Chapter 09 — A Numbing Feeling

AVA 

“So, are you finally going to tell Asher how you feel?” Avery snickered, on our way back from school. 

It’s been seven years since Caden died. Life goes on, especially after the bloodshed. I went to college and got a degree. My plan was to go straight to fashion school, but Dad wouldn’t hear of it. He wanted me in the family business if I’m going to waste my life pursuing child’s play. 

So, in order to get him off my back, I needed to prove to him how passionate I am about fashion. I got the degree and handed it over to him. 

Having done a year—an exciting year, out of fashion school, chasing a dream that made my parents skeptical. 

Dad fumed for days, until he finally calmed down and made peace with my decision. That aside, for some odd reasons, my friends think I’m in love with Asher. 

Being at the front, I turn to look at them while walking backward. 

“I told you several times, Asher and I are just friends—” I bumped into someone, causing me to turn  just as they gripped my shoulders to steady me. 

I paused, looking at Asher. He gently pulled me to the side, his lips stretching into a smile. 

“Whoa! I’m in a hurry, I will catch you later.” He clicked his tongue, adding a playful wink before entering his car. 

I didn’t move until the vehicle drove out of sight. I glanced back at my friends, who were already looking at me with mischievous expressions on their faces. 

“You were saying?” Fallon mocked, eyeing me. 

“We can literally see the hearts in your eyes when you look at him.” Avery teased, earning an embarrassed groan from me. 

“It doesn't matter, we are best friends.” I pointed out the same thing I have been telling myself all through college. 

That was when the crush started. I fell in love with my best friend then, now I’m twenty-four and nowhere near being over him. 

Asher changed so much over the years in terms of looks. Not to say he was ugly before, things are just different since I started seeing him differently. 

“Asher is definitely in love with you too, you should totally tell him.” Avery encouraged, being a helpless romantic herself. 

“In my opinion nothing good is going to come from telling him. Asher doesn’t do relationship, and you aren’t the type to casually hook up with a guy and forget it—” 

“I’m way more open, and I was still hurt when we hooked up and he never returned my calls. Asher basically ghosted me. The only thing telling him will do is make your friendship awkward,” Fallon advised. 

“Well, you are not Ava.” Avery tries to cheer me up. “Besides, that was months ago.” 

“Well,” I interject before things spin out of control. “I’m not telling Asher I’m in love with him, because I am not. How about we end the conversation right here and instead start talking about our project?” 

“Fuck! I totally forgot about that. Zoom call later, right?” Fallon asked, retreating. 

“Right,” I confirmed. 

I waved them goodbye and slipped through the gate. 

Beth and Sophie were the first to catch my attention due to the fact that they were messing up the place. I thought about intervening, but realizing it isn’t worth getting wet over. I let them continue to hose each other down. 

“Girls!” Mom yelled, emerging from the corner of the house. 

I laughed, leaving them for her to handle. I dropped my stuff onto the arms of a servant, making my way toward my bedroom. 

Part of Dad’s support is giving me a work space. Meaning I don’t have to design or sew in my bedroom again. I have a whole different space dedicated to that. 

After freshening up, I went up to the terrace to see if Asher had gotten back from wherever he went. I feel restless if I don’t see him for a while—I am never admitting that. 

“Ava?” 

I looked up at the sound of my name, my lips curving into a smile. Laylah waved at me, then quickly looked down as one of the twins began to yank at her top, wanting her attention. 

“Hi Jack, hi Joe!” I called out to the twins, waving at them. 

Jack waves back, Henshel’s mini version. Joe on the other hand bears a more striking resemblance to her mother. 

After attending to them, Laylah's attention returned back to me. Ever since Henshel married her three years ago, we became fast friends. 

“Looking for someone?” She teased, tilting her head at me. 

Oh, did I mention she likes to tease me a little too much. Blushing, I gave her a mean glare. 

“Is Asher back yet? There’s something I want to show him. I am expected to be at a zoom meeting in about an hour or so—“ and I want to see him first because I don’t know how long that would take. 

“I heard his voice sometimes earlier. I think he is back…” She looked down into the compound. “His car is right here.” 

“Sweet, I’ll be there in a second.” I hurried off the terrace. 

Making a stop at my work-room, I grab my school sketch book to show him my score on the last test. It’s only fair to show him since he was up all night with me—not all night, but half the night. 

Going through the passageway, I hurried into the Tuhka’s mansion. It looks a little different because Mrs. Tuhka recently had it repainted. 

I slowed down on getting to the family’s quarters. I arrived at Asher’s room, giving the door a quick tap before stepping in. 

“Asher, guess what—” I cried excitedly, stopping mid sentence when I realized he wasn’t alone. 

Two figures jerked upright, and I watched as Asher rolled off the girl. Rattled and flustered, I whipped around, fleeing the scene. 

I was almost out in the hallway before realizing I wouldn’t make it to my house. So, I ran into Bethany’s room, startling the poor girl. 

“Ava? Are you okay?” She came down from her bed, staring at me with worried eyes. 

I gave her a half-hearted laugh, because what else am I supposed to do? How do you fake laughter when your eyes are burning, your chest is tightening and it feels like not enough oxygen is getting to your brain.  

“I just need a moment, something bad happened at school today. I can’t cry at home, it makes my Mom worried.” I lied, slowly sinking to the floor. 

She nodded, then went back to whatever she was doing. I sat down on the floor for several minutes, thinking about how I am going to face Asher after what just happened. 

Why didn’t I wait until he answered before going in? Dragging myself off the floor, I looked at Beth’s alarm clock. 

“Thanks Beth. And please, don’t tell anyone about…” I gesture around, twisting the doorknob. 

“Of course, your secret is safe with me.” She made a zipping motion over her mouth, making me smile. 

“You’re back so soon, isn’t Asher home?” Mom inquired, her tone reflecting her surprise. 

“Yeah, Laylah said he left again. I’ll be in my work-room if anyone needs me—please don’t need me.” Because I need a good solid one hour to cry out my heart until I can’t feel it any more!