02

02

“You’re back?” Faye looks at me like I just did something ridiculous.

I know. It’s crazy that I’m here after the scene we just did--walking out in front of my friends and crying like a baby but Harry made me come back, he said it’s his last wish from me, and I can’t say no even though my mind is saying otherwise.

“Yeah.” I smile.

“Myles, you don’t have to. I don’t want to see you hurt again like the last time.” She looks at me with concern.

“It won’t happen again, I promise. This is the last time I will let myself be stupid.” I try to laugh for her to calm down but she didn’t.

My break up with Harry was too much to take to that I didn’t eat for days and was only drinking water for the sake of staying alive. I hate that I did that but I was badly hurt and Faye was there and my mom too. I hated it when I saw her cry that made me came back to my senses.

“I’m fine. I promise.” I hold her hand tight. She nodded but still not fully convince.

My friends are looking at us--at me. Why wouldn’t they? They want something to talk to and apparently I’m a hot topic right now. I don’t even know why I can them friends, I guess I was just being modest or nice like I have always been.

I look away and look front where Harry is, greeting his guest and talking to some of the reporters. His wedding will surely be a talk of the town, he’s a known actor after all and is marrying a co-actress, they match--they are perfect for each other.

Not long after, the bride walk down the aisle and Harry is crying on the other side but while looking at him, I caught him staring at me. He immediately looks away and look at his future wife.

Many flashes, many camera, many people rooting for them. I smiled as I though about the what ifs. There wouldn’t be this many people or reporter to if we both ended up together and seeing him happy while now kissing the bride makes me happy because I think I made the right decision. I want to say that I regret everything but I can’t because I was happy in those times that we were together and I give my all, loved him too and I don’t think I was lacking at the time we spend together.

All are smiling while waiting for the bride to throw the bouquet and I don’t even know why I’m here in the crowd being part of the participants.

They were eager to catch it but I just stood up and not even interested but all gasp including me when it landed on my way. My arms are crossed and it landed in my arms perfectly.

“Picture!”

I didn’t even had the time when the bride came to my way to take a picture with me. I was shocked and unable to move, how did I ended up in this situation again?

“I can’t believe that just happen.” I don’t know if Faye finds it funny or is shock that I ended up getting the bouquet.

“Neither do I.” I mumbled.

And so yet again we’re going to their reception. I thought my missery would end in the church but here I am watching them dance while others are crying again. When will they stop crying? It’s getting into me.

Wait, is this how Faye feels when she sees me cry? I look at her, seriously looking at the newly wed but she caught my eyes.

“Are you okay?” How many times does she exactly have to ask that question? She knows the answer to that, I’m not okay because I’m here witnessing my first love dancing with his forever if that exist.

He’s happy but I’m hurting and I don’t know if I should be but I’m afraid, so afraid because I know we don’t have a chance together now that he’s with someone.

He never looked at me the way he’s looking at his wife right now and it’s breaking my heart because I’m starting to have doubts about our relationship in the past.

I heard rumors about him being with another girl while we were together but I choose to ignore it because he reassured me that I’m the only one but I know there were someone I was just blinded by my love to him that I choose to sweep it under the rug.

“We should go home. This is not doing you good.”

I know. It only broke me even more that I don’t know how to stand on my ground but I don’t want to show any weakness too even if it means that we’re staying here until this finishes.

“It’s almost dinner, it would be a shame if we wouldn’t get to try there foods.” I smiled to her.

“Myles, you don’t have stay. You don’t even need to be here. It will only ruin you more than you are now.”

“Faye relax.” I made her sit down. “I know my limits and I can still take it. I know I’m fragile about this things but trust me, this is my way of moving on from Harry. The truth it I’m closing the story between the two of us, just think of this as the last chapter of our book, okay?” She nodded.

The program was long and I was relieve that it was dinner time because that only mean it’s almost finished, the torture and the pain and I’m almost going home.

I just realize that there’s a lot of media. It’s kind of disturbing especially the bog cameras they’re holding.

The dinner was serve and I smile at Faye. “Almost.” I whispered that made her shook her head. I know she’s thinking that I’m crazy which I am but for all that worth I’m thankful that she’s always by my side.

We were both laughing when I saw a face in the dark side of the reception, he was looking at me but when I caught his eyes he hid in the darkness. I stood up and didn’t think of anything and just follow where my feet will take me. I can hear Faye’s muffled voice calling me to come back but I’m already arrive in the darkness.

