4. Jealousy and Hatred

Jealousy and Hatred

Benjamin entered the club with Eric and Kane. Finally it was Friday. His lips curved lightly when he saw Max, Harry, Park and Finn on their familiar couch. He didn’t see Noah though. 

"Hello guys". Eric met them followed by Kane and was greeted by the wolf gang cheering with their bottles. 

"Where is Noah"? Benjamin asked, trying to sound casual. 

"Home". Finn answered keenly observing his expressions and it did not escape his eyes. The disappointment. 

"Home"!!! Benjamin repeated unassure. Noah didn't tell him when they met last time. Or maybe a last moment program. 

He was still processing when the next thing made him choke on the beer. 

"He fainted yesterday in the field while doing a punishment. He had an empty stomach and was dehydrated due to heat. His feet bled too". Finn was just telling but he could see the panic on Benjamin's face. 

"Is he okay"? Eric spoke. He was rather on good terms with Noah. He was worried too. 

"We had to rush him to hospital. And then his family took him home after he was discharged in the morning". Park said. Harry was silently observing too. Like Finn, he was sharp in observing behaviours. 

"Eric . You have his number"? Benjamin turned to Eric. He really couldn't hide his anxiety. Eric turned to him, a bit surprised but handed him his phone. 

Benjamin copied the number and contemplated for a while to either call him or text? Since it wasn't late, he chose to call him right away. They were friends. It shouldn't be an issue right? 

He dashed out of the bar to call him, praying in his heart that he was awake. 

"Hello Noah. How are you? It's Benjamin here. Finn just said...". 

"Benjamin? Who Benjamin"? He was cut midway when he heard a deep voice. It wasn't Noah. At least he could recognize his voice.

"Uhmm, I am Benjamin Brian, his university fellow. From the Medical Faculty, may I know who is there and where is Noah?” He tried to sound as calm as he could. But his heart.... Is he the one? The one he saw? Ohhh that’s why Noah wanted to buy a couple shirts. He was the one?

"Ohh i didn't know Noah had friends outside the Engineering gang. Anyway he is sleeping. I will let him know that you called". The person wanted to hang up but.. 

"You didn't tell me who you are? And why are you taking his calls"? Benjamin clearly sounded angry. And jealous? But why be jealous?

"Its not important who I am. I will let him know that you called. Good night, Brian". The call was disconnected. 

"Fuckkkkk". Benjamin shouted in anger. "Who the hell does he think of him? Not important, my foot. Stingy". He was cursing him when Eric came out too. 

"Benjamin what happened? How's Noah"? Eric asked him in a worried tone but was surprised to see an angry and pissed Benjamin. 

"Ask yourself. Asshole. Stingy. I am leaving bye". He turned and left for his car leaving a confused Eric . 

"What's with him? What did I do? Asshole? Me"? He pointed to himself entering the bar again.

************

"I will inform Noah. I don’t know if Noah has friends in the Medical Faculty. Fuck. Who the hell he thinks he is. Why does he need to know everyone Noah met? Or befriends. Idiot. Stupid". Benjamin was still cursing standing under the shower to cool down himself.

"I hope Noah is fine". His anger subdued when he thought about Noah. He came out of the shower rubbing his head and wearing a robe. 

Just then his phone rang. 

"Noah". He saw the ID and picked up the call on the second bell.

"Benjamin. You okay? I just woke up and got to know you called. Everything okay"? 

Benjamin didn’t know why tears slipped past his eyes as he heard Noah's calming voice. 

He breathed deep.

"Ye.. Yes everything is fin … fine ... Finn *he cleared his throat* Finn informed us about you. I was worried so I asked Eric  to give me your number. I .. I am sorry if I disturb you". He tried hard not to tremble. 

"Benjamin. What happened? Why do you sound like crying? Is everything okay? You know you can talk to me. Right". Noah spoke after a moment of silence. His heart was beating fastly. Why was Benjamin crying? 

"Me... Crying.  Oh no. Why... Why would I cry? I just took a shower and caught a bit of flu.. That's it. That's it. Why would I cry"? Benjamin bit his lips. He hoped Noah would buy the lie. Noah was quiet again. 

But then he sighed. 

"Benjamin. Take rest and medicine. I will be back on Sunday okay"? Noah said. Benjamin shut his eyes tight once to let a few more tears slip. 

