.”

“Maybe it’s a deep page.”

“Yeah, so deep you keep checking your phone every five seconds.” She teased and that instant I went stiff because I didn't realise she had noticed.

“That’s not true.”

“It is.”

“It’s not.” I pressed but she wasn't giving up anytime soon.

“You literally just did it before I spoke.”

Propping myself up, I opened my mouth to argue but then I closed it because she wasn’t wrong.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Dawn’s eyes lit up like she had just won a lottery.

“Ah,” she said slowly, a mischievous smile spreading across her lips. “So that’s what this is.”

“What is?” I was frowning hard now. I had been caught red handed, now I was having a court session with her.

She sat up suddenly, pointing at me like she had cracked a code.

“You’re waiting for him to call.” She chirped.

My heart skipped multiple beats before I mustered the courage to say, “I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I’m not.”

“Ocean hasn’t called you today, has he?”

God, how did she know that?, I asked myself, turning my head away

“That’s not the point.”

“That is exactly the point.” She smirked, snapping her fingers.

Sitting up, I sighed dramatically.

“We’re not… like that,” I said, waving my hand vaguely.

“Uh-huh, go on,”

“We’re not.”

“Then why are you acting like this?”

“I’m not acting like anything.”

“You’re acting like a girl whose boyfriend hasn’t called her all day.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I snapped a little too quickly.

Dawn leaned back, her gaze not leaving me even for a split second.

“Sure.” She chuckled.

I grabbed my pillow and threw it at her but she caught it easily, laughing.

“Okay, okay,” she said, still grinning. “So maybe he is not your boyfriend but something is definitely happening.”

“Nothing is happening.”

“Then call him.”

I froze at the sudden challenge.

“What?”

“Call him,” she repeated simply.

“Why would I do that?” I asked, blinking.

“Because you clearly want to hear from him, so call him.”

“I don’t want to, I never said that. ”

“Of course you want to, you don't have to say it out aloud, your body language already gave you away.”

“I don’t.” I drawled so it would sink into her thick skull.

I was losing my mind but Dawn on the other hand was having the fun of her life.

“Then prove it.” She challenged, tilting her head with her hands crossed on her chest.

“How?” I asked, trying to get a clue from her face but she gave nothing away apart from mischief.

“Call him and act normal.”

“That’s not proving anything.”

“It is,” she insisted. “If you don’t care, then calling him shouldn’t be a big deal.”

I hesitated because she had a point and I hated that.

“I’m not calling him,” I said finally.

“Okay,” she shrugged. “Then keep staring at your phone like a lovesick teenager.”

“I am not lovesick!”

“Mm-hmm.” She nodded and while I was glaring at her, she was smiling sweetly.

“Call him.” She urged again.

This time, I grabbed my phone before I could overthink it.

“Fine,” I muttered, sliding off the bed. “I’ll call him just to prove you wrong.”

“Go on.” She urged, her grin widening.

Rolling my eyes, I got off my bed then began to head towards the door.

“I’m stepping out,” I said.

“Of course you are,” she teased. “Privacy, I understand.”

“I don’t need privacy.”

“You clearly do.”

I ignored her and stepped out into the hallway, closing the door behind me.

My heartbeat suddenly felt louder as I stepped out into the cool evening.

Why was I nervous?

This was stupid.

“It’s just a call, just a normal call.” I muttered, staring hard at his name on the screen of my phone.

After what seemed like forever, I exhaled slowly then tapped it.

The phone began to ring but he didn't pick up until the call was sent to voicemail.

Exhaling, I pulled the phone away from my ear only to start staring at the screen.

“He didn’t pick up.” I muttered as a strange feeling settled in my chest.

Disappointment?

No, it shouldn’t be.

“See?” I muttered to myself. “Doesn’t matter.” I added then turned around to head back to my room

This was exactly why I shouldn’t have called now; it just felt awkward.

I was in the middle of the hallway when my phone suddenly rang.

My heart jumped at the sudden intrusion then slowly I looked down at the screen of my phone.

It was Ocean, he was calling back.

For a second, I just stared at the screen then I swiped to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hey, you good?” He asked, his calm voice making my chest tighten.

“Hi,” I said, suddenly aware of how fast my heart was beating.

There was a brief pause before he said,

“You called.”

“I…yeah,” I replied quickly. “I just… um…”

Why was I blanking out?

“I wanted to check if you were okay,” I blurted out.

My eyes widened slightly as I replayed the words in my head.

Why did I say that?

“I mean…” I rushed, stumbling over my words. “Not like… not like that. I just…” I trailed off as it was only getting worse.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said quickly.

“You were worried?” He asked.

My breath hitched against my throat as I used the back of my hand to wipe the beads of perspiration that had gathered on my forehead.

“No,” I said immediately. “I mean… yes… but not really…”

Oh my God.

“Forget it,” I said quickly.

“Astrid…”

“Sorry, I have to go.” I bit out and before he could say anything else, I hung up.

My heart was pounding wildly in my chest now.

“What did you just do?” I whispered to myself.

Panic flooded through me as I ran towards my room.

Dawn looked up instantly the moment I stepped in.

“Well?” she asked eagerly, her eyes following my every movement.

I didn’t answer, I moved straight to my bed, grabbed my blanket, and pulled it over my head like it could hide me from everything.

“Astrid?” Dawn called. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled from under the covers.

“Nothing? Come on, tell me what the hell happened out there,” she urged.

“Leave me alone.”

“Astrid…”

I curled up tighter, hiding completely under the blanket because right now I couldn’t face her, him or even myself.