Chapter 10

Reaching to Paulo, I tapped on his shoulder after being hesitant for a while. He turned around and his brows turned into a quizzical frown. He must be wondering who I am to tap his shoulder like we're close friends.

"Hi! Um... so," I paused, thinking how I should ask about Sera. Damn! I should've thought this through first. But I'm here now and there's no turning back. Neil is probably digging my grave right now because I haven't come back with his coffee.

"Sorry. Who are you?" Paulo asked.

"Yeah! Hi. Um... I'm Sera's friend. Like I'm a new student here and... " Fuck! I'm bad at lying. "'Cause she told me to ask how are you doing? For some reason."

Paulo kept his confused look on his face. Then after a few seconds, he shook his head and his expression softened. "Tell her that I miss her. And that whatever decision she will make, I'm okay with it. I guess."

Hmm. Paulo seems not to be the same guy as what Sera described in her letter? But maybe Paulo was just acting or what. "But, if you really like her, you shouldn't give up, right?"

He sighed then turned his whole body at me. "Look, I have tried, okay? But it looks like for Sera, that I was forcing her. I wanted to not give up, but I also don't want to look desperate and someone who forces a girl just to be with him. Because I understand respect and boundaries."

"I see. So you really are serious with her?"

"Hell yeah! Of course I am serious with her! I like her so much that it pains me that I am walking away right now. And I haven't gotten enough sleep since last night." Judging by the looks in his eyes, he is telling the truth. But what does Sera see in him that made her reject her? She is actually lucky to have this guy! He has the looks, he's modest, honest, and someone you respect. 

"I don't even understand why she rejected me last night. I really thought that she liked me. And I have been in the dark these past few days. She's been giving me mixed signals."

"Did you try asking her what she really feels about you?"

"I did," he said while nodding. "There are parts of it that she was telling the truth. Some are lies, which I don't understand why she was lying to me in the first place."

"I see." I wrapped my chin with my fingers as I tried connecting the dots.

"But please do tell her that I still love her. And I miss her. Even if she didn't want me anymore," he said with a gentle look in his eyes.

I nodded. "Sure."

He smiled then continued his way back. And after that, I don't know what to think anymore. This whole thing is more complicated than I expected!

After Paulo left, I went back to Starbucks, falling in line again. It took me a while to get Neil's coffee. When I returned to his office, he was not there anymore. Maybe he fell down to the grave that he was digging for me? 

"Neil?" I called for his name as I placed the cup of coffee on his desk. As I was about to leave, I saw a picture frame somewhere along the papers. His desk is a mess and papers are everywhere. Some of his clothes were even around. You really thought this man was clean but he was actually sloppy.

I took the picture frame and stared at it. It was a picture of Neil, looking two to three years younger than now. He looked clean and happy, his hair was clean cut, still wearing his glasses, and was wearing a decent shirt that is not wrinkled compared to now. He was with the woman beside him. And that woman looks beautiful, with her blonde hair falling through her shoulders and her wide smile showed her perfect set of white teeth. The woman looked really familiar, and I couldn't think who she was and where I saw her. Suddenly I heard the door opening and saw it was Neil. I quickly put the frame back to its place, well, not exactly as to where it was before.

"You took too long. Did you have a tour?" he said as he hung his coat. He was holding a cup of coffee and a take out box.

"Your coffee is here," I said then I walked out of his desk with the coffee on my hand.

He sighed then took a quick glance at the coffee that I was holding. "I told you no cream."

I stared at it then he walked to his desk and placed his coffee and box on it. Well, I guess I'll have to drink this coffee instead. 

"Thanks for the free coffee," I said then I sipped on the cup.

"Give me the receipt and I'll deduct it from your salary," he said while taking out a container that smells like a warm mushroom soup.

"What? Oh come on," I just said then I stared at the food that he was placing on his desk. "Can I also have those?"

"No," he said then he started digging into it with the fork.

I pouted. "I found something. About Paulo."

His eyes glanced up at me. He chewed on his food then after he swallowed, he took a sip on his coffee. He really looks hungry as of the moment. "What about it?"

"Give me some of your food first before I tell it to you," I said. 

He sighed then he glanced at his set of food like he was choosing. Then he pushed a small container towards me. When I looked at it, I saw it was some meat and a cup of rice. "Is this going to deduct from my salary too?"

He didn't reply and kept eating his food. Then afterwards, he started drinking his coffee again. "Paulo. Update."

I rolled my eyes after I scoffed. "I talked to him about Sera. And it sounds like he was pretty serious about her and he's not the type of guy how Sera described him in her letters."

"But we did hear from her best friend, Sen, that she didn't like him anymore."

"Yeah! It's really weird. Like, if Paulo is just saying those things to a stranger like me, he was a good actor. Because he really looked like he was telling the truth."

He placed the empty containers at the side of his desk then continued drinking his coffee. "So you're saying that Sera is acting weird here? Not Paulo?"

"Yeah, because Paulo said that he didn't want to force her, the opposite of what Sera said. He really likes her that even if it's hard for him, he'll still walk away just so he could give her some space."

"Interesting," he said then he sipped on his coffee. "Maybe Paulo doesn't deserve Sera after all."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

"Because of how Sera talks about him. He should be the one reading this letter, not us," he said as he wiggled the envelope with his hand.

"But she wrote us the letter for us to give her some advice, right?"

"How do we know if she really tells Paulo about this? What if something's not right in here?"

Thinking about it, Neil could be right. Maybe Sera should give this letter to Paulo, so at least Paulo knows what Sera was really thinking.