"Yeah. Take care of yourself too. Goo... Goodnight Noah". He hung the call when Noah replied. 

His knees lost all strength and he slipped on the floor by the wardrobe.

"Why does it hurt"? It was the second night that Benjamin was crying for that stupid who was unaware...

Or so he thought.

Because in the other city, in his room, there was a boy lying on the bed with closed eyes. He felt a pair of soft fingers racking his hair and he let himself lose. 

"It hurts..". He was crying once again in his brother's arms. 

Conrad looked at him helplessly and then at Daniel who was just sitting. 

Conrad sighed....

"So it’s Benjamin"? He asked and he felt Noah frozen in his embrace. 

"Con"... 

"What Con, Noah. You are hurting, he is hurting, why dont...". 

"What? Why is he hurting? Did he say anything to you Con? I felt he was crying too. But he said "why would he cry"? Noah looked up to him.

"Honestly, I don't know. But I picked up the phone when he called you. And he was instantly kind of... Ummm jealous to know who I am and why I picked the phone. I didn't tell him though. I am not sure how close he is to you. But he was pissed off". Conrad explained. 

"Benjamin. Jealous. Pissed. Why? Over me"? Noah sat up on the bed. He was confused. 

Just then Daniel entered the room again with coffee and settled himself in Conrad's arms. 

"Thats exactly why your brother told you to talk. You are friends good enough but you cant live your life as a friend only. Even if it is one sided, why don’t you talk to him? He will reject you at maximum. And what if he accepted? And what if you stay silent and he changes his path"? Daniel told him.  

"I am not afraid of him rejecting me, Daniel. He will break all ties with me. And that scares the hell out of me. I don't want to lose him even if it costs me my love. He has just agreed to be my friend. Let's cherish the moment". He wasn't speaking more than a whisper. 

"Just remember. We are always here for you. Now sleep. It's late. Also Dad is coming tomorrow". Conrad ruffled his hair before planting a soft kiss on his cheeks. Daniel did too and then left for their room leaving him in thoughts. 

He held his phone, opening the call history. He saved the number with Benjamin's name. 

"Good Night Benjamin. I am fine now. Thank you for checking on me". He didn't know why he sent him.

Benjamin saw his mobile flash a bit indicating a new notification. He just held his mobile, not interested anyway, but who knows it may be important. 

His eyes open wide at the message. 

The simple message was enough to make his heart at ease. He smiled before typing back.

"Glad to know. That's what friends are for. Stupid". He replied with a smile and closed his eyes. He just has to wait for Sunday.

**********

"Benjamin. Come on. Just say yes now". Eric and Kane were pesturing him to spend a day out. Not that Benjamin was busy, but he wasn't in a mood. But he knew Eric and Kane won't leave him. 

So here he was dressed up in casual clothes roaming around. They had opted to watch a movie after lunch. 

It was an action thrill. They had fun after a long time, friends time. 

They were heading to the food court choosing the menu for lunch. Eric and Kane were raw food lovers. He was a Korean food lover. But he was never an imposing kind of person. He was easy going. Whatever movie to see. Whatever food to eat. He would just go for flow. Even at this time he was smiling at the two bickering.

Kane was as always complaining to Eric that he sides with Benjamin. And Benjamin just stuck his tongue out, teasing him. Just then his eyes caught a little gift shop. 

"Eric, Kane you guys choose the menu i will be back". He strode off and good enough Eric and Kane didn't ask him why he was going to the gift shop. It was not so Benjamin. 

He went into the shop looking around and finally he caught something that could match the rough looks of Noah. He smiled and got it packed. He couldn't wait for Monday to come. 

**************

"Daniel. I am fine. Oh god. You are more stingy than Conrad and Mom, Dad collectively". Noah was getting irritated as Conrad and Daniel dropped him to the dorm and then took him to his University to drop. 

And now Daniel was nagging to take precautionary measures for his feet and health. 

"Jeeeezzz Con. Take your Husband. Calm him down please". He pulled Daniel to hand him over to Conrad who was chuckling looking at their interactions. 

Noah was apparently sulking but he was happy being spoiled by two. And now he was teasing Daniel for being shy at his husband's antics. 

