If one was to look up the meaning of the word promise one will find it means a declaration or an assurance that one will do something.
And on a quiet street within a small town of Denton when the sun happened to shine a bit brighter than most days I made a promise. I made a vow past the tears blurring my vision to my parents to always try be a good person. I promised to keep myself away from any trouble that often came morphed in the shape and size of strangers or even friends.To my mother, Sophia Winston who had been sceptical in my choice to move to a big city in pursuit of my studies I made another promise to her unbeknownst to my father, Bernard. I promised never to allow just anyone to enter my sacred temple and that when the time came to give my heart to someone I'd only give them a part of it whilst always keeping a bigger part for myself.
On that day I could tell my parents were terrified at just the mere idea of me leaving the community. It was a community that had welcomed us so easily when my parents initially moved there over twenty years ago.
But they knew I needed to find myself and find a place I truly belonged. As parents they'd just have to trust that the skills they taught me would be enough to rebuke any evil.In as much as I had good intentions in keeping those promises I realized, when it comes to commitments as much as we make them, sometimes without often meaning to... we break them.
And despite being away from them where I embraced a different life I had managed to avoid any possible danger. I listened to my intuition that warned me to not fall for words spoken by those with slick tongues.
And yet when I met him, my intuition became mute.It's strange when you meet someone who tarnishes the very walls you built yet makes the process of destruction so sweet and addictive.
For it was through him, I grew to welcome the appeal of having my temple destroyed from every touch and kiss he laid upon my flesh whist baptising me into his religion. Through him, I was shown that in passion, paradise could be reached between the sheets but I'm getting ahead of myself in a way. And in as much as I can try say I feel terrible about breaking my promise to my parents - I can't.
And when I really think about it now, I don't think I ever will. Even if those choices held fatal consequences.
Since the day I entered the city of New York to pursue my degree in literature, the world I thought I once knew expanded. Such that any chance I could I soaked it in eagerly lapping up the bright lights like water with a thirst I never knew I possessed.There were so many things I promised myself I'd do like learn how to ride a motorcycle and at some point go skydiving. The first few weeks were filled with acquainting myself with the environment.
It had been over three years in the city that had quickly become my home when the quiet life I had managed to create was disrupted...I was in my last year of university when I began working at a little coffee shop owned by a sweet, mild mannered lady by the name of Ms Eleanor Friedman in order to support myself. Asking for money from my parents was becoming a bit tiresome. It wasn't easy having to offer explanations to them as to why the money they sent only lasted a week sometimes.
Needless to say there were times I went through a mini-party phase especially when I met Donovan who'd become part of the adventure I had embarked on.
We had met on campus after I bumped into him on my way to a lecture. He was studying law and would be graduating soon to join his father at the law firm that had been in their family for over two decades.
Unlike me, Donovan was the type who liked to plan ahead. It was one of his idiosyncrasies that made our friendship work in that we balanced each other. And I was yet to know what I would do once I finished school, one of the ideas I had in mind was to find work at a publishing company.However, a part of me wanted to take a chance to publish my own work. But I was scared.
It was winter at the time. A season in which the cold chose to be our worst enemy where the story really begins. Tucked away inside a warm, toasty shop situated in Brooklyn, Crown Heights I stood rubbing the paper of one of the pages of my journal between my fingers. I was trying to figure out what to write as I placed some of my body weight against the counter.
Falling short on a reasonable thing to place on the paper I blew out a harsh breath. Allowing my eyes to move absentmindedly around the shop I took in the mostly vacant seats on this late, murky day whilst I purposefully avoided Roland's annoying gaze.
It was rare for us to have customers with weather that unpleasantly nipped at one's skin and despite it only being a few weeks into winter I could feel myself struggling to cope with it. "It's days like this I wish I had just stayed in bed," turning my head to the side once I heard Ms Friedman's voice a small smile formed on my face at the way she was frowning. It was odd seeing her look visibly irked especially when most of the time she had a friendly smile. She was in her early sixties and held characteristics that were similar to that of my mother.
It was comforting being around her on days the feeling of homesickness etched itself against my body. But I always maintained a decent, friendly relationship that was adequate between that of a boss and employee such that I only knew things about her based on what she was willing to share with me.
