Pathetic And Happy

Since that evening in that bar, there has been this… fragile tension between us. There have been moments where the air felt too charged. Moments where just a brush of our fingers was enough to send a spark through me. And since that evening, this was the first time we'd been so… close. 

Jackson’s hair fell forward, his eyes cool. 

“Would you mind explaining something to me?” he said calmly like his weight wasn't on me, like his dick wasn't right in the middle of my core, throbbing and so heavy.

“No,” I breathed, barely a whisper.

“Interesting.”

“Get off me, Jackson.” 

I didn't want him to. I wanted him to remain there. To move and grind that hard dick into me, to put out that fire in me that only seems to be growing. 

Thankfully, he didn't get off. 

“I distinctly remember being threatened last night.”

I rolled my eyes. “I did not threaten you.”

“No?” His expression and voice changed as he tried to mimic me. “Stay on your side of the bed, Jackson. Don’t touch me, Jackson. Keep your hands to yourself, Jackson.”

I almost scoffed. “Your impression of me is terrible.”

He ignored me and went on. “And yet, sometime around three in the morning, I somehow acquire a very determined little parasite.”

My mouth dropped open. P-pa-parasite?

“Fuck you,” I spat, and he just scoffed.

“Already impatient, are we?” he literally purred, rolling his hips. I gasped as his dick dug into my core for a second, fire igniting on my skin. “Just be a little patient, love. We will do all the fucking tonight.”

It felt like someone had set my cheeks on fire. 

“Get off me, Jackson.”

Don’t get off me. Move your hips. Fuck me right now, and then later tonight. 

Jackson leaned in closer to me, and as he did so, his dick moved. Now it was directly on top of my clit, and even though clothes separated our skins, I burned. 

“Do you really want me to move, Siri?” he asked, his voice suddenly rough and deep. As he asked that, he moved his hips, just barely, but his dick rubbed against my clit. 

“No,” I blurted out, my body already shaking. “No, please don't move.”

He smirked, looking like he just won a game I didn't realize we were playing. He leaned down until his lips were just an inch above mine, but he didn't close that inch. 

He kept his eyes fixed on mine as he whispered, “Slowly, Siri, that is how I will get you to admit everything.”

He pulled away suddenly, and I wanted to scream. 

“I’m practicing all day,” he said as he walked towards the bathroom, his voice back to normal. “You’re free to come watch me if you want. Or you can go on touring if you’re fine with doing it alone. I’ll leave my card behind.”

The sound of the bathroom door shutting echoed in my ears like a gunshot. I glared at the door, my chest heaving, my body still heated, my core uncomfortably wet.

That prick! That fucking English prick!

~.~

I didn't go watch Jackson practice, not because I was bitter—still am—but because I was too popular for my own good, and his teammates would recognize me. So I went to tour Vancouver alone. 

With his card. 

His black card. 

His black card that I used to buy a sex toy. 

Now, now listen. I didn't know how it happened, okay?! 

I was at the mall, exploring and wondering what my limit on the card was, and then suddenly I was ambushed. 

“Good day, ma’am! Come check out the store!”

I looked at the shirt she was wearing and what was printed on it. I looked back at her with a polite smile. “Oh, no, I–”

“We have different varieties of toys we’re sure you and your partner will love!”

“I don't ha–”

“Then we have toys for self-pleasure!”

“Again, I don't–”

“Just come check out our store!” 

I decided to check out their store and come out with a sex toy. I sighed as I dropped down on a bench in the park. It was too cold to be sitting out, but the sun was setting, and this sight was too beautiful to miss. 

How did the day pass by so quickly? 

They said time flies when you’re having fun. They weren't really lying. 

An older woman came to sit beside me, wearing a thick coat that covered her small frame, her hands and ears covered. 

She turned to me with kind eyes. “Nuts?” she offered with a warm smile, pushing a pouch my way.

I found myself mirroring her smile. “If you don't mind.”

I dipped my hand into her pouch and came out with a handful of walnuts. We sat there in silence, two women who didn't know each other’s names, and ate nuts while overlooking the sunset.

“It’s beautiful, isn't it?” the woman asked softly. 

I found myself exhaling as I answered, “Yeah.” 

“I missed so much of this in my youth. I was too busy worrying about nothing to notice all the beauties the world has to offer.”

I looked down at the nuts in my hands, and a question just slipped out of my lips, “Have you ever liked someone, ma’am?”

She turned those kind eyes to me. “I like a lot of people.”

“I mean romantically."

“Oh, you bet I have. I was trouble back in my day.”

I found myself laughing, a genuine laugh that shocked me. I looked back at the setting sun. 

“Did it make you pathetic?”

She didn't hesitate. “Absolutely.”

I huffed. “I knew–”

“It made me stupid, reckless, paranoid.”

I stared back at the nuts. “Ahh, so it’s worse.”

“Indeed. It also made me free, bold.” A pause. “Happy.” 

I cracked open a nut. “I don't think someone like me deserves to be happy.”

“Hush!” she whispered-yelled, hitting my lap, and I jumped, my eyes wide as I turned to her. 

“What was that for?!”

She had her index finger pressed to her lips as she whispered, "Don't let the universe hear, else she might really believe it.”

“What?” I whispered, my voice cracking slightly. 

She dropped her finger, smiling softly again. “We all deserve happiness, girl. Even though we think we don’t.” She stood up. “And we can't do life alone. This life is too heavy to be alone. So love while you can. Grab it with both hands if you see even a glance of it.”

And then she was gone. I stared at where she sat, my eyes burning. 

“Right…” I whispered as I stood up. “Right.” 

When I got back to the hotel room, Jackson was already there. He was pacing, phone pressed to his ear. When he saw me, his eyes went wide, and he marched over to me. 

“Fuck, Siri. I’ve been cal–”

I dropped everything I was holding and grabbed his shirt collar. I slammed my lips on his.