All Of You

As I watched his tense back and the door opened, panic hit me. Not panic that he was about to go fuck someone else, but panic that he… that he was leaving me. 

“I don’t want you to leave,” I whispered, the sound so low I thought he wouldn't catch it, but he did. He paused, his back growing more tense. I took slow steps towards him. “I don’t want you to leave me.”

He turned his head and stared at me from over his shoulder, his expression tight with pain. “This is cruel, Siri.”

I kept walking towards him, and when I was two feet away, I stopped. 

“I know.” 

I swallowed. His hand was still on the doorknob, his head still the only thing turned to me. 

“I… I want you, Jackson.”

He drew in a sharp breath before he shook his head. “And now you’re going to lie just to get me to stay?”

I chewed on my lower lip as I took another step toward him, my hand itching to reach out to hold his, but I resisted. 

“I wish I was lying. Trust me, I wish I was lying. But since that wedding night, that want that has ignited since that night hasn't faded. Not even by a bit.”

He turned half his body to me. I could no longer hold his eyes, so I had to look away. 

“Sure, I was playing hard to get, but that’s because… there are so many things standing between us, and this want. So many wrong and heavy things. You know this, too. But unlike you, who just does whatever he wants, I… I can't. Because it always comes back and bites me in the ass.”

“What are you trying to say, Siri?” he asked softly. 

It took a while before I dragged my gaze back to his, and our eyes were glued together. 

“I’m saying I want you. Sure, I’m jealous and terrified of you fucking someone else. I’m even more terrified of you getting close to me and finally realizing I'm not that interesting. But… but we only live once, right? And aren't our twenties supposed to be the phase for heartbreaks and fucking terrible decisions?”

Slowly, without looking away from my eyes, he closed the door. It locked with a soft click. 

 “Do you know what you’re saying?”

“That I want you?”

“You’re about to cross a line we might not come back from.”

I nodded once. “I know.”

He closed the last space between us. “But do you?”

“I am not a child, Jackson.” 

He snaked a hand around my waist, pulling me flushed against him, and I gasped when I felt his crotch pressing into my stomach. 

“No, Siri. You're not.” 

He leaned down, and his lips came down on mine. 

As soon as our lips met, we made some concerning sounds into each other’s mouths. But that was the least of my problems. My main problem was how he tasted and how he kissed. 

He tasted like whisky, coffee, and sin. And he kissed like he wanted to devour me whole. 

My hands immediately flew up and wrapped around his neck as our lips moved together like we were animals. His other hand grabbed my waist, and he pressed me harder to his body. His tongue pushed into my mouth without permission, and I opened wide for him, moaning into his mouth when his tongue curled around mine.

I was kissing Jackson. Oh God, I was kissing Jackson! 

I could already feel myself getting addicted, because he was kissing me like it was his job and he wanted to make sure he did it perfectly. 

His hands began to move all over my body, from my waist down to my ass. When he was satisfied with kneading it, his large hands moved up to my back, and higher to the back of my head. 

He tilted my head, and if I thought we were kissing before, that was a joke. It seemed the real kiss was beginning now. 

There was nothing slow or soft about the kiss. Nothing gentle. He kissed me like he wanted to learn every inch of my mouth, our tongues tangled together, sucking, licking. 

Saliva dripped down our chins as we ate each other’s face, and I felt Jackson’s dick throbbing on my stomach. 

We broke the kiss with a gasp when we needed to breathe, breathing heavily, and staring into each other’s eyes. 

We said nothing, didn’t move from that spot. 

Jackson’s hands began moving again, but this time they moved under my sweater, touching my bare skin.

His hands touched my back, my folds, and I refused to flinch, refusing to think he might hate them. 

He didn't. 

The lust didn't dim in his eyes. No, it only grew. He walked me backward without taking his eyes off mine, his experienced fingers unhooking my bra, and my chest breathed as my breasts were free from their cages. 

He kept walking me backward as his hands slowly made their way to the front, to my breasts. He pushed the bra aside, and cupped my breasts with both hands without warning. 

I gasped softly, pressing myself to him. He kneaded my breasts, softly, gently, his fingers teasing my pointed nipples. 

“Jackson…” I whispered when I felt my legs shaking.

He said nothing as his hands moved to the hem of my sweater, and then I raised my hands in invitation. He took off the sweater, but his eyes didn't drop to my body immediately. 

When they finally did, they took their time. 

His eyes moved from my neck down to my collarbone, and then to my breasts. That was when his breath hitched, and a deep, sexy sound vibrated from his chest. His eyes moved to my stomach, and I swear, he looked like he was coming undone.

“God,” he rasped as he dragged his eyes back to mine. “God, Siri.”

He pushed me down gently, and my eyes widened, but then I landed on the couch, bouncing slightly on it. 

Jackson wasted no time pouncing on me. 

He caged my body with his as he got on the couch, his knees on both sides. 

I could feel his body shaking, and that hungry look in his eyes was growing.

“I-I want to see you,” I whispered, and before the words were complete, he ripped his hoodie off, and I sucked in a breath as I–finally!–saw his bare body. My hands flew ahead of themselves, and I grabbed his chest. His thick, wide chest. 

I kneaded it as he did mine, his chest rising and falling rapidly in my hands. 

I was breathing like a fucking animal as I looked at him, at the tight muscles in his abdomen, at his eight-pack. And then my eyes went lower to that sharp V-shape that had a trail of hair. Hair that disappeared lower. 

I raised my eyes back to his, and he was silently watching me, his hair falling onto his forehead, almost covering his eyes. 

“All of you, Jackson.”