He’s mad face, his serious eyes and his big figure welcomed me. I don’t know why he’s here because the last time I remember he despise Harry. And seeing him again made me remember all the memory we shared. I thought it wasn’t him but deep down I was hoping it’s him and my answers were heard because It’s him.

He looks mature compared to when we were still young. Our friendship didn’t end well and we never saw each other after that fight we had and that’s the reason why I’m in a big shock that he’s now in front of me, looking so angry.

“Asher.” I whispered. I open my mouth but no words left, I don’t know what to say and I’m overwhelmed by his presence. “W-What are you doing here?”

“I should be the one asking you that.” He crossed him arms and approach me.

“I was invited by Harry.” I want to take a step back but I would fall in the balcony so I stayed in my ground.

“Yet you came? You’re that stupid to came on his wedding?” He’s containing himself not to scream at me, maybe because someone will hear us.

“You don’t have to say that Asher. I know that already but this is my life. I wanted to see him happy.” I smiled although my tears are falling.

“Even if you’re hurting yourself?” He scoff.

“Yes, that’s how much I loved him.” I look at him straight in the eyes. I don’t know if I’m hallucinating but I saw pain while I said that. I look away as his eyes are too much to take.

“What’s stopping you from moving forward? Now that you have attended his wedding you must’ve realize that you just spend so much time hoping that you two would end up together but what did that get you? Nothing because this is bullshit! You didn’t do anything wrong, you shouldn’t be suffering like you are now.” He stops while I bit my lips. He’s right and I hated that he’s right. “Myles, move on and grow up. You’re not a kid anymore to understand that word. You’re the only one who can help yourself.” He said.

Before I could say anything he left me there, crying in the dark while taking all the words he said. His words were cruel but they were right. He’s right. How funny, I didn’t expect him to be this affected and I don’t even know why he knows I’m still hurting but one thing is for sure, he still value our friendship.

“Myles! Myles!” She found me. Sitting in the corner crying hard. She looks at me problematically. “Myles, why are you doing this?” She’s almost crying as she said and once again, I feel sorry for her.

I gasp for air as Faye hold me in her arms. I was crying so hard that I couldn’t breath.

We manage to left venue without causing disturbance. Faye drove me home still worried. She kept asking my questions but I’m not much of a talker at the moment as Asher’s word keep repeating in my head.

“Asher.” I begin. She looks at me with shock in her face, she know our friendship ended painfully. “He was there, angry because I was being stupid again.”

“Is that why you cried so hard?” She carefully asked.

“He said something that made sense. He’s right, I’m a grown-up woman I’m not a teenager who whines about breakup that happen ages ago.”

“Myles.” I can see it in her eyes, that she agree with Asher.

“I know.” I chuckle. “I should grow up and move on. I will.” I said determined.

When we arrive at my house, she was smiling and left after saying. “You can do it, you can move on. I believe in you.”

I jumped to my bed after removing my high heel shoes. I groan as I heard my phone rings.

“Mom.” She always calls to check on me. I don’t like it especially that I left the house to be independent and handle myself but she still calls me.

“Don’t be annoyed now. I just wanted to check on you.”

“You always does mom, and I’m okay.” I said annoyed.

Mom sighed and I can feel the atmosphere getting serious. “I miss how you smile before. I hate that you’ve change after that break up. Although you were a troublemaker it didn’t matter because you know what you were doing and you were happy together with your friends and that includes Asher.”

“Mom.”

“I know, I shouldn’t be mentioning him but you both were great back then sweetie. I can see that he really cares for you. I don’t know if you felt that but I did. He was a good boy to me too.”

“Why are we talking about him, mom?”

“I was just wondering how he’s doing. If he’s married and happy. I really haven’t heard of him after your fight.”

“I don’t know mom. I haven’t heard anything from him, I saw him today though.” Here we go again. I can never hide anything from my mom.

“You did? So you guys are in good terms now?”

“No, we fought again. More like he was lecturing me but that was it.”

“He still cares for you I see. I hope you’ll more of him, recolide and become friends just like before.”

My forehead creased. What does mom mean? What is she trying to imply? I don’t understand her sometimes and this is one of those times.

Asher what did you do to make my mom like this?