"Join the club but it's up to us not to deprive the public of heaven," I chuckled lightly closing my journal, I had been trying to write a poem but considering my mind had remained nothing but a blank canvas I decided to give up.
At that time I had been experiencing a writer's block that had been killing me and though I used to experience episodes like that before, the inability to create had been going on for weeks.
She chuckled lightly coming to stand beside me, allowing my nose to take a whiff of the sweet smell of chocolate. Upon natural instinct my stomach immediately grumbled lightly reminding me of the hunger I had been ignoring for some time. "You may have a point," she replied pointing discreetly towards a child munching on a cupcake with clear gusto. I smiled when I noticed the child's parent reach out to wipe the icing that landed on their chin."My daughter, Marcie will be coming to stay with me soon," were the words that immediately made me stop paying attention to the customers to place my full focus on her at the personal detail. She had once mentioned having a child. I always figured with Ms Friedman that she'd tell me what she was comfortable revealing, and when it came to her daughter she'd mention her from time to time.
"You must be excited."
She shrugged nonchalantly biting her bottom lip, "In a way, she's going through a little bit of a rough patch so I'm hoping the change in scenery will do her some good. She's coming to the same school as you."
"That's great well I'm sure she'll adjust," I said nudging her shoulder gently when I noticed the way she pursed her lips before looking me in the eye not bothering to hide her nervousness."I was hoping... if its not too much trouble i-if you aren't too busy -"
"Ms Friedman," I gave her a gentle smile to ensure her that it was fine for her to ask whatever she needed to.
She sighed and quickly cleared her throat, "Well I was hoping you could keep a close eye on her. She's still in her first year and I'd feel comfortable knowing she's got someone there."
Her concern for her daughter was endearing and I couldn't help but recall the same look of worry on my mother's face on the day I left. It's a well-known fact that the world will always be a lot more dangerous for women.
It was unfortunate we had this dark cloud looming over us such that without wasting another second I quickly replied, "I'll keep an eye on her," hoping that my words would be enough to dismantle any fears in her mind.
"Thank you, Aaliyah, I'll introduce you to her the next time you're in the shop," she muttered smiling gently at me.
Please feel free to comment. Would love to hear your thoughts on the start of this journey with Aaliyah! Thanks.
Within the life one is given the oddest things often occur taking us off guard. In as much as one strives to live their life based on a routine that has them knowing the next set of events as each second unwinds, life unfortunately pays no dues to those plans. In fact, life often places an unorthodox situation in our hands and how we react to it is literally up to us.Closing the door to the shop, I gave one last wave to Ms Friedman. Clasping the opening of my coat tighter to withstand the cold wind whipping past me, I grit my teeth tucking the box of brownies she gave me for free under my arm. Considering I had a serious sweet tooth, it was thrilling to work in a place that quenched one's caffeine cravings but had amazing sugary treats. If I wasn't careful I would acquire the Type 2 diabetes that my father suffered a lot sooner. I had spent the holidays back home watching my mother monitor what he ate like a hawk. And when I returned in preparation for the start of the semester,
Have you ever gone through something and despite it passing the feeling remains freshly engraved in your head? And no matter how much you attempt to forget it, any attempt to fill your head with anything else is futile? I never could relate to people who had those experiences until that night. It had been days and more often than I'd like to admit I found my eyes landing on the steps as if staring at them hard enough will cause him to appear out of thin air. A part of me kept questioning what wound up happening to him. Another part that I dared not venture further into wondered if he had done something terrible to himself.In order to cope I began convincing myself he had been some manifestation of my imagination. It had been working for some time especially when school began. Once I stepped through the doors of the lecture room I got a break from the mental torment. I grew excited to be back in an environment with people equally passionate about the worlds created by the differ
The flashes of blue imprinted within the scope of my mind made it hard to focus. Once again a flame has been ignited to burn fiercer beyond what I knew. I kept wondering how is it these emotions are attacking me for someone I hardly knew. And yet maybe it's because he's far beyond what the surface showed that the thirst stems from. I kept wondering how one can go from a dishevelled look consisting of crimson eyes and bloody knuckles to a flawless suit that probably cost more than my apartment. Donovan threw numerous questions my way that day after Nicholas disappeared. Although I found his concern endearing I knew I was more than capable of handling myself. He was reluctant to accept this truth but he had to either way knowing that I would do anything I chose to without ever needing him or anyone else's permission. With this ability of being able to think for myself having been instilled by my parents throughout my life, came an ability to learn when to smell bullshit from a mil
