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XLVIII: Walk Away
Najmah dipped her paintbrush in the palette and stroked gently on the canvas, humming softly to an unknown tune. She had been in that state ever since her encounter with Aslan. She had refused to think nor talk about it. Instead, she focused all of her attention on her canvases.
"You are sulking," Hanifa spoke from behind her, patting her two months old baby on the back. Her gaze roamed around the room which was filled with lots of painted canvas before settling on Najmah.
"I am spiraling," Najmah responded, her voice void of emotions.
"Is this how you are going to be for the rest of your life?" she furrowed her brows, laying her daughter who was fast asleep on the bed gently.
"Do I control my life?" Najmah challenged, stroking lightly on the canvas. "You see, as Klaus once said, painting is a metaphor for control. Every choice is yours, the canvas, the color, what you paint, it's all under your control."<
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Flawed Hearts XLIX: Letting It Out
There were moments in her life when all she ever wanted was to talk to someone, someone who understood her and there were moments when all she wanted was to be left alone. There were also moments when all she wanted was...something but nothing; she had no idea what she wanted, but she knew she wanted something.Najmah paced the length of her room, wondering about what she wanted at that moment. Her heart was in turmoil and her mind was muddled, her hands numb from all the painting she had done from the day before and the day before that.Mayhap she had exerted too much pressure on herself she thought as she wriggled her hands. A searing pain wound its way through her whole body and with a sigh, she arched her back to relieve herself of the pain.She dropped down on her bed with a huff and stared at the ceiling, refusing to think about the events that transpired the day before.As if pricked by a thorn, she
Flawed Hearts L: Liar Liar
Aslan scrubbed a hand over his face after his Zuhr prayer, wiping away the tears on his face. He had cried his woes to Allah during his sujood and after his salah, he felt better.Since childhood, Anne had always thought them to put trust in Allah whenever they made du'a and to have faith that things would work out well and so he did, every day and every night for the last three months she had been away from him.He could still feel the pain, the agony and turmoil raging within him like wildfire; nothing he had done was able to calm the fire, and he knew that only she had the ability to do so and yet, she kept on denying both of them the solace they needed. And now, she was willing to give it to someone other than him; she was willing to find it somewhere else.He knew that she could be a handful sometimes when he annoyed her or when he said something that triggered her emotions but the look she gave him when he kissed her
Flawed Hearts LI: Dark Reality
Walking around the hospital hallways, Najmah felt a bit nostalgic as memories of the last six years of her life in there came rushing back. She had just came out of her therapist's office, where she had terminated her therapy sessions for good.She knew it was a bit reckless on her part and a risk concerning her emotional instability, but it was a necessary risk she had to take. While her sessions had helped improve her condition, she knew that the fate of her recovery laid in her hands. She was able to fall in love with Aslan, that was a definite progress.While she thought she might no longer need her therapist, she had asked the woman to write a new prescription for her just in case of emergencies.Terminating her therapy sessions was a long time coming, and she could now address other issues with a clear mind now that it was off the plate.She had made up her mind to give him a second chance, after all
Flawed Hearts LII: She's Come Undone
Najmah tiptoed across the living room, hiding a package behind her back as she surveyed the area. Just as she placed her foot on the staircase, cheering victoriously for slipping in and out of the house undetected, she heard her mother call her."Waye ne ya zo ganinki?" (Who came to see you?) Hajiya Salma questioned crossly, folding her arms over her chest. Najmah swore in her head before turning around to face her mother.Hajiya Salma looked rather displeased as she stared at her youngest who looked more annoyed than guilty at being caught."Fahad ne," (It was Fahad.) she replied, sucking in a breath."Fahad?" Hajiya Salma gasped. "Najmah are you in your right senses? How dare he come to see you? You refuse to give your husband a listening ear yet you have the time to talk to your ex? Has he no shame? He dares to come to my house to speak to you knowing that you're still married?""
Flawed Hearts LIII: Resolutions
Najmah blinked, staring at the door of her room expectantly. She had no idea what she was expecting but deep down, Najmah knew it wasn't a what but a who but after how she treated him, he wouldn't be bursting through that door not then not ever.Was she foolish to take such a decision after coming to terms with her feelings for him? It was getting hard for her to make a decision.I hate you.I love you.I want you.I need you.I can't stand you.You complete me.She was still indecisive and direction-less without him. The night she had pushed him away, she had slept peacefully. The second night, she had a nervous breakdown and couldn't sleep. The third night was worse. Her indecisiveness had taken a toll on her, and she couldn't stop thinking about all the memories they had shared
Flawed Hearts LIV: Only You
Najmah stood at the entrance of Bristol Palace Hotel taking deep breaths before ambling in, heading straight towards the receptionist, scrolling through her phone for a picture of Aslan."Hi," she smiled at the lady, showing the phone screen to her. "I was hoping you would help me with something, my husband's been staying here for a month now, and I don't know his room number.""Why don't you call him? There are lots of guests who...""Listen, lady," Najmah smiled sardonically, locking her phone screen. "This is really urgent, and I don't have any more time to waste, okay? So you're gonna check your computer right now and look up his room number or so help me God, I will cause a scene here.""I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't give out guest's information, it's against the hotel's policy.""Hotel policy? You either give me the information I asked, or I swear to God, I'm gonna scream so loud that
Flawed Hearts LV: Sailing Ships
He lifted his head which he had burrowed into her hair and gazed at Lale who had barged into the room unannounced."Are you going to explain to me what's going on here? I was outside waiting for you, and here you are cuddled with the enemy," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "We've missed our flight.""Lale," he called out in a hushed tone, pressing a finger to his lips. "I will meet you in the living room okay? I don't want her to wake up."She made a sign of not complying but seeing the look on his face, she turned around and left the room, banging the door loudly for effects.Najmah shifted in her sleep, burying her face in his neck. He sighed, not wanting to leave the bed even for a second but knowing Lale, she would burst right through the door again and wake Najmah up.Slowly but reluctantly, he slid his arms from under her then set her head on the pillow before liv
Flawed Hearts LVI: A Story To Tell
"Do you plan on staying in bed for the whole day?" Aslan questioned, twirling a strand of her hair with his finger."Mm-hmm," she nodded, inhaling his musky oudh scent. "I like it better here where I am.""As much as I'd like to stay here with you," he chuckled, untangling their legs. "At some point, we're going to have to get out of bed so why not do it now?""I'm not going anywhere," she pouted, wrapping her arms around his torso. "Neither are you.""Sevgilim," he kissed the corner of her lips, taking her hand into his. "I'd like very much to stay in bed with you, but we need to eat, I'll just order for room service and then I'll come back to you okay?""Fine but-"The shrill ringing of her phone interrupted her and she groaned, silencing it without checking who the caller was."Aren't you picking up?" Aslan's brows furrowed as he got down from the bed.
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