Be Anyone

Jackson parked in front of the bar. He looked at the bar. He looked back at me. He raised an eyebrow. 

“This is it?”

“Yes. Now get out. Beautiful things await us.”

I opened the car door and stepped out, already heading towards the entrance. Jackson’s long legs made him catch up to me in no time, and we entered together. The place was small and dimly lit, somewhere between a bar and an old-fashioned pub, with wooden booths lining the walls and rows of beer taps behind the counter. 

We picked a table, Jackson sitting down like the place had personally offended him. A waitress, who was chewing gum like she was paid to, came to take our order.

“Yeah?” she said, her voice low and bored. 

“Two beers.”

Jackson raised an eyebrow as she left. “This is your grand plan to cheer me up?”

I gave him a look. “Who says I wanted to cheer you up? And alcohol fixes like forty percent of life’s problems.”

“That’s deeply concerning, darling.” 

I ignored him. What does he know? The beer came, and I clinked our pint glasses together in a toast. 

“Drink up, pretty boy.”

He smirked, the cloud from earlier lifting, and I almost felt… relieved. “Haven't heard that one in a minute.”

I rolled my eyes and took a long sip from my glass. A sip that was interrupted by Jackson’s intense cough. I lowered my glass.

“What in the bloody hell is this?!” he asked, eyes wide, staring at me like I just gave him poison.

I stared back at him. “Beer.”

He looked genuinely offended. “It tastes like horsepiss!”

I nodded. “That’s how you know it’s the best.”

He dropped the glass, wiping his mouth with a napkin. He shook his head. “God, Siri. My heart breaks for your organs.”

I huffed as I reached out for his glass. “More for me, then.”

We sat in silence as I sipped slowly, and I noticed Jackson glancing at me, but when I looked, he was staring at something really interesting on the ceiling. When he did it for the nth time, I snapped.

“What is it?” I asked, my voice low and hard.

He stared at me with his eyebrows furrowed. “What is what?”

When I just continued to glare at him, he sighed deeply and shifted. His knee bumped mine under the table, and we both froze for a second before he cleared his throat. 

“It’s about the away game,” he said, folding his hands and placing them on the table.

“Okay…? What about them?”

“I’m going to be playing five games, Siri. Five nights before a game.”

Ahh. “Is this about your silly belief?” 

His serious expression didn't change. “Call it whatever you want. That doesn't make it go away.”

Right… 

“So what are you trying to say, Jackson?”

“Come with me,” he answered without hesitation, and I froze. “All five countries. Be in my bed the night before every game. Be at every game.” His voice dropped, taking on an intimate tone. “Unfortunately, Siri, you’ve ruined me for anybody else.” 

My eyes dropped. I looked down at the pint glass, my reflection staring back at me. My eyes were wide. 

“Jackson, that’s–”

“Asking for too much, I know,” he completed, his voice still soft.

“Well, I wanted to say intense, but okay,” I muttered, still keeping my eyes down.

“So?” he pressed when I remained silent.

I said nothing. 

Just this morning, I was giving myself a pep talk about how I needed to tighten the boundary between us, but I sat there in this shitty bar, and I couldn't remember any of the words I wanted to say to him. And I… I was actually considering it.

I could tell him to fuck off, to do whatever he wants, but… but the thought of him fucking someone else. The thought of him spending five nights with different women—or the same woman—makes me want to rip my hair out. Was this jealousy? Possessiveness? Was this something you felt when your relationship was “just sexual?”

I swallowed so hard I'm sure he could hear it. My palms were pressed together on my lap, my mouth opening and closing. Jackson didn't press. He gave me time, but his gaze burned into me.

“W-what about school?” I asked finally, my voice small. “What about work? I can't just leave them for two weeks. And what do we tell our parents?”

Excuses. That's what this was, and he shattered all of them.

“The series clashes with winter break, so you won't be missing anything. The café can find someone else to take over your place temporarily. Our parents will live.”

I scoffed. “Easy for you to say. Some of us actually need our jobs, rich boy.”

“Then I'll pay you three times what the café pays you for two weeks.” 

How could he say that so easily? Like it was nothing? 

I glanced up at his intense eyes before I looked away. My palms were sweatier. My heart was racing. 

Two weeks in a place where no one knew my name, or who I was, or who my father was. I could… I could be anything I wanted for those two weeks. 

I… I could be anyone.

“Think of it as a vacation, Siri,” Jackson said softly, and I raised my eyes to him. He still had that soft look. “A winter vacation, if you will. Somewhere you could just go and let go of that tension around your shoulders.”

My heartbeat picked up. My hands were shaking now, but it was from excitement. 

I could be anyone for those two weeks.

“I have never left this town before,” I said, but that wasn't an excuse.

He smiled softly. “Then your first time will be with me.”

My heart kicked against my ribcage. I couldn't look away from his eyes, at that tender look he wasn't bothering to hide. 

“I-I don’t know what to do.”

“Say yes, and I'll take care of everything. You don't even need to pack. I’ll worry–”

“Yes,” I answered, suddenly breathless, a smile lifting my lips. His eyes widened slightly. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

He made a sound, a half sigh, half scoff. “Shit, I didn't think you would agree.”

I was still smiling, and he mirrored it. 

“I could be anyone for those two weeks,” I whispered, my voice shaking, my throat tight.

His eyes softened. He stretched his leg out under the table, his knee pressing into mine. I didn't pull away: I pressed back.

“You could be anyone, darling,” he whispered, and I scoffed, the sound wet as I felt my eyes burn.

“I could be anyone!” I shouted, some people giving me weird looks, but I ignored them.

Jackson laughed, his eyes shining as he looked at me, and I had this urge to… kiss him.