Chapter 7

Caiden nodded in reply. Clara could tell that he was pleased with her answer. It also felt like he had been expecting her to say that. 

“I thought you would say that when you saw Clarissa’s memories,” he said. “I will leave now so you can shower in peace. We can talk about revenge later.” 

He let go of her hand and promptly disappeared. By now Clara was used to the quick disappearing act and didn’t bother to wonder where he had gone. 

She returned to the bathroom and gave the bath a wide berth. It wasn’t the same bath Clarissa had used as she had been in a guest bathroom, but it was still a bath. 

Instead, she picked out a shampoo for dyed hair and a hair mask and had a long shower, being careful not to get the covered knife slash wounds wet. Feeling the hot water against her matted hair and sweaty skin was cathartic for her and she felt relaxed when she turned the water off. 

She found Clarissa’s hairdryer by the vanity in her bedroom and noticed it was the very expensive hairdryer that the richest girls in school flaunted in the changing room showers at the sports centre. It was odd to think that she owned one now. 

After drying her hair and picking out a new outfit, she walked down to the bottom floor to find James for afternoon tea. According to Clarissa’s memories afternoon tea could be served in the lounge, his study or the conservatory. As it was a cloudy day and it was still spring, she walked into the lounge. 

As she expected, James was sitting at the small table by the fireplace. There was already a full cake stand and a tea set laid out on the table. 

“Did you start without me?” she asked cheerfully.  

There was no sign of Beryl in the room so she wasn’t feeling on edge. James looked up at her with a thoughtful gaze. 

“I never start without you,” he replied. “Did anything in your room spark any memories?” 

Now it was time to act a little. It helped that she was now aware of how Clarissa usually acted. 

“I went in the bathroom and it all came back. I think I’ve regained all my memories. I feel more like myself at least.” 

James smiled and gave her a hug. 

“I’m glad to hear that you’ve remembered everything,” he said. “Although, the sight of the bath being the stimulus is rather morbid. I wish it had been something more innocent.” 

“I wish it was too,” she replied. “I had a shower in case you’re wondering.” 

“Did you want me to get the bath removed?” James offered. 

That was a kind offer, but Clara felt like it was going too far. She needed to work through her mental problems herself and she was going to achieve that with revenge, not by removing a stimulus. 

“I don’t think it would help.” 

James reached for the teapot and poured out two cups of tea before adding milk and sugar. British style tea had tripped Clara up in hospital and she had asked the nurse why there was milk in her tea. Now seeing milk being poured in was a familiar sight. 

“I have been unsure on how to proceed with this matter. I did speak with your doctor and he recommended a round of therapy which I highly suggest you attend. I will book the best person in the business for you.” 

That was very characteristic of Clarissa’s grandfather. She knew much more about him now from Clarissa’s memories. He was loving and wanted to do the best for her, but he had a tendency to throw money at problems rather than taking a more personal approach. 

That had annoyed Clarissa over time and Clara was beginning to see it in action. 

“It would be for the best,” she agreed tentatively. “Would everything I say to a counsellor be kept confidential?” 

“Of course,” James replied and sipped his tea. “Do you feel like you can return to school yet? You’re getting close to the deadline for university applications.” 

Clara tried to find the appliable memories so she could answer appropriately as Clarissa. She hadn’t finalised her university application as James wanted her to study business and finance whereas Clarissa had wanted to do an art related subject. Clarissa had been too afraid to explain this to her grandfather and had simply delayed her application and had been planning to wait until the last possible day. 

“With regards to university, I have a confession,” she said. 

She had no qualms about telling James that she didn’t want to study business just so she could take over his fashion house. Clarissa had been too nervous to, but she wasn’t Clarissa. 

“What is it?” James asked over his teacup. 

He set it quietly down on the table and gave her his full attention. Clara made sure she was sitting with her back straight when she answered. 

“I want to study art, I don’t want to take over the company,” she admitted. “It feels like you’re forcing it onto me.” 

James was silent for a very long minute and Clara wondered what he was thinking. It was most likely speculation about whether or not his pressure had led to Clarissa’s suicide attempt. The pressure to take over the company had been a factor, but Beryl had been the main cause. 

“I see. I did say that I regret putting pressure onto you... I am content with you studying what makes you happy at university with a condition,” he said slowly. 

“What’s the condition?”  

James took her hand. It was different to the way that Caiden took her hand, it felt fatherly. 

“Your grades in art have never been spectacular, but you have shown prowess in business related subjects. If you can raise your grade in art to an A for the next assessment, I will let you take an art course,” he explained. “Remember, you won’t even get onto an art course if you don’t get the grades the university want. The more prestigious the university, the higher the grade requirements are.” 

Clara knew he was right. Clarissa had known deep down that she didn’t have the grades needed to study art at university. It had been something to yearn for and focus on instead. It also felt like he had given an evasive answer and he didn’t expect her to be able to achieve an A grade. 

