Chapter 16

The soft glow of candlelight flickered in the dimly lit restaurant, casting shadows on the walls as Ethan sat across from Sarah. The clinking of silverware and the murmur of conversations around them faded into the background, but Ethan’s mind was elsewhere. He stared at his plate, pushing the food around, his expression distant.

“Ethan, you’re awfully quiet tonight,” Sarah said, a hint of frustration creeping into her voice. She leaned forward, her blonde hair framing her face. “What’s going on?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m just tired, Sarah. It’s been a long week.”

“A long week?” She raised an eyebrow, her tone sharp. “You’ve been saying that for days. It feels like you’re not even here with me.”

Ethan met her gaze, his blue eyes clouded with annoyance. “I’m here, aren’t I? I came out to dinner with you. What more do you want?”

“I want you to be present, Ethan!” Sarah snapped, her voice rising slightly. “You can’t keep using work as an excuse to shut me out. It feels like you’re still thinking about Lily!”

Ethan felt irritation flare. “I’m not thinking about her! I don’t care about Lily anymore. She’s in my past, and I’m trying to move forward.”

“Really? Because it sure doesn’t feel that way,” Sarah challenged, crossing her arms.

"I’m trying to focus on us, but you keep dragging her into this!”

“Dragging her into this?” Sarah echoed, her voice rising. “You’re the one who can’t let go! It’s like I’m competing with a ghost!”

“Stop it, Sarah!” Ethan shot back, his voice low but intense. “You’re making this impossible. I’m not hung up on her. I’m here with you because I want to be!”

“Are you really?” she pressed, her eyes narrowing. “Or are you just here because you feel guilty? Because you think you owe me something after everything?”

Ethan’s expression hardened. “I’m not here out of guilt! I’m here because I care about you. But if you keep bringing up Lily, it’s going to push me away!”

Silence hung in the air as they both processed the weight of his words, the flickering candlelight casting shadows over their unresolved feelings.

“Maybe you need to figure out what you really want,” Sarah said quietly, her voice trembling with emotion. “Because right now, it feels like you’re still stuck in the past.”

Ethan took a deep breath, feeling the tension between them. “I’m trying to build a future with you, but I can’t do it if you keep looking back.”

****

The car ride home was thick with silence, the air heavy with unspoken words. Ethan gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white as he focused on the road ahead. The glow of the dashboard lights illuminated his tense features, but he avoided glancing at Sarah, who sat quietly in the passenger seat, her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

As they pulled into the driveway, Ethan turned off the engine, the sudden silence amplifying the tension between them. He opened the door and stepped out, feeling the cool night air wash over him. Sarah followed, her footsteps hesitant as they walked to the front door of the house—a house that once felt warm and inviting but now seemed filled with echoes of their argument.

Inside, the familiar scent of home wrapped around them, but it felt suffocating. Ethan dropped his keys on the table and moved toward the living room, trying to distract himself with thoughts of work. He grabbed his laptop, settling onto the couch, hoping to bury himself in tasks and avoid the emotional turmoil swirling in his mind.

He stared blankly at the screen, lost in thought. Sarah was right—he had been thinking about Lily constantly. Despite believing that divorce would bring him happiness, he felt emptier than ever. The weight of his past loomed over him like a shadow, casting doubt on his present with Sarah.

Just then, he heard the sound of water turning off and the faint rustle of a towel. His heart raced, and he tried to push thoughts of Lily away, focusing instead on the moment. He wanted to be present for Sarah, but the memories were relentless.

A few moments later, Sarah emerged from the bathroom, her hair damp and cascading over her shoulders. She wore a short, delicate nightgown that clung to her figure, the fabric soft and inviting. The sight of her took Ethan by surprise; she looked beautiful, but his mind was still clouded with confusion.

“Hey,” she said softly, her voice warm as she approached him. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

He met her gaze, feeling a mix of longing and frustration. “It’s fine,” he replied, trying to keep his tone neutral. But inside, he felt a storm brewing.

Without waiting for a response, Sarah sat down on his lap, her body warm against him. She leaned in closer, her breath brushing against his skin. “I just want to be close to you,” she murmured, her eyes searching his for any sign of affection.

As she pressed her lips to his neck, Ethan felt a rush of warmth, but it was quickly overshadowed by his irritation. “Sarah, I’m really not in the mood,” he said, his voice strained as he pulled back slightly.

“Just let me help you unwind,” she whispered, her fingers trailing kisses along his collarbone, inching closer to his lips. Her touch was gentle, inviting, yet Ethan felt a wall rising within him, a barrier he couldn’t seem to break down.

“I can’t,” he said, frustration bubbling to the surface. His voice was strained as he pushed her away slightly, trying to create some space. “Can’t you see I’m not in the mood? Go and sleep; you and the baby need rest.”

Sarah froze, hurt flashing across her face. The warmth of her affection was met with the chill of his words, and she felt a wave of anger rise within her. “Seriously, Ethan? This is how you respond?” she snapped, her voice sharp. “I’m just trying to be close to you, and you shut me down like this?”

Ethan’s jaw tightened, and he could feel the tension crackling in the air. “I’m not shutting you down! I just... I’m dealing with a lot right now.”

“Dealing with what?” she shot back, frustration spilling over. “You think I don’t see how you’re pushing me away? You’re still thinking about her, aren’t you? You can’t even be present with me!”

Her words stung, and he felt the heat of anger rise within him. “I’m not thinking about her!” he snapped.

With a frustrated sigh, Sarah stood up, her expression a mix of hurt and anger. “You know what? I’m done trying to make this work if you won’t even meet me halfway.” She turned sharply and walked toward the bedroom, her heart pounding with a mix of emotion.

“Sarah, wait!” Ethan called after her, but she didn’t stop. He watched her retreating figure, feeling a pang of regret.