Chapter 5

EVIE

The world didn’t end.

It felt like it should have when my bones split apart, when fire burned through my skin like molten, when I screamed so hard my throat cracked. But instead of dying, the darkness came, and in it, was like something else woke up.

A heartbeat that wasn’t just mine. A voice whispering in my ear, burning under my skin.

Run.

I gasped, but it wasn’t air in my lungs anymore. It was wind. Sharp. Cold. Free.

I staggered upright on legs that weren’t mine. Paws pressed into the dirt. My vision sharpened until the night wasn’t dark at all—it was alive. Every rustle, every heartbeat, every thread of scent burned into me like I’d always known them.

The wolf.

I was on four legs. The forest clearer, the world louder, the air crisper than it had ever been. My paws dug into the dirt, and I felt alive. No, more than alive. I felt… free.

A howl tore out of my throat, and before I could think I was running. The ground disappeared beneath me as I soared over roots and rocks. Then, beside me, a flash of dark fur.

Lucian.

His wolf was enormous, black as the night, eyes glowing like blue fire. He kept pace with me easily, his movements smooth, predatory, yet protective. I could feel him. Not just beside me, but inside me.

The voice in my head screamed: Mate. Mate. Mate.

Every brush of his fur against mine sent shocks through me. Every look from those glowing eyes made my breath stutter. I wanted to run faster, to chase him, to let him chase me, to surrender to it.

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t afraid. I was infinite.

Until my body faltered.

The strength drained out of me as quickly as it had come. My paws stumbled, my vision blurred. My wolf whimpered as I collapsed onto the forest floor. The last thing I heard was Lucian’s howl turning into words inside my head, clear as day.

“Hold on to me, Evie. I’ve got you.”

And then, darkness swallowed me.

*****

I woke with a strangled gasp, my body jerking upright before I even realized I was awake.

My chest heaved. My skin was slick with sweat. The sheets twisted around me like a trap.

For a second I thought it had been a nightmare. But then the memories hit like glass shattering.

My bones breaking. The burning in my veins. The scream that ripped out of me when the world cracked open. The ground beneath my paws. The wind in my fur. The taste of earth and moonlight filling me like I’d never breathed before.

I looked down at my hands. Human. Shaking. My nails dug into my palms until they hurt just to make sure they were real.

“Oh God,” I whispered, pressing my trembling fingers to my lips. “Oh my God, it wasn’t a dream.”

I wasn’t human.

The thought cut through me like a blade.

“You’re awake.”

The voice froze me.

My head snapped up and there he was. Lucian. Leaning against the wall like he’d been there the whole time, his arms folded, his eyes fixed on me with that piercing stare that made it impossible to breathe.

Every inch of me remembered him—his arms holding me when the pain swallowed me whole, his voice in my ear promising things I couldn’t understand. My body reacted before my mind could catch up, heat curling low in my stomach.

“You’re—” I could barely get the word out. “You’re real. This is real.”

Lucian pushed off the wall, slow, careful. Like I might break if he moved too fast.

“You shifted,” he said, his voice low.

The word sliced through me. I let out a cracked laugh. “Shifted? Don’t call it that. I—” My chest heaved as I clawed at the sheets. “I turned into a fucking animal. I felt my bones snap. My hands, my face, my body—” The words tumbled out in sobs. “You let me turn into a monster.”

I bent forward, curling my arms around myself as if I could hold all the broken pieces together. My forehead pressed to my knees. I couldn’t stop shaking. “This can’t be happening. I can’t—this can’t be me.”

For a long moment there was only silence. My uneven breathing. The hammering in my chest.

Then his voice rang through the space. “It is you.”

I flinched, lifting my head. My eyes blurred with tears but I still saw him step closer, crouching down until we were face to face. His expression wasn’t cold. It wasn’t cruel. It was worse. Gentle. Like he saw me drowning and refused to look away.

“You’re not human anymore,” he said steadily. “But you’re not a monster either.”

“Then what the hell am I?” My voice broke because I already knew I didn’t want his answer.

His eyes didn’t waver. They burned straight through me.

“Mine.”

The word hit harder than the shift itself.

I shook my head, pressing back into the headboard. “No. Don’t you dare say that. Don’t put this on me. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask for you.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Lucian said softly. “It was never a choice.”

The worst part? My body believed him even while my mind screamed to deny it. My pulse leapt. My breath stuttered. Heat seared under my skin like invisible chains pulling me closer to him.