Did she have the skills needed herself? 

She scanned through Clarissa’s memories. UK art lessons were different to the ones in her country, but she was confident in her skills. 

“I understand, I will start practising my art,” she said. “I’m okay with going back to school next week.” 

“That’s good,” James said. “I’ve had to inform certain members of staff about what happened to you, but it will otherwise be kept confidential and your teachers will not be aware.” 

Clara knew it was going to be hard going to school as someone who had tried to commit suicide. At least Clarissa wasn’t being bullied at school, it would be even harder to face going to school if that was the case. Clarissa just didn’t have any friends. 

"That’s okay, I don’t want people asking me about it and asking if I’m okay,” she said. 

“Keep your head high,” James advised. “I’ve said everything I need to. Go and see Maria in the kitchen and let her know you’re doing better. She was the one who found you in the bathroom and she’s been very worried since then.” 

“I’ll go and see her after I’ve eaten some cake,” Clara said. 

Maria was the family cook and had been a constant figure in Clarissa’s life. When James left on business trips, she was never alone in the house, there had always been plenty of staff around. 

It was good that Maria had found Clarissa in time as it had allowed her this opportunity for revenge. Clara paused eating when she remembered that she now had access to the internet and could look up news articles about herself as Clara Kennedy. She wanted to know if her suicide had been traced back to bullying at Trinity Academy. 

“Beryl has been worried about you as well, however I’m not going to make you visit her,” James said. “I know you’re not comfortable with her yet even if it’s been over two years since she started living here with us.” 

Clara tried to keep her face neutral. Beryl had often expressed concern for Clarissa in a way that would seem caring to an outsider, but Clarissa had always been able to sense the evil glint in her eyes and the disdainful tone. 

“Beryl doesn’t need to worry about me that much, we’re not related at all and we don’t interact much.” 

That felt like something Clarissa would say based on her memories. Of course, she had to be careful about what she said about Beryl to her grandfather as he was going out with her. 

James gave her a serious look. 

“I brought Beryl into this house for several reasons. One of the reasons was for your benefit. It’s hard for you to only have a grandfather and I wanted her to be like a mother to you,” James told her. “She wants to be close to you, it’s you who doesn’t feel the same way.” 

This was a very well-worn conversation. Clarissa’s memories flashed by and she could see that James wanted them to get on well for his sake and Clarissa’s. He was just completely unaware of Beryl’s true personality when he wasn’t around. 

Clara pushed away her plate and stood up. 

“I’m going to the kitchen.” 

Her actions effectively ended the conversation and her grandfather waved her away. Clara left the room and walked down the hallway to the other end of the house where the large kitchen was situated. The first thing that hit her when she opened the door was the smell of freshly baked bread. 

Maria was sitting at the table with a cup of tea when she entered. She was a plump faced woman with brown hair tucked back into a bun and a very friendly smile. She had been the cook ever since Clarissa could remember. The other household staff consisted of a butler for her grandfather and two maids who did the cleaning. 

“Clarissa!” Maria exclaimed. “Come and sit with me. I’m glad to see you out of the hospital.” 

Clara sat down opposite her and felt considerably more relaxed than she had when sitting down for afternoon tea with James. It was likely because Clarissa only had happy memories of sitting down to chat with Maria. 

“Thank you for saving me the other day, I can’t thank you enough.” 

Maria lay her hand on her shoulder and gave her a warning glance. 

“I never want to see something like that ever again. No one wants to find someone they care about in a bath full of their own blood. Why did you do it?” 

Clara hung her head and gave her most honest answer that was for her and Clarissa. 

“I just felt like I couldn’t live anymore and dying felt like the right answer.” 

Maria patted her shoulder. “Poor girl. Are you doing better now?” 

“I feel different now,” Clara replied. 

Maria sighed in relief. 

“You’re so lucky I came back when I did. It’s odd that you were alone in the house with Beryl for so long. It felt like she found a way to get rid of everyone here for the morning. I was sent out to get unusual ingredients for dinner, it was the butler’s day off and the maids were sent out to buy her make up from the other side of London.” 

Clara narrowed her eyes. It was sounding like Beryl had created the perfect set of circumstances for Clarissa to die by her own hand. Now that she replayed the memories it did feel like Beryl had manipulated Clarissa’s emotions so she would see suicide as a way out and couldn’t see any other escape. 

She saw Caiden appear behind Maria and did her best to pretend he wasn’t there. 

“I swear it was something to do with Beryl even if you don’t know it. I’ve always got the feeling she’s been out to get you since she came here. Maybe she struck that day knowing there was no one else to witness,” Maria suggested with a frown. 

 Clara looked at Caiden for confirmation. 

“She is right,” he said. “Beryl deliberately planned everything out so Clarissa would die on that day.”