Pushing the plate away against the table I looked up at him, "Okay... talk," I demanded. His eyes snapped up to meet mine holding a glint in them. We had been sitting here in the kitchen for some time where the only sound prohibiting us from achieving total silence was the occasional scraping of cutlery against the ceramic plates. "That's fair. I guess in a way I have been prolonging the inevitable. So..." he paused rubbing his hands together as if he was about to partake in a strenuous task, "I was upset that night. And in the midst of that anger I wound up punching a wall - pretty stupid as fuck, I know," he chuckled humourlessly," But all logic escapes me sometimes and I wound up sitting on your steps just trying to hide away," he concluded waiting expectantly for my reaction. I eyed his profile, scoping out his panorama for any imperfections, for any loose string sticking out from his armour consisting of Italian fabric to disrupt the illusion. Falling short to the point of e
Problems... They often attack us when we least expect them and often cripple us to the point of being driven to wanting to end it all. Whilst others are driven to find solace in other alternatives that often ruin many lives. After telling Donovan we had to cut our time short, he understood making me promise to call when we got back to my place safe. So far Marcie and I were situated in my living room. She chose to make herself comfortable on my floor whilst I sat next to her with snacks littering the table. We had been binge watching some classic early 2000's movies like "The Notebook" which will always make me turn into a teary-eyed mess to "Not Another Teen Movie". Glancing her way cautiously seeing her laugh at a joke said on the screen was a relief on its own. I didn't gain pleasure from seeing my friends upset, "You can stop watching me like a hawk. I'm not going to burst out crying," she said not taking her eyes off the TV. Cursing under my breath at failing to be more di
There are times warning signs are thrown our way. Yet we throw that caution out of the window and step on the pedal not giving a damn about whether we survive or crash. The hushed tones conversing inside my temple told me to not allow the possible danger knocking on its door in and I was quite close to keeping the lock sealed shut. I really had been close...Stepping outside after saying good-bye to both ladies I promised to visit their home again. Once the door shut, I froze when just down the stairs he was standing, daunting yet alluring in his suit. It was no mystery that he had been waiting whilst Leo and Daniel were on the side talking between themselves immediately excluding us. I moved down the stairs praying to not look at his eyes again. Picking up on the sound of footsteps moving behind me, I didn't need to look back to know it was him. "I'm perfectly capable walking home on my own," I pointed out only to be met with a deep chuckle. The sound transcending space and time to
Slipping onto the soft leather seats, no matter how many times I replay that day in my head. I still couldn't remember how Marcie convinced me to occupy the passenger seat whilst she sat in the back. So there we were all in that vehicle, with him and I sitting on opposite sides. Whilst there was an invisible line between us that would require joint effort to willingly cross without any fear we'll trip and fall. I glanced his way taking in the way his hair danced. With one hand resting on the steering wheel he seemed so carefree with his eyes focused on the streets. He easily moved past other vehicles and though he was a good driver, I never did like his tendency to opt for speed. "Your friend doesn't like me very much, does he?" Although it was posed as a question, I knew he already had an answer and that no amount of persuasion would work. "He's just weary when it comes to new faces, Nicholas." "I thought we were in agreement that you'll call me, Nicky." Marcie snorted in the
My first kiss was when I was just shy of fourteen. I was visiting my grandparents when I met a boy just a year older than me right next door. And situated by an oak tree the first glimpse of intimacy was seen by me. It was quite awkward and filled with uncertainty which was usual for those with little experience. In time the older I got the less shy I became with accepting an attraction when I felt it. It had been some time since that encounter at Ms Friedman's home. When I managed to come downstairs after getting myself together I left in a hurry to mentally process what just happened. Though I wasn't familiar with what exactly went on with Nicholas' world till this day I chose not to ask too many details of the things he did or the skulls he had to crack to acquire the level of respect and fear he had. However, after that encounter I was once again reminded there was a part of him that I didn't completely know. To be honest I couldn't exactly forget the fear on that man's face