Fear And Cowardice

The orgasm that hit me was so violent, I saw a white light flash behind my eyelids. My body locked up so tight I felt like I was going to get a cramp from my head down to my toes. I bent in half when I could no longer stand straight, my leg dropping from Jackson’s shoulder, and I grabbed his hair so tight, it would be a wonder if he didn't go bald by the end of this.

“Jackson…” I moaned, the sound coming from my throat unrecognizable, weird. 

He didn't stop; he didn't slow. His tongue kept licking my clit before he sucked it into his mouth. His fingers in me were cruel, moving in and out before they curled upwards, pressing that spot in me. 

I was going to die. I was going to die, and this beautiful man was going to be the last thing I saw as I went to heaven. Or, hell. Definitely hell. 

“Jackson, please!” What was I begging him for? To stop? To not drive me fucking insane? Was this revenge for last night? Fuck, it probably was. That’s why he’s trying to kill me. “Jackson!”

He raised his eyes to mine, and the black swallowed the grey, leaving no light behind, and he looked sexy. So fucking sexy I was foaming at the mouth just staring at him. He looked like a devil on a payback mission, and when I saw his lips lift in a smirk, it was confirmed that he was really trying to kill me.

My body was trembling now, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as he kept sucking and thrusting his fingers in me, the sounds coming from both ends dirty and wet. My knees shook, and it was an impossible task to stay standing, but Jackson pressed his free hand into my waist and somehow kept me upright. I could feel a second orgasm incoming without patience, and I don't think I could take it. He had to stop, else I might pass out. I just–

He ripped his fingers away suddenly, releasing my clit from the prison that was his mouth, and my legs gave out, but he caught me as he shot to his feet.

“Hmm,” he purred as he licked his lips clean of my juices, his eyes shining with a dark sparkle that promised more murder attempts. “This is a good look on you, Siri.”

I couldn't even say anything. I just watched him with half-closed eyes as I tried to catch my breath and stop shaking. 

He chuckled darkly, leaning in to my lips. “A good look indeed.”

He swallowed my mouth, not kissing me but devouring me, his tongue pushing into my mouth and making me taste myself on his tongue. That made my chest even lighter. He pulled his lips back and spun me so my chest was pressing into the cold bathroom wall. He grabbed my hips with rough hands, pushing my ass out for him, and my chest pressed deeper into the wall. His hands moved to my ass where he spread my cheeks, and I tensed up when I felt his crown pressed into my entrance.

“Jackson, I need–Oh, God!”

“I’ve said before,” he grunted as he filled me with one thrust, stretching me so much that it burned, and I felt so good. I could feel him in my stomach, pulsing, hot. “It’s just Jackson, baby. I’m no god. My name is what I want to be hearing on your lips.”

He was a monster. That soft and tender Jackson doesn't exist, and that was just a mask. This man right here was a monster. A monster that makes me want to bark and hand over my leash to him, letting him drag me anywhere he wants. And if it was hell where I knew he came from, I would gladly follow with a purr, and my tail wagging. 

“Jackson!” I screamed as he pulled all the way back before he slammed in, his thick balls slapping against my wet, throbbing core, and it created such a sweet sensation that my mouth fell open and saliva dripped out. I didn't bother to close it. 

“That’s it,” he growled as his fingers dug so hard into my ass I knew it would leave marks. “Fucking moan it.” 

And I did. I moaned so loudly my voice bounced off the walls and back to my ears, and I couldn't help but notice how I sounded mad, how I sounded like a different person. Jackson placed a soft kiss on that spot where my shoulder met my neck, and it was such a soft contrast to the brutal, mad thrusts of his hips, to the sharp sound of our skin meeting and slapping together. 

He kissed the spot again, and then bit down on it. My eyes flew wide, my mouth dropping open, but not a single sound escaped as I came for the second time in a short period, and if I thought the first orgasm was killing me, I was sure this one was going to damn my soul. 

“Oh, fuck,” Jackson moaned, his voice breaking. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! You’re squeezing me so tight, baby. Oh fuck me, this feels good!”

My body didn't shake this time, but don’t be fooled: I was dying, about to leave this world, and I wouldn't even complain. 

Jackson slowed his thrusts suddenly, and a gasp tore out of my throat as my soul returned to my body. He grabbed my jaw and turned my head to look at him, and the sight that met me was comforting in a way, comforting to know I wasn't the only one going crazy. Jackson had the look of a man who was losing his marbles, who had decided he didn't need them anymore, and had abandoned them. He was wild, beautiful. A wild, beautiful monster.

“Yes,” he said softly, his hips now moving deep and slow, still hitting that spot in me. “Yes, I want us to be pathetic together, Siri. I want us to be together. God, I want this to be so much more than just sexual. I want to belong to you. All of me. I want to be yours, and hope you could be too.”

“I’m already yours, Jackson,” I said with a voice that was no longer mine, my eyes burning, my throat closed tight with emotions that threaten to consume me if I don't get that out. “All my “just sexual” bullshit was just fear and cowardice. I’ve been yours from that night. And it scared me so much that those words just kinda flew out.”

A laugh burst out of him, his eyes so bright I could almost see my reflection in them. “You can’t imagine how much relief that fills me with, Siri. You can’t imagine how much I've wanted to hear those words. Even I myself just realized how badly I've always wanted to hear them.”

He leaned down and kissed me gently, his lips trembling, and I returned his kiss with as much emotion as I could push into it, hoping he could hear those unspoken words, hoping he could feel my fear, relief, and growing love. He did, because his lips trembled even more. When he broke the kiss and looked into my eyes, the emotions there threatened to consume me.

“Siri, I lo–”

His words ended in a deep growl as he came, burying himself deep into me, and I followed him right off the edge, falling into the abyss with him, and for once, that darkness didn't scare me, and I wasn't alone in it.