"Okay then we are leaving. We are going off for a week. And will be back on Friday. Take care and don't pull any trouble. Okay"? This time Conrad came forward to hug him tight. His eyes were misty. 

"Okay. You take care and have fun. And please step out of the room too. I have handed Daniel the list of things I want. But that would be only possible if both of you step out of the room. So please". He winked and Daniel smacked his head. 

"You rascal. Now go. It's your Sotus time". Daniel hugged him tightly followed by Conrad again. 

"Here. Your pocket money". He handed him an envelope.. Noah chuckled. Although his account was enough for him to have fun. His allowances from Dad, and then fun time from Mom and spoiling time from Conrad and Daniel both. 

"I feel like a sugar baby". He laughed while putting the envelope in his pocket. 

"Asshole". Conrad and Daniel turned to their car. While Noah turned only to face Benjamin. 

He was surprised but happy to see him..

"Benjamin you here.. Wh..." Benjamin raised his finger to keep quiet. 

"Wow. Gabriel. Someone special eh"? He said in a sarcastic tone. Pointing at his back. Noah looked at him with knotted brows. And turned to his back where Daniel was exiting the car. 

"Yes, Special. Very special. Right handsome"? He pecked Noah's head, enveloping him in his arms. 

Noah was just dumbfounded. What the hell was going on? His forehead creased. Why was Benjamin looking pissed off? Why was Daniel so cheesy? Well Daniel was cheesy to him. But why now? Why pull Benjamin's leg. 

Before Noah could say anything, Benjamin grabbed his hand and thrust a paper bag forcefully into his hand before going back.

Noah was about to call him, but he saw Benjamin turning back to him. 

"Next time, don't you dare call me or show me your face. Got it Gabriel". And he went back to his car without turning back. 

"The Fuck". Noah came out of the shock as soon as the car disappeared from his vision. 

"Yes the fuck Noah. And you still need an answer to why Benjamin is jealous"? Daniel smacked his head again. 

"Hoyii. I don't have high hopes. And if there was any you drained it in the gutter. He wont talk to me ever. I told you, I will lose a friend too". Noah was pulling his hair. 

Daniel smiled and turned him to face him. 

"The Gabriels, I know, are never scared to face challenges to get their love. Your brother proposed to me when I was Straight as an arrow and hated Gay. And today it’s been years. And here Noah Gabriel is acting like a scary mouse. Tsk tsk tsk". He mocked him, patting his shoulder and went to the car. 

"What’s now"? Conrad asked him once they exited the university gate.

Daniel sighed, pinching his nose bridge. 

"They are stupids.". 

"Love makes people stupid". Conrad grinned, holding his hand on gear. 

"I wasn't. You were". Daniel replied with a pink smile. 

"Okay I was. And still I am.. Yours stupid". Conrad kissed his knuckles, as Daniel leaned his head on his shoulder. "He will be fine Daniel. Don’t worry. We are always for him. Right"? He kissed his head. He was worried too but he knew his brother. 

*********

Noah had a busy day with Sotus and his pending assignments for a day. He couldn't get time to even think about the event from the morning. He wanted to go to Benjamin but he couldn;t spare a moment till 6 in the evening after his lab. 

They all were hungry and tired. And Noah was extra exhausted since he was still dehydrated a bit. 

"Lets go to roadside dinner by the faculty". Max stood up and dragged everyone out. 

Noah pulled out his phone. There was no harm in trying his luck right. 

"Hey Benjamin. Did you have your dinner?” He sent. 

Benjamin was just finishing his assignment when his phone chimed. 

His eye brows furrowed at the message but he didn't reply. 

"We are going to have dinner at the ramen shop. Want to come"? Noah saw the message was read but never replied so he messaged again. 

Benjamin read the other message and was surprised. He had not replied to the previous message and here Noah was asking for Dinner out. 

He turned the mobile without replying. 

"Can I pick you up"? Noah again saw his message read and he typed another message. 

Benjamin was fuming with anger now. 

"What the hell Noah? I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to see you. And you are asking for dinner. Go fuck yourself". Benjamin switched off his phone this time. His mind was a mess.

Noah had his eyes wide in shock.  He didn't know what made Benjamin so angry. He felt his hunger fade. Without saying a word he left the table and went back to his dorm..

