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Finding My Way Without You
Finding My Way Without You
Auteur: Canal

Chapter 1

Auteur: Canal
By the time I stumbled home following my phone's map, it was already the middle of the night.

The wrong road Paxton Levis had directed me down ran past an abandoned factory.

When I fell, a piece of exposed rebar tore into my ankle, close enough to punching straight through my foot.

Blood dripped into the mud and onto the floor. I didn't even have the strength to change my shoes, just braced myself against the shoe cabinet and tried to catch my breath.

My mother saw me and gasped.

She rushed over to hold me up. "Cleo, what happened to you? Didn't Paxton say he was taking you on a road trip?"

I looked down at the torn, curled-back skin on my ankle and told her everything, start to finish.

The light in her eyes dimmed, little by little, replaced by disbelief.

"How could this happen?" she murmured.

"Before your high school finals, he used to take the long way on his bike every single day just so you wouldn't be late.

"And when you got lost in college, he was so panicked he almost called the police.

"He even said that when he bought a house someday, it would be somewhere you could find your way home to with your eyes closed."

Her hands shook as she wiped the mud off my face. "I watched him grow up. How did he turn into this?"

I cut her off. "Mom, don't. I want to study abroad."

She cleaned and dressed my wound with careful hands.

"All right. I'll get your paperwork sorted. We'll go somewhere far away from all of this."

Later that night, the wound got infected, and my fever climbed to 39 degrees Celsius.

Half-conscious, I heard my mother on the phone in the living room.

"Paxton, you told me you'd take care of Cleo, and that's the only reason I let her go anywhere with you. Her foot was almost ruined for good. Is this what you call taking care of her?"

The voice on the other end was too muffled to make out, but my mother slammed the phone down, furious.

The phone by my pillow buzzed.

"Your mom just called and chewed me out. Cleo, I really didn't expect you to be so delicate that you'd end up running a fever over this.

"Fine. I won't leave you behind by yourself again next time, all right? Just get better soon."

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  • Finding My Way Without You   Chapter 11

    I pulled a fresh napkin from the dispenser and laid it flat in front of Seth."Dr. Gilman, would you mind drawing it again? The last one got ruined by some trash."Paxton's voice had started to shake."Cleo, what did you just say?"I raised my eyes. "I said you ruined my map.""I used to be the only one who ever taught you how to find your way.""That's right. Because the road you taught me led straight to a dead end. If I'd followed that map of yours again, I'd have lost my other foot too."All the color drained from Paxton's face.Seth picked up his pen and traced the red flags onto a fresh napkin."There. See you this weekend."He stood and slid the napkin across to me."See you this weekend."I folded it carefully and tucked it into my pocket.Paxton didn't leave. He waited outside until my shift ended that night."Cleo, we've known each other twenty years."His eyes were shot through with red."Twenty years, Cleo. From the time you were six until you were twenty-si

  • Finding My Way Without You   Chapter 10

    For the next two weeks, an expensive ghost haunted the streets of Lorendon City.I went to the neighborhood grocery store to buy a frozen pizza.The cashier handed me the bagged order."Ms. Horstmann, the gentleman outside in glasses already paid for this."I followed the cashier's gaze.Paxton was standing outside the storefront window, watching me through the glass.I slid the paper bag back across the counter."Refund it. I'll pay myself."The card reader beeped, and I carried my newly repaid pizza back out of the store.He caught up with me right away, reaching to take the plastic bag from my hand."That's heavy on your fingers. Let me carry it back for you."I sidestepped his hand."Paxton, stop playing these little self-congratulatory games."His arm hung there, unclaimed, his chest rising and falling hard."I just wanted to do something for you."I looked at his face, drained of color from too many sleepless nights."I don't eat things that show up out of nowhere

  • Finding My Way Without You   Chapter 9

    The rain in Lorendon City finally stopped.Paxton had played two of his trump cards in a row.He'd destroyed Patricia. He'd taken down the Horstmann family's company.And all it had bought him was another block from Cleo.It completely defied every bit of logic he understood.In his version of the story, Cleo Horstmann was supposed to be the kind of woman who couldn't survive without him.She was supposed to break down in tears after receiving his gifts and beg him to take her home."Mr. Levis, your wine."A waiter set down a glass.Paxton lifted the glass but didn't drink.He kept thinking about yesterday, in that café, the flat, indifferent way Cleo had recited "six pounds fifty" to him.No hurt. No resentment.Just the kind of calm you'd show a stranger.That calm unsettled him in a way he'd never felt before.Just then, a commotion broke out at the restaurant entrance.A woman in a khaki trench coat shoved past the waiter and stormed in."Paxton!"Patricia's hair w

  • Finding My Way Without You   Chapter 8

    After work.By the time I got back to the apartment, I could hear an argument echoing down the stairwell.I picked up my pace.Paxton stood outside our door, holding a stack of gift boxes stamped with a high-end bird's nest logo.My mother blocked the doorway, a broom in her hand."The damp in Lorendon City is rough on your joints. This will help. Cleo doesn't know any better, but you shouldn't be encouraging her nonsense. She's out here suffering, and it doesn't bother you to watch?"He was trying to find an opening through my mother. In his mind, if he won her over, he'd have cut off my last way out.After all, she used to trust him completely."Shut your mouth!"My mother's voice shook with fury."Paxton, you've got some nerve showing your face here. When you let Patricia spread those lies about me, did you ever once think about how it would hurt me?"Paxton's tone carried a thread of impatience."I already handled that, and Patricia paid for what she did."I've already

  • Finding My Way Without You   Chapter 7

    I'd found part-time work at a café near where we lived.I was wiping down the espresso machine when the little bell over the door gave a bright chime."One Americano, no sugar."A voice rang out at the counter, one I knew far too well, low, even, and impossibly familiar.My hand froze on the machine for a second before I looked up.Paxton sighed, his tone weary."Cleo, you've made me search so hard for you."I set down the cloth and tapped a few keys on the register."Six pounds fifty. Card or cash?""Cleo, do you really have to keep this act up?"His voice stayed soft, almost indulgent, the way someone humors a runaway child."You can't even find your way around the streets back home, and you came all the way to Lorendon City to wait tables just to spite me? Isn't that a steep price to pay?"I picked up the barcode scanner by the register."There's a line behind you. If you're not ordering, please step aside."A flicker of displeasure crossed his eyes.He took out his c

  • Finding My Way Without You   Chapter 6

    Lorendon City.My mother and I rented a run-down apartment in Zone 2.I stood on the street corner, a printed paper map in my hand.No hand-drawn arrows. No cute little smiley faces.The street signs in foreign language might as well not have existed, for all the good they did me.I sent my mother home in a taxi first, then set out to walk back alone.She hated to see me struggle. "Cleo, why don't you just take a taxi too?""No." I kept my eyes on the red mailbox up ahead. "I can find my way."The first week, I took a wrong turn down a street.Rain came pouring down without warning. The cold drops soaked through my sweater in seconds.Back home, whenever it rained, he used to stand outside the school gates holding an umbrella, grumbling the whole time while still tilting it firmly to keep me dry.I ducked into a convenience store on the corner. Umbrellas of every color lined the shelves."One black umbrella, please." I handed my change to the blonde clerk."It's really com

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