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39. Just Drive
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Forever Jude 1. Third Time's the Charm
I wake up to an empty bed. The sound of the shower running comes from behind the bathroom door. He is in the shower. Should I take this chance to run? Not run. Go back to my room. This is his room. I should not be here in the first place. This is either going to turn into nothing, something, or…a colossal mistake. What if this was a mistake? We’ve been waiting so long for the right time to get together but put us together at a wedding and suddenly it’s like we can’t wait. It’s the stupid wedding fever.All those flowers and lovey dovey-ness and suddenly everything was all rainbows and the next thing you know we are sneaking upstairs in the middle of the night while everybody else partied hard…Everybody else.Holy fuck.The last thing I want is for everybody else–or just one of them, really–to see me sneaking out of Jude’s room early in the morning. I’ll never hear the end of it. Ever.I push away the covers and then just as quickly pull them back over me when I realise I’m star
Forever Jude 2. Tonight's Plans
Trey bumps shoulders with Simon the moment we show up to breakfast. That’s how I know they know. They probably figured it out when we left together last night. Still much better than one of them catching me sneaking out of Jude’s room, though. Not that it matters now. Now, we are together. There’s nothing to hide.There’s only four people at the table; Trey, Simon, Sam, and Liam.Simon looks at us and a slow grin takes over his face.The look on his face promises a load of questioning later. I would like to say I don’t look forward to it. But I think I do. I need to shriek. In excitement. And have someone shake me and tell me I’m not dreaming. And then roll a hundred times on the beach and shout to the ocean. Simon is the perfect company for all of that.Right now, I’m biting down on my bottom lip to hold back the eternal smile that has wanted to take over my face for a while now. My cheeks already hurt. Even my head aches. I didn’t know it was possible to get a headache from being
Forever Jude 3. He Is a Total Man Now
We don’t go up after breakfast. We go outside, drawn by the ocean. There aren’t many people on this part of the beach at this time. There’s a bit of an empty stretch of land between our hotel and the next, then some more to the next one. It’s quiet for now. I can only imagine how it’ll be at night while people gather for the beach parties that are bound to be rampant at this time of the year.We hold hands as we walk down the beach, talking about everything and nothing. We talk about school, and work, and our families. Jade recently got engaged to her boyfriend of two years. Jude doesn’t like it. He says he has a bad feeling about the guy, and thinks Jade is too young anyway. She is in medical school, going into her fifth year. Jude thinks it’s the wrong timing, with the wrong guy. I don’t know much about Jade’s fiance, so I don’t know whether Jude’s reservations are based on fact or whether it's just him being an older brother who’ll never think any guy is good enough for his li
Forever Jude 4. How Long Will We Last?
The moment the house comes into view, my breath hitches in my throat. I’m not the only one who looks totally captivated, though. Beside me, Simon curses softly. On my other side, Maria whips out her phone for a photo. Yeah, that must be one amazing shot. I’m sure she is glad she didn’t bail out. She would have regretted it. Because the party is on a private island.Isaac only let us know about that amazing bit like an hour ago. He said like everyone else, he thought the party was going to be at the hotel the band was staying. Only for the manager to reveal at the last minute it’d be offshore.We are not even there yet–the boat is about to dock, though–but this is already the best party I’ve ever been to. Not that I’ve been to many, but yeah. Seriously, what can beat a private island party with your favourite band?From out here in the ocean, we can see the lit-up mansion, a few cottages, the palm trees, the party lights set up outside, and people walking around. By the time we get t
Forever Jude 5. It's Just a Temporary Thing
Jude is waiting outside the bathroom when I get out. I ignore him and walk right past him, but he rushes ahead of me and blocks my path.I glare up at him.“I’m really sorry, that was dickish of me.” He rakes his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath. “I’m fucking this up already, aren’t I?”I move my eyes from him and stare at the wall next to him. I don’t want to spend the night mad. I really don’t. We obviously need to talk about stuff–we jumped in too eagerly. Just because we slept together last night doesn’t mean we should get back together. It was a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing, and maybe that’s all it was meant to be. If we had done this the right way, we wouldn’t be all over the place not even a day into the relationship.I look back at him. He looks like he feels real shitty, so I’ll let it be.He was jealous. I get jealous too. But it’d be great if he didn’t say hurtful things while at it.“Let’s go look for the others,” I say, sticking my hands in my jacket
Forever Jude 6. Cool Boyfriend
Isaac goes back to his friends after I assure him I’ll be okay. When we part, I go down to the beach. I take a deep breath and then release it once I get far away from the activity. The air is cool and salty. After a few drags, I feel better. I look back towards the mansion, a knot forming in my stomach. Fine, Jude was an ass. But does it have to be like this? I don’t enjoy being mad at him, and I don’t want this night to keep on this way. I’ve waited so long for this to waste the time we have together like this.He looked really contrite and he regretted the words as soon as he said them. He didn’t say sorry only to placate me or to get back on my good side. He really meant it. I know him–it’s all I’ve been doing the past couple of years, getting to know him on a level I never did when hearts were crowding my eyes and dopamine pumping through my veins–and I know he was being sincere.Now I feel horrible for making such a big deal out of this. How can we make this work if every li
Forever Jude 7. A Little Badass
On New Year’s day, Jude and I are on the road, heading for his grandparents’. This is the first time I’ll be spending any time around Jude’s family. Over the years, he has gotten quite close with mine. Whenever he is back home, he has to come by at least once. But I’ve never been to his house. And here I am, going to spend two days and nights with his extended family.“How are they?” I ask as we get closer to our destination. We passed the last town about ten minutes ago and there’s nothing out here but forest and farmland. I’ve rolled my window down to enjoy the fresh countryside breeze on my face.“My family?” he asks, looking away from the mostly empty road for a second and at me. “I have no idea. Though I have to warn you, I remember one of my cousins to be a pain in the ass. He got along with Jared when we were younger.”I arch an eyebrow. “Birds of a feather?”Jude’s older brother bullied him when they were younger.Jude nods.“Maybe he has changed,” I say. “I mean, look at you
Forever Jude 8. I Can Feel It In My Bones
A lot more people arrive in the evening. When we sit down for dinner, every spot at the sixteen seater dining table is filled. There are so many and that’s a good thing–no one pays any attention to me beyond the initial introduction. Other than Ron, of course. He has been throwing nasty glares my way all night, as if he’s planning my murder in his head.I’m sitting near one end of the table, with Jude on my right and Janet on my left. Jade and Jared ended up on the other side of the table, with one of their first cousins sitting between them.The aunt sitting at the head of the table right next to Janet is quite conversational. She is the main driver of the conversation, asking about everyone’s family and work. I’m guessing she is in her mid sixties.She has engaged almost all of her nephews and nieces when she finally turns her attention to Jade. “Jade, that’s a beautiful ring you’ve got right there.”Everybody’s attention turns to Jade. Jade looks down at her ring and then smiles a
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