I hated it. I hated him. I hated myself for not hating him enough.

“Get out,” I whispered, my hands trembling so badly they barely clenched the sheets. “Please, just get out. Let me breathe.”

But Lucian didn’t move. He crouched there, his jaw tight, his eyes searching mine like he could see every crack, every weakness.

“I can’t leave you like this,” he murmured.

“Why?” My voice rose, breaking. “Why do you even care? You dragged me out of my life, you knew this was coming, and you left me to burn until I thought I’d die. And now I’m supposed to just accept it?”

Lucian’s breath caught, his control fraying for the first time. His voice roughened. “You think I don’t care? You think I didn’t feel every second you screamed? That I didn’t want to tear myself apart just to take it from you?”

Something inside me cracked at the way his voice shook on the last word.

My heart slammed against my ribs. My throat ached.

I wanted to hate him. God, I wanted to. But instead, my eyes betrayed me, dropping to his mouth, his clenched jaw, the veins in his neck straining like he was holding back more than words.

I sucked in a shaky breath, nails biting into my palms. “Don’t. Don’t look at me like that.”

He leaned closer, his forehead almost touching mine. His voice was raw, strained.

“I can’t help it.”

The space between us shattered. My body moved before my mind could scream no.

When his lips touched mine—soft at first, almost careful and I broke.

It wasn’t gentle after that. The restraint snapped like a thread pulled too tight. His mouth pressed harder, hungrier, until it crushed against mine and the world tilted.

My back hit the mattress before I even realized he had pushed me down. His weight pressed over me, terrifying in the way it made every nerve in my body sing.

The kiss deepened, raw and desperate, his hands braced on either side of my head like he was afraid if he touched me any other way he’d shatter me completely. My fingers curled into his shirt, betraying me, pulling him closer when my mind screamed to push him away.

The bed dipped under his weight as he leaned closer, his chest pressed flush against mine. His scent wrapped around me until I couldn’t breathe without breathing him.

A sound slipped from my throat, half whimper, half moan, and it snapped me back to myself.

“No—” My palms flattened against his chest. I shoved, weakly at first, then harder when I felt how easily he could keep me there. “Stop. I can’t… I can’t do this.”

Lucian froze. His breath was ragged, his lips still ghosting over mine. For a heartbeat, I thought he’d ignore me, thought he’d keep going because the bond between us didn’t understand the word no.

But then he tore himself away like it physically hurt him. His jaw was tight, eyes burning with something feral, but he forced himself back, standing so fast the room seemed colder without him.

The silence between us was deafening. My lips still tingled. My chest still heaved like I was drowning.

Lucian’s gaze lingered on me, before he finally muttered, low and strained, “I need air.”

And then he was gone.

I sat there shaking, dragging the sheets tighter around myself as if they could protect me and my whole body hummed like it had been rewired.

It took me forever to gather the strength to move, to dress, to pretend like I wasn’t still shaking inside.

When I finally slipped into the hallway, the house was too quiet. Too empty. I padded down the stairs, my hand brushing the wall to steady myself, trying not to think about Lucian’s mouth on mine.

Then I saw him.

Not Lucian.

Ronan.

He was coming from the opposite end of the hall, his dark hair slightly mussed, his expression startled when his eyes caught mine. For a second, I thought about ducking away, hiding from everyone else, but before I could, my foot caught on the edge of the rug.

I stumbled forward.

Ronan was there in an instant, his hand catching my waist, steadying me. My body collided with his chest, firm and warm, and in the clumsy crash of it my lips brushed his. Just barely. Just enough.

We froze.

The contact was nothing compared to what had just happened with Lucian, but it was enough to steal my breath. Enough to make the air between us tighten like a string pulled too taut.

His eyes locked on mine, wide and his grip on me tightened. He didn’t let go. For a beat too long, neither of us moved.

Then I tore myself back, heat burning up my neck. “I—sorry,” I whispered, breathless.

Ronan straightened, his expression shifting into something careful, guarded. He cleared his throat, his hand falling from my waist like it had never been there.

“It’s fine,” he said quietly and ran his fingers through his hair. “I… I have something I need to do.”

He turned and walked away, quick steps echoing down the hall, his shoulders stiff. He didn’t look back.

I stood frozen where he’d left me, staring at the space he disappeared into as I wondered what the hell that was about.