Chapter 4

The day before the wedding, I collected the baby's ashes and carried the small white porcelain urn to the cemetery.

But as I got closer, I stopped dead.

Someone had dug up Dad's grave. His headstone lay toppled in the mud, and his memorial photo was covered in footprints.

Keira stood under Spencer's umbrella, hurrying the workers along.

I rushed over.

"Who said you could touch my dad?"

Keira turned around.

"Lena, the Lowells had their spiritual advisor take a look. Your dad died the night of an unfavorable draw, and that's bad luck for the whole family.

"You started spotting again the other day, so Eleanor wants the grave moved before the wedding. Just for peace of mind."

I planted myself in front of the workers.

"Stop!"

Spencer yanked me away.

"We're only moving the grave. I already bought the best plot there is."

I wrenched free.

"This is my father! Touch him, and I'm calling the police!"

Spencer's jaw tightened.

"Keira's been running around doing all this for you, and you can't even say thank you? You show up and throw a fit. Look at yourself!"

As he spoke, he dragged me back again.

The workers scrambled to get out of our way, and the urn holding Dad's ashes slammed into the headstone and cracked open.

Most of his ashes spilled into the muddy water.

"Dad!"

I threw myself down and frantically scooped them back up.

The rain came down harder. The ashes mixed with mud kept slipping through my fingers.

Keira glanced down.

"It's already like this. Can't you just get a new urn?"

Spencer came to pull me up, but I held the white porcelain urn tight against my chest.

"What's that?"

"The baby."

He looked confused.

"The baby's gone."

Spencer froze. Then his expression darkened.

"The doctor said everything was stable a few days ago.

"The wedding's tomorrow. Don't use the baby to test my limits."

Keira held out her hand. "Let me see."

I backed away.

"Don't touch it."

She stepped toward me again, and Spencer clamped a hand around my wrist.

"Let her take a look so you two can put this to rest."

I pulled away on instinct.

The porcelain urn slipped from my arms and shattered on the ground.

The baby's ashes scattered over Dad's photo, and the rain washed them away in an instant.

I knelt in the mud, gathering them up by the handful.

My palms were covered in gray water.

Suddenly, I couldn't tell which part was Dad and which part was my baby.

I shoved Keira hard.

Spencer grabbed me.

"Enough!"

He looked down at me kneeling in the mud, his voice cold and hard.

"Since you're already on your knees, apologize to Keira for laying hands on her.

"The wedding's still on tomorrow.

"I'll act like today never happened."

I looked at him for a long time.

So Dad being gone could be treated like it never happened.

So could the baby.

As long as I put on the wedding dress, everything could be swept under the rug.

In that moment, I finally heard something inside me snap.

"I'm sorry..."

Spencer's face finally softened.

As he helped Keira away, he turned back to add a reminder.

"Don't stay out in the rain too long. You'll feel awful tomorrow if you catch a cold."

I stayed at the cemetery until dawn.

The next day, the wedding venue was packed with guests.

Spencer had the bridal suite turned up two degrees and canceled the champagne toasts.

"Lena gets cold easily, and she can't wear herself out."

At 9:30, I still hadn't shown up.

Keira leaned against the doorframe.

"She's not actually skipping it, is she?"

Spencer looked down, adjusting his cuff links.

"She's pulled this plenty of times. When has she ever actually left?

"She won't last three days without me."

At 10:15, I turned off my phone and walked through the gate at Logan.

At 10:30, a sudden, inexplicable dread hit Spencer, and he sent his assistant, Tyler Brooks, to pick me up.

In the end, Tyler ran in, white as a sheet.

"Mr. Lowell, Ms. Wardell applied for a long-term overseas assignment.

"The paperwork's already done. She was on a flight this morning."

The ring box in Spencer's hand hit the floor with a sharp clack.

By then, my plane was already in the air.