"What the hell did I do Benjamin"? He was helpless and clueless. But he knew maybe his brother knew something. He wanted to call them but dropped the idea. They were on their god knows which honeymoon. And he didn't want to disturb their time.

He decided he would talk to Benjamin. 

But maybe it wasn't his lucky time. The week went in a blur. Sotus was ending. His assignments. Labs. He was screwed. His senior Hazers were training him to be Hazer next year. Along with his four friends. They were grilled in their schedule. Morning 6 till 10 at night. 

Finally it was a day off. Thursday. A day before their Beach Gear Ceremony. 

They got free by lunch time. And then Noah decided something. 

"I am going to Medicals". He spoke out. Finn just looked at him. Somehow somewhere he knew. 

"Why"? Max asked.

"Just... To have lunch with the medical gang". He replied, shrugging his shoulders. His friends shared a gaze before standing up. 

"Let's go". Park pulled him to the parking lot to go to the Medical Faculty. 

Noah easily spotted Benjamin sitting with Eric and Kan. And today he wanted to clear everything out. To apologize and invite them for the beach Sotus closing evening. 

The food court was murmuring in whispers as 5 engineers entered the court. 

"Hi Eric . Hi Kane. Hi Benjamin". He greeted everyone cheerfully while his friends moved to the food stalls. 

Eric and Kane nodded while Benjamin stood up picking up his books and bag. 

"Benjamin. Where are you going"? Noah held his hand but Benjamin pulled it out. His behaviour was a shock for all. Including Eric and Kane. Noah was shocked. 

"Benjamin. I don’t know what I did to annoy you. But I am really sorry for whatever I did. Please listen to me for once. We are friends...".

The food court was dead silent. 

Noah was stunned. His left cheek was stinging with the pain of the slap from Benjamin. 

"You... Don't you dare Gabriel. I don't want to see you. I dont want to fucking listen to whatever shit you want to tell. Go and fuck those who spread their legs for you or those for you open your legs. 

I hate you to the core. And I hate fucking cheaters. Now get the fuck out. And don’t face me ever. I am Benjamin Brian and you Noah Gabriel  dont fucking deserve me. Not even as a friend". Benjamin said, raising his finger at a shocked Noah, who even forgot to breathe and blink. He felt someone pour a bucket of ice water on him. 

Benjamin was about to walk out but Noah pulled his wrist tight. No matter how hard Benjamin tried, he couldn't even twist his hand. 

"Listen you Benjamin Brian. I know you are high. Much higher than me. Out of my league. I didn't even know you before the competition. I always saw you with Eric and Kane during the competition days. 

My heart only beat for you when you gave me that 1 rose. I lost to Eric but I got you. And nothing matters to me. For me only the boy mattered who gave me the rose. I never believed in falling or feelings for someone. Only you stir my heart. 

You were the only one I fell for. I still don't know what I did for you to hate me. But today I came to apologize to you and invite you to be with me at the Gear ceremony. 

I wanted to make it special for us. I know it would be too soon and too unsure to say on your behalf, but I wanted to announce in front of everyone that this Noah Gabriel is in love with the most beautiful, most handsome man ever. Benjamin Brian. 

But thank you. You told me my place. I was prepared for your rejection, but I never thought I would have to listen to I HATE YOU, NOAH even before I say I LOVE YOU Benjamin. 

I am not a cheater. We are Gabriels, we never cheat. 

You are right. I don’t deserve you. But mind my words. One day, you will come to me. And maybe that day I would say, You Don't Deserve Me. 

Let’s go guys". Noah strode out of the cafe with his friends. His face screamed pain. But what scared Benjamin were those burning eyes. He felt he was burnt to the core. 

And not to mention the lone tear that escaped Noah's eyes that he wiped more harshly than the slap from Benjamin..

Eric came to Benjamin, spreading his arms on his shoulder. 

"I lost him, Eric . I lost him". He broke down in tears. 

"Benjamin, you should have listened to him. At least you should have let him explain". Kane came forward too. 

Benjamin could only cry. Those words were killing him inside. 

"Eric what if he never returns to me"? He turned to Eric  for any assurance but even Eric wasn’t sure. 

"I dont know Benjamin. I dont know". 

"I love you Noah. I do". Benjamin was crying and this was all he could do. 

*********

Tabby