Chapter Two

“Help Nick. I know.” Katie wasn’t backing down now, not one goddamn bit. “You’ve called about two hundred different clinics – here and in Canada – begging the doctors to take a look at Nick’s medical records, begging for them to give you a second opinion. When you didn’t like it, you got a third, then a fourth. How many did you get in the end?”

“I don’t know,” Mia muttered.

“Well, I do,” Katie said relentlessly. “Thirty-six. You had thirty-six different doctors tell you that amputation is the only course of action in Nick’s case, and every single time that happened, you just buckled down more. Fought harder. ”

“Again, how is this a bad thing?”

“You don’t eat,” Katie said. “You look like you’ve dropped about fifteen pounds in less than a month. You don’t sleep. You don’t talk, not to us, not to Nick. Did you know that you’ve been sitting in that chair for three hours straight, Mia, and that you didn't say a word to any of us until Marnie asked if you wanted a coffee? You haven’t even moved, except to check your watch.”

“And?” Mia said, her light-brown eyes spitting fire. “And what?”

“And,” Katie said quietly. “You haven’t cried, Mia. Not once in three weeks.”

Furious, Mia jumped to her feet. “OK, enough.”

“Mia –”

“No,” Mia said, almost shaking with anger now. “What was I meant to do Katie, in your opinion? What would have been the right behavior for the circumstances? Was I supposed to just sit around and not try to find another way? Just accept all of this without a goddamn fight? Would you do that for Adam, if it were his leg?” She shot a glare at Reena. “Would you stop looking for another way if it were Mitch in there under the knife?”

“Hey, Mia,” Mitch said, trying to calm her down. “It’s OK, sweetheart –”

“It’s not,” she spat at him. “It’s not and you fucking know it’s not, so don’t you patronize me, sweetheart.”

He put up his massive hands. “I’m not. I’m –”

“Or maybe I should have sat around and wrung my hands?” Mia returned to her full-on assault on Katie. She was the one who had started this asinine conversation, after all, so she was going to get the full brunt of Mia’s anger. “Just sat on my ass and been all tragic and sad and pathetic? Cried all over the damn place and expected you guys to give me hugs and head pats? Would that have been better, in your view? More helpful for Nick to have to comfort his sobbing girlfriend, instead of putting his energy into trying to come to terms with what’s happening to him?”

“Mia,” Katie said, seriously alarmed now. She’d never seen her friend in this condition: Mia was like a wild beast, snarling and spitting in rage. She hadn’t expected this and Katie only saw now and belatedly just how badly they’d all misjudged Mia’s state of mind – especially her. As stupid as it sounded, Katie had had no idea that Mia was actually this on-edge. “I’m sorry…”

“Shut up,” Mia hissed. “Just stop talking. Now.”

She spun on her heel and bolted out of the waiting room. She stalked right on past the elevators, hit the stairs, hurtled down four floors to the ground level, exploded out of the hospital front doors. The summer heat rose up off the pavement and smacked her in the face, and in a totally weird way, it cooled her temper.

Suddenly Mia felt like the world’s biggest bitch. Her friends were just concerned, and – if she were being honest with herself – they had reason to be. Just not for the reasons that they thought.

She spotted an empty bench across the parking lot, made her way over to it. She sat down and stared at the flower bed in front of her. Rows and rows of brilliant roses in all colors, and suddenly she just wanted to cry.

Nick gave me red roses for my birthday… nobody had ever bought me roses before that.

Tears threatened, but she forced them back. On that awful day when Nick had finally told her what was going on with him, and she’d taken him to her bed and held him, Mia had lain there and made herself a promise: no tears. She had no goddamn right to indulge in them and – frankly – she didn’t have the time. She’d needed to help Nick, and she’d immersed herself in that.

It had all come to nothing, in the end. She hadn’t been able to save his leg, and her failure still made her stomach churn and twist. Anything that she ate just came right back up again, so she’d given up eating. Desperation to find an answer had kept her thoughts racing, so she’d given up sleeping.

Worst of all, guilt weighed heavy on her; so heavy that some days, Mia almost gave up breathing.

A shadow fell over her now, and she glanced up to see Adam standing there. Right away, she tensed, sure that he was there to kick her ass for shouting at his girlfriend. Adam was nothing if not insanely protective of Katie, and Mia knew that she’d more than crossed the line.

“Hey.” His rough voice was gentle. “Can I sit?”

Startled, Mia peered up at him, really took him in. What she saw took her aback.

Adam was hands-down the largest man that Mia had ever set eyes on, but as he stood there, he looked – diminished, somehow. Shrunken and exhausted, almost beaten down. He had dark shadows under his hard blue eyes, and he looked pale. More than that, he looked tentative and insecure, and it was this last thing that really shocked her, all the way to her core.